Susanna Barkataki (She/They): We're here, but welcome to our… our office hours and our exploration for today. It is Wednesday, August 13th, 2025.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And I thought we would explore what it means to be trauma-informed in a not-trauma-informed context, right? Like, our world, our society, our culture.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): For many of us, for some of us, maybe we are in, like, an immediate community that is, but for many of us, we might be living in…
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): social structures or work-in-work environments that are not, you know, that are not actually caring for our choice, our agency. They're not using invitation-based language or giving us permission to opt in and out.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): That maybe are overwhelming to our nervous systems, and so I thought we'd explore
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): What it is, like, how can we care for ourselves?
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and others.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): In conditions that are not trauma-informed.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Nice. Okay, Caitlin, hi. So great to…
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): See you, and thank you. And, …
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): it was sort of shocking, the first yoga event that wasn't exactly trauma-informed. Bonnie, what do you… what do you mean?
Bonnie@YogaConnexus: I recently did a yoga intensive with a teacher I've been following for years, and who actually helped us when, like, we needed to call attention to a not-great situation. …
Bonnie@YogaConnexus: But her teaching wasn't exactly trauma-informed, and it was just kind of a shock to my nervous system, like, to not have the invitation, and just to kind of notice, like.
Bonnie@YogaConnexus: you know, when we were kind of being bossed around, and we weren't doing it the right way, even though she was calling out everybody else for their wrong way, but then we had to do it her right way, I just, I was like, it was sort of like that Scooby-Doo, like, what? What? So, yeah.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yeah, yeah, and it can be so disorienting, I think, when we're in spaces that we think are going to be…
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): You know, I think it's… It's almost like an expansion for me of the word trauma-informed to…
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): to community-centered, to empowerment-centered. I don't even know if we have all the words, right? But it's actually a complex, combination of things that we're doing.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): to create a space that returns a locus of control and empowerment to each individual, and not us as teacher, right? And I think about this with
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): my parenting as well, right? There's so many places, right, and for folks in workplace, you know, in our workplaces, in our relationships with colleagues, you know, if we're essentially the superior of someone or a subordinate, right? Such a weird word, superior or subordinate, but…
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): You know, there's hierarchies in workplaces, and…
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): making that power explicit, and then choosing how we either wield it or respond to it, you know?
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And all of those things.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): all of that is a part of, for me, what it is to be trauma-informed, and I see… Amy said, I got my 200 hour from someone like that. Yeah, embodies… almost all of us probably did, it's true. …
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And…
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): certainly many folks have been in classes like that, right? Or learning experiences like that, and so we can kind of know from trusting
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): our own nervous systems, trusting our gut, like a little gut check. Our breath, right, what's happening in our bodies, like, does this space feel…
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): like, expansive, or does it feel more contractive? And we're conditioned from when we're very young, through the school system, to just, one, like, tolerate, two, expect.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And then three, like, reinforce these… those more power-over, not-trauma-informed types of, ways of being. And so it is…
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Radical and liberatory when we can… even when we can just notice it, even if we can't do anything about it.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): So, yeah, thank you for all of that. And I want to just start us off with a little, check-in, a little practice in our bodies, so you can find a way to be that's easeful.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): maybe seated… Standing, lying down.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Noticing your breath.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Hmm…
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And…
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Beginning to connect in deeply.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): to your own body, your own felt sense or rhythm. If it feels supportive to bring awareness to your body, then do that. If you prefer to bring awareness to your breath.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Or just some other sensation, invitation to do that.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Deep breath in… And full breath out.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Noticing where you might feel ease and safety in your body.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Could be in one small place, like, maybe in your little pinky finger.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Noticing…
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): If you can expand… The feeling of that ease and safety.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Through your whole body.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Now letting your awareness… Move from your breath, or whatever point of focus.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Into a reflection.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): On a time where you felt… Grounded.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And safe enough to take a risk. And this could be big or small. This could even be, like, a moment of…
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Maybe on your yoga mat, being on all fours, and…
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Reaching out and lifting up your left arm, sending your right leg back behind you.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): A little bit of a balance.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): We're standing up for Rakshasana, Tree Pose.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): There's all these ways that we… Ground.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Feel the points of contact with the Earth.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And then extend.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): In our asana practice.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And also in our lives.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And so you might… Bring your arms up, expanding out.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): As much as you want, any amount, away from your body.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Feeling what it's like to… Extend.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And then exhale.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Bringing your hands back to tend, placing your hands on your own heart, or on your own body, anywhere that feels supportive.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I… am doing… exactly what I need to do.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Just as I am.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I honor and accept myself.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): You can stay right here if you'd like, expanding and stretching your arms out. Again, maybe the same direction, or another one, maybe up.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Towards the sky, or down towards the earth, or back behind you.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And then inhale, bringing your hands somewhere else on your body that might want to be tended to, cared for.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I can protect what's precious.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And that's in that protection and that care of myself.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I find strength.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And I can do that to the best of my ability right now.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): With what I know, and all the tools and wisdom and knowledge that's available to me.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And then one more time, if you'd like, stretching in either the same direction or a different direction.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Practicing with the spanda, the movement of energy, Contraction and expansion.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And I think often in our society, we think of expansion as, like, the desirable, right? Like, more do.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): But playing with expansion is just, like…
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): The little kind of break between the contraction, the care, bringing your hands to care somewhere else.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): for yourself.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Maybe gently massaging wherever your hands are, if that feels good.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I surrender.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Surrender and release.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): my ability… To know, to control… But despite… Everything.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I love and care.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): For myself.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I'm releasing… Your hands resting them down anywhere on your body.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I'm gonna tell a little story. You're welcome to listen or turn the sound down if you prefer to just sit in silence, and I'll bring my hands together in front of my face in case your sound is off, so you can see when we're complete.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): But this story, as we're coming up to the celebration of the birth of Krishna, is… and I won't go into detail, because it can be kind of an activating story, but the story of Krishna's birth was a fraught… a fraught moment. It wasn't an easy moment.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): It was a time when… There was a lot of oppression and control in the…
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): community. There was very harsh conditions.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And… there was a ruler named Kamsa who was just kind of… Wreaking havoc across the community.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And he… it was not safe for his wife to be pregnant or give birth, and so she was trying to take care of her child, the child that would be Krishna.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And the texts say on the night that she went into labor, the stars shone really brightly, the river flowed gently and full, and there was a kind of stillness over the land.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): In a trauma-informed perspective, we might call this a moment of co-regulation with the universe.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): The environment shifting.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Just enough.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And sometimes we might notice these subtle shifts.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): If we're able to attune to them the gentle temperature or breeze on our skin.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Maybe the warmth or cool of the environment, the sunlight.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): The coolness, whatever it is.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): That's supportive, and in this moment, Krishna was born.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And so, though he was not safe where he was, he was placed
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): In a basket, and began a journey. And… in this journey.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): He was carried by someone who was caring for him, and their journey was not easy. It was through storms, through darkness, and he even came to the Yamana River. And at the river, although the waters were really high, the…
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Tales say that they parted enough for Vasudeva Krishna's… Caretaker to pass.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And in the community that he arrived at, there was a new family who cared for him, embraced the vulnerable.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And his childhood was so nourishing, full of music and play and connection.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And soon, from… You know, his year passed to year past.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Krishna grew into the divine being, right, and acknowledging that, for many, Krishna is not just a person or a human form, but also
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): … also a divine being, right? So… or an energy or a quality.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And he embodied these qualities of kindness, of playfulness, sometimes cheekiness, joy.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Through having been nurtured in community care, in an environment that nourished him.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And he would grow to challenge the rule of the oppressive king, and restore justice and equality and…
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): More ease, harmony in the universe to the community where he lived.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And so, from this story.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And this is definitely a more trauma-informed kind of liberatory reading, right? There's many ways to read the story, so just acknowledging that.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): It's asking us to explore. You know, we're…
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): We are born as sentient beings into the world that is filled with challenge, sometimes external challenges, like oppression.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): War, violence, gender-based violence.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Sometimes internal challenges.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Mental health challenges, physical challenges, right?
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And so in… these causes and conditions, yoga…
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): practice is no guarantee of removal of suffering, right? There's not an immediate, like, lifting of oppression.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): But what in us is being born that we can care for?
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): How can we protect our joy? Our… Playfulness.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And are there small acts that make it possible for peace or power, joy, or playfulness, ourselves or others?
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): to grow.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): to emerge
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): So, reflecting on what creates that kind of safety or choice and agency.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): where can we lean on our relatives, right? Not necessarily…
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Just family, but, like, friend, family, community, relational, community care and support.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And protect what strengthens.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): The Protector.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And the protected.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): We can close our practice with… a little… phrase in English.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): If you would like to use this. Inhale. I am safe.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Exhale.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I create safety.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Inhale, I am safe.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Exhale, I create safety.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Inhaling…
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Gently coming out of this meditative practice. We'll move into journaling in a moment, but looking around you, taking in color and shape and form.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Maybe noticing if there's anything in your environment that helps cultivate a feeling of protection, protectedness, groundedness, safety.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And then we'll come back.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Together.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I asked you a few questions.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And I'll put some of them in the chat, if you'd like to take a little time to journal.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): What in me is being born that needs Or wants protection.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): What small acts today make it possible for peace to live and grow?
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): What conditions?
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Have helped you feel safe enough?
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): To take courageous action.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And the last question, how can you create or be a part of a network of care that protects the vulnerable?
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): So you can choose one and journal on that, or choose to write a little bit on all of them.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I'll play some music with no lyrics while we're writing.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And then we'll… Talk in a moment.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): We'll journal till the music stops, so it's usually around four and a half minutes.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Taking some time to finish your writing, your reflection.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And I'll invite you, if you would like, to come back to our… circle…
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): If you'd like to turn on your…
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Camera, or just come back into the… into the space, that's great.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I wanted to open up for any questions, could be on this, or anything else, any reflection.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Today, that's… Something that wants to be held with a supportive yoga at this time.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): maybe just a question that I have for you, as well, is how can we be… trauma-informed.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Even in situations, conditions that are not.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Right, trauma-informed.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): What does that look like for you? What supports that for you?
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And… also… highlighting that… Leaving the situation is… If it is…
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): if you're alone and don't have support, right, is an absolutely a trauma-informed response. We don't have to stay. If we can leave, we don't have to stay in conditions, you know? So just…
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Really making clear that it's not… it's not, …
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): saying that we have to stay in those situations. For example, Krishna leaving, right? And people taking that community care step of saying, these conditions are not supportive for life and growth and wholeness.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Let's go somewhere else.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yeah.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And so… Floor is open.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And I also… and I'll come to you in just a moment, Caitlin, I just want to name, I just got news while we were journaling about a family, something that has come up for my family, so I'm letting you know we'll probably stop a little bit early today, because I do, speaking of, like, causes and conditions.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I… I think it would be good if I…
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Take a little time to go intend to, to something that happened here, so… That's, …
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): That's a deep, a deep and powerful thing.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): So, but I'd love to take the time to just share. We'll take about 10 minutes for us to share, and I'm coming to you, Caitlin.
Caitlin (she/they): Hi, hey y'all. I'll take myself off video, or on video.
Caitlin (she/they): Off of off video.
Caitlin (she/they): Hmm.
Caitlin (she/they): First, I would just like to say thank you for being completely honest and vulnerable, even just, like, sharing what you just shared, and…
Caitlin (she/they): taking that space, because I'm getting emotional, just…
Caitlin (she/they): that was my first response whenever you said, like, what do you do to remain trauma-informed in spaces that aren't? And, I knew immediately I wanted to get off.
Caitlin (she/they): Of mute and share walking away or leaving.
Caitlin (she/they): …
Caitlin (she/they): it's about protecting my own peace, it's about protecting my energy, and when I feel triggered by other people or situations or anything.
Caitlin (she/they): I have to do what I can do, and I've…
Caitlin (she/they): I've spent time learning how to create an energetic boundary, and if I feel that I can't maintain that in a space, I give myself 100% permission to walk away.
Caitlin (she/they): …
Caitlin (she/they): And so I just wanted to say that I'm really grateful that you brought that up, because that's what I wanted to say, and it's confirmation that I'm…
Caitlin (she/they): taking the care that I need when I need it, and I also…
Caitlin (she/they): I want to say thank you for modeling that. …
Caitlin (she/they): During a time when you're holding space.
Caitlin (she/they): And I will, … Pass. Thank you.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Thank you, Caitlin.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yeah.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): really appreciating that it's, like, deep… Powerful practice of brahmatarya.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And it's modeled, you know, in this very story, which I didn't even see until we were just there, and I was like, right, because even my question makes it sound like
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Like, there could be that pressure to feel like we have to stay, right?
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Like, oh, it's trauma-informed state, but no. No.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And then there's some situations we can't leave, right? Like…
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): certain conditions within my own body, right? There's certain things that… that are not in this moment, and…
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): probably not gonna change, right? And, like, the entire United States, yes, the government and the policies.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Some of us can leave, some of us can't leave, right? Like, and…
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And so, what does it look like?
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): to be trauma-informed, and one of the things I think about a lot is, like.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Even as we're under, like, duress, say, politically, you know, and all the isms.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): in my everyday relationships, my relationships with my friends, with my family, students, right? Like, just one example, it's a small example, but…
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): we always say on programs, hopefully no one knows, it's just to be like, I want a refund now! We always say no refunds, right? But if someone writes to us with a particular story or situation.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Of course we honor their refund, you know? And…
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): many companies don't do that. So they thought, this is the policy, we don't, you know, and… and so I just… it's like, we can bring humanity
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and trauma-informed care everywhere we go. And it can be about checking in. For me, so much, it's about checking in with my values.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And that's really the Yamas and Yamas, you know a lot, maybe a few others.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): values, and then acting from that place. Like, what is the most kind, the most loving, the most truthful thing I can do here, right? And not power over, not coercion, not control, but…
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): But care.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yeah. Anyone else?
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And welcome, Rivers. Hi, Bonnie.
Bonnie@YogaConnexus: I… you know, I was trying to figure this out for a situation in my family. My brother and sister-in-law have a, like, 180-degree different parenting style than I do, and
Bonnie@YogaConnexus: it's hard to sit there at the dinner table and watch them being unkind to my nephew, and just doing really passive-aggressive things. Like, my brother wouldn't order food because he thought Levi had ordered too much.
Bonnie@YogaConnexus: And he sat there watching Levi eat.
Bonnie@YogaConnexus: Waiting for him to not be able to finish. And I just sat there saying, we believe in you, Levi. I mean, he's almost 13. I'm like, that kid is gonna finish that plate, you know? I mean, burger and fries, 13-year-old boy, like, it's done. And so, I just…
Bonnie@YogaConnexus: I don't know, I don't know if just sitting there and being like, Levi, we believe in you was enough. I mean, he finished it, and my brother had nothing to eat. I mean, it was just this ridiculous situation that I'm like…
Bonnie@YogaConnexus: Like, how did we even come to that? I… I don't know, and I don't expect an answer from here, but that was just one situation where other people were not behaving in, like, a trauma-informed way, and I really was not sure how.
Bonnie@YogaConnexus: to navigate it. So, as an example of, you know, and it's like, it's not the whole United States, but I also couldn't just walk… get up and walk away. I mean, it was… we'd literally been in Colorado for 3 days.
Bonnie@YogaConnexus: They came down from Fort Collins, we met in the middle of Denver and Fort Collins, so it was supposed… it was like happy family reunion, but every happy family reunion also has that, so…
Bonnie@YogaConnexus: I guess I'm just offering that as, like, a situation, what we all might encounter, and also, like, yeah, go Levi, we believe in you. It's like, I hope that was enough.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Thank you, Bonnie. Yeah, I… I… for me, in those moments… It's very hard.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Because, you know, we're not the parent, and so we can't, you know, even if we're related.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I do think it's that, like, modeling a playful another way for that young person. It's tricky with young people, right? Because, because, of course, we want to be able to
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): help?
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And yet, we may be in a situation that is totally not trauma-informed, and we can't, you know? But I do think that helps.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And that support. Sometimes it's just one person, like that kid knowing that there's someone that loves and accepts them as they are, you know, and is cool with them eating as little or as much as they want to eat, you know? It's like the, yeah, the ridiculousness of needing to control that or, like, shame that in any way. …
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And I think you're right, there's not necessarily answers, but it's just like, okay, what can I do?
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): In that moment that, like, shows some care.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and space.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yeah.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Thank you for sharing.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Anyone else?
Monica: I had one… I suppose I'm asking a question. The question that you've wrote, how can we be trauma-informed even in situations that are not trauma-informed?
Monica: I suppose I'm putting it out to the community as What?
Monica: Mike, you think we could do it when it comes to the medical community?
Monica: So when… Medical practitioners are not…
Monica: Hearing you, or listening, or doing anything to validate your experiences.
Monica: Like, the recent one is that the doctor literally laughed and said, oh, well, you're just an enigma, we just don't know what's… what's happening with you, you know?
Monica: And sort of sent me on my way.
Monica: Or they say, Well, you have this condition, and don't really…
Monica: offer any solution beyond that. It's just…
Monica: you're experiencing that because you have this, and there's no follow-up of, well, I'm just expected to live like this now, or what is it? So, I suppose I'm putting out to the community what would… what might you suggest?
Monica: yeah, I could do in that situation. I'm sure other people are experiencing… have experienced similar things.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yeah.
Monica: Yeah, yeah, that's a solid response, yeah.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Monica, remind me where you are in the world.
Monica: I'm in, Leicestershire in England.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Right, so socialized medical care.
Monica: Yes.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yes.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Because I do think it makes some difference, right, to understand the context.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): It's terrible. It happens everywhere. It happens in the US, too. I'm, …
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): with private medical care. I've had…
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): terrible things, like, so, so not trauma-informed things happen all the time. Recently had a wonderful trauma-informed experience, though, so I want to just say it's not all, right, all medical. …
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): situations.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I don't know if you have the opportunity to find alternative relationships, whether it's practitioners who are, you know, because of course it takes resources, but sometimes people are willing to trade or do other things, right? For me.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): when I am treated that way around things that are…
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): like, I had a hyperthyroid issue, right? So it impacts all… most bodily systems.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): My doctor said something… similar, and I ended up going to different practitioners for a while to, like, get
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): just get a more trauma-informed approach, and a more holistic approach, and so… I…
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): struggle with this, because I don't know that the system which itself, like, engenders trauma upon doctors and nurses, you know? It's, like, asking so much for them to be trauma-informed. I wish they were, …
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): So yeah, I like that, Bonnie. Like, inside… inside, or asking for a different provider, or alternate care. And then…
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): The other thing that I do when I don't have that option, and I have to just go and meet with that person, they're the only one.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): You know, which also I've had, is I, like, really prepare myself, like, the blue bubble of light, or white bubble of light. I'm here to, like, I have my 20 questions, or whatever it is, written out, and, like, go through the questions. I get… try to get what I came for.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And then if they start going off on a judgment, or a tangent, or like a, you know, like, their opinion, like, excuse me, you know, I have this other question. Like, I just really try to direct so I'm not being moralized at or talked at.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): It's so hard. It's so vulnerable.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Oh, wow. Alda says, I tell my doctor, they're making money off my body, so care better be good. I'm not kidding, I tell them that to their face. A lot of places have a patient services office where I've gone to before to ask for better care. I love it! Thank you for sharing that! So direct!
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And clear.
Monica: Really, it's not just with one practitioner, I feel like it's been a story of my life.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Hmm….
Monica: And I'm finding it… and I appreciate the response, but I'm getting to that point where I don't have the energy to write to the manager or complain in that way, or I just don't go then, and it's just every single experience
Monica: In different departments, different hospitals, different whatever, is… like that.
Monica: And it just gets to a point where I'm just…
Monica: How can I continue to fight?
Monica: Or gather that strength to fight each time, because it is a battle each time.
Monica: How can I continue to find that energy from a very depleted… source.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Is there anyone who can come with you, or be a patient's advocate?
Monica: Yeah.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I don't have… because it doesn't sound to me like it's actually
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): best for you to have to utilize your life force to fight, right? Like, it's more for your care, so having someone else take on the fight, help with the fight.
Monica: Yeah, that's a good idea.
Monica: Thank you, everyone. I'm not expecting, like, actual, like, just… it's just… yeah, I suppose.
Monica: Thank you for listening.
Bonnie@YogaConnexus: Yeah, of course, and it's… I do this all the time for my envy, you know, with autism and ADHD, they struggle with this all the time, and, you know, we had an amazing win last night where they actually advocated for themselves and got the appointment that they needed, and…
Bonnie@YogaConnexus: And I didn't have to step in for the first time in years, so it's a real thing to just need to have someone there to help you through it. So, I hope you can find that person, or maybe there is a medical system advocate, patient advocate that you could call upon for help.
Monica: Okay.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Thank you.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): So, my dear ones, I'm gonna be trauma-informed to myself and go and care for my family, my, …
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): my family that needs me now, and so I just want to thank you for taking this exploration of
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Of what it means to be trauma-informed, even in situations and conditions that aren't, and to honor
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): you know, that we're doing our best in the situations that we're in, and we're not gonna do it perfectly, and I think sometimes putting that title of trauma-informed, we think that we need to do it so, so perfect, or so great, or…
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And that's part of, actually, what this is as well, is unpacking that perfectionism, unpacking that expectation on ourselves, and not blaming ourselves for things that are systemic inequities or systemic, you know, stress.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): To me, that's a huge part of what it means to be trauma-informed, is to be like.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): this is not… like, I may be dealing with it, but it is not my fault, you know? It is not my…
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): shame, or I should not feel bad or guilty about this, because this is a system that is not serving us. It's not a me thing, it's a… it's a systemic thing, which doesn't mean I can't work to change it, right? Of course I can.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): But I don't need to personally feel the responsibility, so I wanted to bring that.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): That last piece in.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Then we'll close, taking a big stretch.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And hands come down, if they were up, or anywhere that you would like, meeting at your heart, maybe giving yourself a little care, a little rocking.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Hmm… And we'll close with an OM, Shanti, shanti, shanty, om, peace, peace, peace.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Breathing in… Full breath out.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And inhale to chant.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Shanti. Shanti.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Shanti…
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Thank you to each of you.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): See you soon.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Thanks, y'all.