WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.640 --> 00:00:13.929 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): But it's the holiday, or this time, like an auspicious time to celebrate wisdom, right wisdom, traditions, wisdom, those who bring us wisdom, our teachers. 2 00:00:14.310 --> 00:00:17.610 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): It's a time to celebrate and honor 3 00:00:18.270 --> 00:00:39.380 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): the wisdom within sacred texts as well. And so I thought, just as we start, maybe we could drop in the chat, something that has been guiding us or supporting us in our learning right recently, something that's been, you know, a place where we've been learning or supporting our learning. 4 00:00:40.910 --> 00:00:43.710 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): you can drop it in the chat or share out loud. 5 00:00:52.820 --> 00:00:54.230 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Hmm! 6 00:00:54.880 --> 00:00:57.489 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Improv class. Oh, how fun! 7 00:00:57.680 --> 00:01:00.525 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): That's cool, Tom! I love that. 8 00:01:01.790 --> 00:01:08.009 Tom Glaser he/him/his: There is so much wisdom in improv, it's so applicable to everyday life. It's amazing. 9 00:01:08.480 --> 00:01:09.120 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yeah. 10 00:01:09.480 --> 00:01:17.009 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): it's such a skill, right? Like the I. The only thing I know really is the principle of like, yes, and. 11 00:01:17.010 --> 00:01:18.250 Tom Glaser he/him/his: Yeah, exactly. 12 00:01:18.250 --> 00:01:23.750 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yeah, and how powerful it is to build on. Yes, and. 13 00:01:24.250 --> 00:01:26.800 Tom Glaser he/him/his: In the moment you have to really be in the moment. 14 00:01:26.800 --> 00:01:32.060 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yeah, yeah, thank you, Tom. 15 00:01:32.180 --> 00:01:40.259 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): slowing down ironically, not ironically. Teaching, leading, facilitating. Also, Bonnie, let me just check the 16 00:01:43.260 --> 00:01:46.180 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): things to make sure you are okay with me talking about? 17 00:01:48.090 --> 00:01:50.076 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yes, okay. 18 00:01:52.420 --> 00:02:00.749 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): You submitted a question that. And that's also like a call for support. This is exactly what this 19 00:02:01.510 --> 00:02:18.259 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): this is for. Like, please, we want to hear from one another, support one another. Build that that community. So I actually want to start with what you shared after we do just a little bit of a drop in. 20 00:02:19.490 --> 00:02:24.720 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and I want to share with you. So Bonnie's question, which I'll read in a moment is around. 21 00:02:24.840 --> 00:02:28.780 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): No kings like Yoga and social justice event. 22 00:02:28.930 --> 00:02:53.079 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Someone in my community shared it with me like Susanna. Did you see this? This is so cool it's like, and then they shared it like, yes, this is amazing. You should totally go. Let's share it with all. You know, our whole community. And so it was just this beautiful, full circle moment where? Because Bonnie, just sharing transparently and for for anyone else who's ever had this feeling, I was like, oh, well, should have thought of that. 23 00:02:54.010 --> 00:03:23.629 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): But what's also funny is you've been sharing about how you've been doing this for months and months and months. This isn't, you know, and this is the truth of all these things. It's never just like the overnight, you know. Success. It's like a lot of deep work put in. And after that thought came, my next thought was like, No, actually like this is the perfect like, Receive. I can go to that I can, you know, support right like I can be a part of it, but not in like. 24 00:03:23.630 --> 00:03:36.210 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): like, we don't all have to do everything. And so I just, I wanted to share that also for context, to celebrate you. And how much impact you're you're having and how you know 25 00:03:36.300 --> 00:03:50.519 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): for all of us whether our work is like shared on a national scale, or it's rippling to a community of 2, 1, 5, you know, it's really, really impactful. And we're here to support each other with 26 00:03:50.920 --> 00:03:54.130 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): all that we need, all the things that go into holding that. 27 00:03:55.780 --> 00:04:01.410 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yeah, I've had a lot of learning with listening 28 00:04:01.530 --> 00:04:03.819 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): lately. So I'll also share that 29 00:04:04.330 --> 00:04:09.290 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Caitlin spiritual spaces. Yoga, meditation, magic ritual groups. 30 00:04:11.090 --> 00:04:13.129 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Perfect a little slowing down. 31 00:04:13.460 --> 00:04:14.330 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yeah. 32 00:04:15.510 --> 00:04:24.229 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Okay, so let's take a moment and drop in together. 33 00:04:25.040 --> 00:04:26.390 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Hmm! 34 00:04:27.420 --> 00:04:35.110 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): We have this like really really beautiful time of 35 00:04:35.610 --> 00:04:41.030 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): acknowledging and connecting to the Guru the Guru principle. 36 00:04:41.270 --> 00:04:56.290 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And so to do that I want to just invite you to take a shape. Or maybe it's like a movement right? It might not be still, but a shape that embodies openness, like open-mindedness, open to receive 37 00:04:56.690 --> 00:05:02.570 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): because the truth of being in relationship with Guru, whether it's internal 38 00:05:02.730 --> 00:05:08.229 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): or external is, we have to be ready to receive the teaching. 39 00:05:08.730 --> 00:05:16.030 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): If we're not open and ready, you could have you know, those stories of like the Buddha going and sharing 40 00:05:16.520 --> 00:05:36.610 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): with deep, profound wisdom that many of us would probably just be like, I'd love to have been there. And it just doesn't land because we're not in readiness. And so for me often, that's like I'm putting my hands up kind of cactus, or it might be like laying back, you know, a little more receptive, open, open heart. 41 00:05:37.088 --> 00:05:46.649 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): For some of us being open might also mean tending, you know, so checking in to yourself of what what allows you to be 42 00:05:46.760 --> 00:05:48.200 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): to be open? 43 00:05:48.320 --> 00:05:49.240 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): 2. 44 00:05:49.780 --> 00:05:51.750 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): The Guru to learning. 45 00:05:53.380 --> 00:05:54.320 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Hmm! 46 00:05:55.390 --> 00:06:00.269 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Deep breath in and full breath out. 47 00:06:26.460 --> 00:06:36.339 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): we can begin to let our minds focus on a simple mantra of soul. Hum! 48 00:06:36.710 --> 00:06:46.440 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Inhaling soul, exhaling hum, so 49 00:07:49.940 --> 00:07:54.950 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): So you can keep your arms where they are. Release them down. 50 00:07:55.430 --> 00:08:01.659 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): We'll chant one of the mantras particularly connected to 51 00:08:02.500 --> 00:08:06.920 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): being open to learning open to receiving wisdom and truth. 52 00:08:08.150 --> 00:08:14.409 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): One of the deep, true seekers 53 00:08:14.570 --> 00:08:17.309 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): prayer, right? It's like our sense 54 00:08:17.440 --> 00:08:27.300 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): acknowledgement of our sense of limitation, right and and kind of a invitation or prayer to 55 00:08:28.780 --> 00:08:35.190 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): to receive help, to receive support, to be open to the the Guru, to wisdom. 56 00:08:35.909 --> 00:08:40.179 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and I'll put it in the chat 57 00:08:40.880 --> 00:08:45.520 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): case anyone wants to to chant it as well. 58 00:08:47.880 --> 00:08:51.089 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): You can chant aloud or receive. 59 00:08:52.940 --> 00:08:56.750 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): We'll take a deep breath in and a full breath out. 60 00:09:04.680 --> 00:09:08.430 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and then inhale with Om. To begin. 61 00:09:09.880 --> 00:09:30.499 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Oh, asatoma satir gamaya! 62 00:09:31.720 --> 00:09:43.590 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Oh, santi shanti Shanti! 63 00:09:44.730 --> 00:09:57.599 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Lead me from untruth to truth, from ignorance to insight, from death, to immortality, from ignorance to knowledge. 64 00:09:57.810 --> 00:10:00.319 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): home, peace, peace, peace, peace, peace! 65 00:10:02.380 --> 00:10:06.560 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): When you're ready, gently bowing. 66 00:10:10.420 --> 00:10:18.299 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and we'll take a moment to look around us to notice form and color and shape. 67 00:10:22.710 --> 00:10:31.069 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And taking a moment to just reflect on who or what has been 68 00:10:31.220 --> 00:10:41.839 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): wisdom, right? A bringer of wisdom and knowledge for you so like what has been. 69 00:10:42.700 --> 00:10:53.170 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): or who has been, a guru, a teacher, right? Not just, necessarily external, but also inner inner knowing inner 70 00:10:53.630 --> 00:10:55.460 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): guru, inner teaching 71 00:10:56.890 --> 00:11:11.729 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and interesting to explore like. And I put this in the chat in form or formlessness, right? Sometimes it is a person, or it is a text, or is teaching. And then sometimes it's like. 72 00:11:12.540 --> 00:11:33.239 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Oh, I've been really frustrated and really grumpy in this situation. Right? The formless knowing like. Oh, there's a lesson for me here right, which no one like. I'm not saying. We try to tell other people what the lessons are, and sometimes we're not willing or ready to to be open to those lessons, only we get to decide that. 73 00:11:33.560 --> 00:11:34.390 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): So 74 00:11:35.620 --> 00:11:41.180 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): So, taking a moment just to reflect, we'll just take a minute or 2, and then we'll 75 00:11:41.520 --> 00:11:44.430 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): we'll begin like chatting and talking. 76 00:11:44.690 --> 00:11:49.790 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): So reflection on the Guru, on Guru within Guru all around. 77 00:13:35.020 --> 00:13:45.689 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): You might, if you would like, take a moment to just call to mind some of your teachers or people who've been supportive guides for you 78 00:13:47.340 --> 00:13:50.919 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): bring to mind their names, maybe writing them down. 79 00:13:53.820 --> 00:13:58.830 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): wishing them well or honoring them in your in your mind side and in your heart. 80 00:14:16.400 --> 00:14:23.590 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): It's really incredible to be born at a time, to be living at a time where we have access to these teachings 81 00:14:24.160 --> 00:14:33.585 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and where there are teachers right like, where we ourselves may be teachers and and being clear. 82 00:14:34.190 --> 00:15:02.770 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I think of a guru like there's kind of the colloquial use of it. And then, like the app, the like big S self and the small S self. So the big S self is like a realized being, and so I do not see myself as a Guru in that sense, right? And then there's a way that, like a Guru is a teacher and and so in that big realized definition, I definitely don't don't see myself that way. I think I've had. 83 00:15:03.660 --> 00:15:05.840 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I've been lucky to have some 84 00:15:05.950 --> 00:15:09.860 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): teachers who have been realized beings in some form. 85 00:15:09.980 --> 00:15:12.519 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and I'm very grateful to them. 86 00:15:13.160 --> 00:15:27.800 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and and I also want to acknowledge that that's rare. And so there can be like a kind of grief or kind of suffering or challenge also around Guru Purnama, and a complexity. 87 00:15:27.950 --> 00:15:41.113 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and then, on the understanding of Guru as like teacher, right? Which is a bit more, you know. Not so capital as self. It's more like, okay, we're all teachers of something, and students of something as well. 88 00:15:41.940 --> 00:16:08.919 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): acknowledging that relationship, maybe, with our students. Or if we have other teachers who we recognize. But you know, even if they're not fully realized beings, which is probably most people. And so part of it is having discernment right? Having the discernment to know our relationships and our role, too, and the ways that we are moving as teachers. 89 00:16:09.760 --> 00:16:14.590 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And there is a relationship there between 90 00:16:14.940 --> 00:16:21.199 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): between teacher and student, you know, and for us as teachers to continually be willing to open and to learn. 91 00:16:21.680 --> 00:16:46.041 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and then acknowledging also, just in the year, like where this falls. It's a full moon time, and it's usually like one of the 1st full moons of the monsoon season. So it's a time in South Asia and India particularly where you're inside. Right? You're not. You're not as much out in the world. It's different than in the West, where it's like summer. And people are traveling. And you know, 92 00:16:46.830 --> 00:16:51.759 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): So just having having that awareness, it's also an interfaith 93 00:16:51.940 --> 00:17:01.900 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): holiday, or like holidays like the wrong word, an interfaith commemoration in Buddhist 94 00:17:02.230 --> 00:17:10.349 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): practice and culture. Jain, Sikh Hindus as well, and then as well as 95 00:17:10.420 --> 00:17:32.580 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): kind of like Pan Vedic, meaning. Not necessarily. It doesn't have to even belong to anyone. One religion or any particular religion, but it's a time of like drawing inwards and continuing to plant seeds. So it's an interesting moment in our culture, because I do feel like the summer. We can kind of be outside of ourselves, and more like 96 00:17:32.750 --> 00:17:44.670 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): in a way consuming or consuming experiences. But in in South Asia right now. It's a time of like turning inward, and reflection and cultivating knowledge and learning. 97 00:17:45.440 --> 00:17:54.120 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): honoring that within us so pause for a moment to invite in any shares before we move to our 98 00:17:55.375 --> 00:17:56.240 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): questions. 99 00:17:56.730 --> 00:17:59.630 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Any thoughts or reflections that want to be shared. 100 00:18:11.240 --> 00:18:17.909 Tom Glaser he/him/his: I could say a couple of things. What 1st came to mind, Susanna, when you 1st presented this prompt was 101 00:18:18.670 --> 00:18:30.289 Tom Glaser he/him/his: like my paternal grandmother and my 5th grade teacher, people who were really kind, and I just learned so much from them. And then pretty quickly, I was like, Oh, wait! 102 00:18:30.680 --> 00:18:34.519 Tom Glaser he/him/his: I've also learned so much from people who weren't so kind to me. 103 00:18:34.790 --> 00:18:46.569 Tom Glaser he/him/his: and in like like ways that I'm not going to do it that way that can be really powerful like negative. I guess you'd say role models. Not that I love that, you know. Judgmental sound of that term, but 104 00:18:46.790 --> 00:18:56.359 Tom Glaser he/him/his: you know, like even trauma trauma. My trauma has been my teacher, and I wouldn't wish trauma on anyone yet. 105 00:18:58.540 --> 00:19:03.859 Tom Glaser he/him/his: Trauma has transformed me and and informs my work in the way I am in the world. 106 00:19:08.870 --> 00:19:10.140 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Thank you, Tom. 107 00:19:11.130 --> 00:19:15.040 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): You're making me think of how thich Nhat Han used to say, like. 108 00:19:15.210 --> 00:19:26.599 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I wouldn't wish my children, and you know he didn't have kids. He was a monastic, but we were like all his children, said he would say, I wouldn't wish that my children would live in a world with no suffering. 109 00:19:27.360 --> 00:19:41.109 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And it's because I think exactly what you're saying like from the challenges in our lives. Not that we ever wish those challenges on ourselves or anyone else, but we really can grow. And 110 00:19:41.370 --> 00:19:50.669 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and so it is this kind of like, I think of it in Yogic terms, like Spanda, right, like expansion, contraction, expansion, contraction. There's a way that we can cut 111 00:19:51.280 --> 00:19:53.829 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): almost like see it as energy 112 00:19:54.270 --> 00:20:01.210 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and the energy of the universe doing this, you know. And and this is the tricky part about 113 00:20:03.190 --> 00:20:23.809 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): the Yoga Sutras, and and particularly the teaching on Paragahan, on detachment, is sometimes people can take that to mean like, don't be politically involved, or don't stand up to injustice, but it's like No, it's more just detach from this. Enough that you can then take the next right action. So I just so appreciate 114 00:20:25.560 --> 00:20:43.129 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): what you're sharing and the trickiness of like when my friend comes to me in suffering, I can't be like, Oh, this is your teacher, because no one can tell anyone else that we have to come to it on our own. And we might never. And that's okay. 115 00:20:44.120 --> 00:20:48.240 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yeah, thank you, Tom. And I'm looking at 116 00:20:48.550 --> 00:21:01.600 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): the chat. Bonnie letting go is usually my inner guru, even though I rarely acknowledge it until it's happened. I happen to be wrapping up a major project right now. It's helping me distill what to maintain what to let go of, so that I can create. 117 00:21:02.130 --> 00:21:03.949 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yeah, beautiful 118 00:21:04.210 --> 00:21:23.859 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Abbey nature and the earth came up for me as a teacher, especially recently learning a lot from the cycles. I'm bearing witness to moon cycles, gardening and plant life, amount of sunlight, and allowing these cycles to be teachers about the cycles that exist in me, and are in alignment with these broader cycles so beautiful. 119 00:21:24.850 --> 00:21:25.830 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Wow! 120 00:21:28.610 --> 00:21:50.459 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Shabara, my sons, Michael and William, are my Daily Mirror and my fiercest truth. Here my gurus, not despite being young, but because of it. Yes, and how old are they? Can you share in the in the chat? My kiddo is definitely being a big guru to me right now we're fighting fighting, you know, a lot more arguing. And this weekend I was actually going to share this 121 00:21:50.700 --> 00:21:52.699 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): because it was such a teaching. 122 00:21:53.200 --> 00:22:17.749 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): You know, he was like, we're going to fight more as I become a teenager like, no, we don't have to fight. And then I was realizing, like, maybe we do, actually, but we don't have to stay disconnected, you know, we can fight. And so we ended up sitting down for like an hour outside under a tree, and he was like, let's think about why we're fighting and what's underneath it, and like how we can both change 123 00:22:18.086 --> 00:22:24.819 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): to. And so we did, you know, and one of the Ahas that came from it for for him was 124 00:22:24.990 --> 00:22:50.676 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): that he could. He came to a fundraiser for Palestine that I did, and just wasn't in the vibe like he was distracted. And you know. So I had to be like, Hey, do you understand what we're doing, you know, like, why we're here and and he felt so bad, and then felt like, I don't want you to not trust me, and and I also want to be supportive. But like he's 12, he was distracted, you know, and 125 00:22:51.240 --> 00:22:56.470 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and so he's like, Okay, I can come into things with a more open mind, it's like, Wow! 126 00:22:57.320 --> 00:23:10.210 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): How many of us could bear to like have that? Aha! About ourselves? I can come into this with a more open mind, you know. And so what a great learning and opportunity to like. 127 00:23:10.430 --> 00:23:11.460 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): you know. 128 00:23:11.900 --> 00:23:17.540 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Own my mistakes, too. And allow space for growth. 129 00:23:18.530 --> 00:23:21.280 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Caitlin. I think I saw your your hand. 130 00:23:22.950 --> 00:23:30.719 Caitlin (she/they): I did, but I'll just go quickly. I'm really inspired by all the shares, including this about like 131 00:23:30.900 --> 00:23:43.270 Caitlin (she/they): fighting or arguing. I've often I spent many years in Sweden where they don't really do any of that. They just shut down emotionally, and coming back to the Us. And seeing people like arguing and 132 00:23:43.430 --> 00:24:05.540 Caitlin (she/they): noticing my own like. And so, my teachers, what I wrote down 1st that came to me was like the weather, like at large, also about like climate change and about how to manage. Sometimes the heat, it would be irritating. So it's like, how can I learn from how to manage my own emotions, and then, like my anxieties, my emotions. Kind of what Tom was saying to like traumas like. 133 00:24:05.700 --> 00:24:06.409 Caitlin (she/they): and 134 00:24:08.590 --> 00:24:31.909 Caitlin (she/they): yeah, like learning to just listen on a deeper level and like, not internalize everything, even like a fight or an argument that I'm having with someone. Or if I'm witnessing it happening, it's like, No, it's okay to argue. That's been like a lesson I've been getting a lot recently is even like it's actually really natural to like disagree. And but avoiding taking care of. That is 135 00:24:32.040 --> 00:24:35.480 Caitlin (she/they): often where we'll 136 00:24:35.990 --> 00:24:47.720 Caitlin (she/they): where it doesn't become like the learning lesson. Right? We don't get to the other side of it. So I'm just. I'm really resonating with a lot of what people are saying, and I felt for just sharing about it. So thank you for that space. 137 00:24:51.070 --> 00:24:52.920 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Thank you so much. 138 00:24:56.550 --> 00:25:15.299 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yeah, I so appreciate it. Oh, and I realized, I just realized I'm rereading the question that you gave Bonnie, and I'll read it right now. This already happened, but we could still talk about it. So can I read your question, and then, you know, you can maybe share more. 139 00:25:15.380 --> 00:25:39.790 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): So this is, and I'm sorry we didn't see it. I didn't see it in time to offer the support but and we can continue to support. So this is a plea more of a plea for help from the Ycc. Community. I signed up to host a virtual radical rest, zoom session to complement the No Kings actions across the country this weekend there are over 300 registrations, which is great, super amazing. 140 00:25:39.800 --> 00:25:48.390 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): However, I've noticed a switch in the signups today. Now we're approaching the event. They are sounding more like fake signups, or worse, from the opposition. 141 00:25:49.190 --> 00:26:11.980 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Oh, God! So tough! I've taken steps to protect the event and the participants. But I think I'm going to need some help with admitting folks moderating, etc. Yeah, if any of my fellow Yccs are interested, available then no Kings. Radical rest is scheduled for Saturday, June 14.th Starting at 4 Pm. 7 Pm. Pacific, 7. Eastern. No experience is necessary. It would be a great way to get a behind the scenes. Look at hosting virtual circles. 142 00:26:12.301 --> 00:26:28.680 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): In my head. It was like this Saturday, so I can't wait to hear about how it went. And also, yeah, it's so helpful to have a moderator like Julian is here to support, and is always letting folks in. It's hard to do both teach and let folks in, and 143 00:26:28.800 --> 00:26:38.609 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): if there's trolls kick them out, you know. So how did it go? And how are you feeling, and what support can we offer you now? 144 00:26:39.250 --> 00:27:02.697 Bonnie@YogaConnexus: Thank you. It went really. Well. So that was one plea for help. I put out I there were others, and I got about 5 moderators to help out. So that went really well. In the end there were over 3,000 sign ups. 200 were total bad faith, like really obvious bad faith. One. So that was 145 00:27:03.380 --> 00:27:06.980 Bonnie@YogaConnexus: an interesting experience, just 146 00:27:06.980 --> 00:27:34.440 Bonnie@YogaConnexus: keeping a container. And it was mostly in the group indivisible, which I don't know if everybody's familiar with indivisible, but they were the main organizers of that. And so I went to one of their host. Support calls, and they said that you know the the opposition was kind of interfering with the sign ups and the organizing part, but they weren't really showing up to the actual events, and that was my experience as well that I mean it was a lot. I think 147 00:27:35.390 --> 00:27:57.630 Bonnie@YogaConnexus: we never went over 500, so I never actually needed to upgrade to the 1,000. But it was there if we did, because I think 700 people just checked in at some point and it was awesome to have, you know, 5 other people just saying, admit, or looking at the questionable ones and going, yeah, we're gonna wait on you and let everybody else in 148 00:27:58.072 --> 00:28:06.927 Bonnie@YogaConnexus: and then, yeah, I totally have to admit I was channeling my inner Susanna, hosting 400 people at once. 149 00:28:07.480 --> 00:28:29.730 Bonnie@YogaConnexus: It was like, thank you for modeling and all of your teaching, even like in the moment, like the big events that I've gone to with you. And yes, you too, Juliana. You know, just seeing how you and your moderators work together, and how you handled the crowd, and how you handled it, when, like the chat is scrolling a million miles a minute, and you cannot possibly respond to like 150 00:28:29.790 --> 00:28:54.790 Bonnie@YogaConnexus: every single thing happening in it. So the event went really well, really well, like 96% positive feedback. And I'm doing it again for good. Trouble lives on on the 17.th It's not attracting as much attention. I think it's not really a direct opposition to trump, especially not his birthday. So both 151 00:28:55.132 --> 00:29:06.919 Bonnie@YogaConnexus: you know, genuine participants and the opposition are all kind of a little more casual about it. So it's nice. I think it's going to be a smaller, more intimate event. And I'm I'm looking forward to that. So 152 00:29:07.060 --> 00:29:08.560 Bonnie@YogaConnexus: yes, thank you. 153 00:29:08.750 --> 00:29:15.139 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Thank you so much for sharing, and again sorry for missing your call for support. 154 00:29:16.180 --> 00:29:25.989 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I definitely you know some of the way I prep for those big things 155 00:29:26.110 --> 00:29:48.639 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): is by doing my own practice, and then like just kind of turning it over to the divine. And I also think, when you have that many people, it's sort of actually, in some weird way, easier, because you just kind of have to like, bring and generate your own energy. Because you're not. It's different than like what we're doing here, where we can really talk and like. 156 00:29:49.220 --> 00:29:53.810 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And I do try to read some of the chat like I'm sure you probably did. 157 00:29:54.040 --> 00:30:20.130 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): But you can't. You can't really respond to everyone. And so you kind of just have to like, give a vibe give an experience right? And then, take whatever learnings like. I sometimes go back and study all of the things people wrote later. And then the other weird thing is like I've had workshops where, like 3, 4, 5,000 people show up. I've never needed to go over my 500 person limit on zoom 158 00:30:20.160 --> 00:30:38.537 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): ever it just like people don't show up, live, and it's good in a way, because it costs a lot of money to bump it up so just naming, and I have before in the like a few years ago, bumped it up and then be like, oh, that was a waste of money, you know. 159 00:30:39.710 --> 00:30:47.803 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): so there's some logistics there and then, having moderators. Having people to help is so useful. 160 00:30:48.770 --> 00:30:50.429 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and I'm curious. 161 00:30:51.900 --> 00:30:59.830 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yeah, I'm curious, like what what you felt like people 162 00:31:00.240 --> 00:31:12.960 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): needed or wanted. And yeah, like how it felt to serve in that way, right? Because it's amazing to show up and offer some of these tools in that context and activist context. 163 00:31:13.230 --> 00:31:33.169 Bonnie@YogaConnexus: Yeah. You know, people wanted a way to be involved and to feel like they were fighting back, even if they couldn't go to a rally, or if they did go to a rally to integrate and settle. So yeah, there were the people who, either for physical limitations, neurodivergent limitations just can't go to a rally 164 00:31:33.517 --> 00:31:47.049 Bonnie@YogaConnexus: and then, like there's like one of my clients, is the executive director of a fairly progressive nonprofit in a really conservative town, and so like. She can't go to rallies because it will cause all kinds of like. 165 00:31:47.460 --> 00:32:02.139 Bonnie@YogaConnexus: even though she is within her rights to do so, it would still generate all kinds of complaints about her nonprofit being politically involved. So there's so many reasons why people can't go to a rally. But they really wanted to 166 00:32:02.910 --> 00:32:27.153 Bonnie@YogaConnexus: be involved and feel connected, and I think that was really what you know, even meeting together on zoom provides cause sometimes rallies, I mean I still, I went to my local rally, too. I intentionally did this in the evening. And I went to my local rally, and I shouted my head off and my kiddo picked up someone else's megaphone and started chants. I couldn't believe it. 167 00:32:28.294 --> 00:32:37.555 Bonnie@YogaConnexus: I know, Miss mixed neurodivergent, shy, autistic. Adhd grab the megaphone was like, I know what to do. 168 00:32:38.898 --> 00:32:40.901 Bonnie@YogaConnexus: It's pretty amazing. 169 00:32:42.070 --> 00:32:55.020 Bonnie@YogaConnexus: you know. But there's not necessarily that connection. And even though we talked to people, Ami signed up for Newsletter lists. It wasn't the same as kind of gathering with like-minded people and and sharing a practice. So 170 00:32:55.210 --> 00:32:57.400 Bonnie@YogaConnexus: that was also, I think. 171 00:32:57.800 --> 00:33:08.466 Bonnie@YogaConnexus: what people are looking for, and I keep repeating how you know. At this point in the last trump administration I was totally burnt out. I didn't even know what to do next. And 172 00:33:09.280 --> 00:33:29.069 Bonnie@YogaConnexus: did really diving in and and expanding my yoga and social justice offerings is, I'm like, I'm just at the beginning. I'm like. Oh, I was like, Oh, I'm sorry I missed it. I'm like, Oh, don't worry. We got along 4 years ahead of us, and then we got to fix everything that happens that we, you know, we couldn't stop. So yeah. 173 00:33:29.650 --> 00:33:32.100 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): That's really beautiful. Yeah. 174 00:33:32.540 --> 00:33:39.598 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And there's something, too, to being plugged into organizations, right? For those particularly who are feeling 175 00:33:40.140 --> 00:34:07.399 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): like, I think a lot of people actually feel like they aren't sure where to go, or if they can protest, or if that's even how they want to use their energy, but connecting to organizations that we feel related to in some way, you know, and in La. That for me is a lot of immigrant rights organizations right now, indivisible is great working families party. None of these orgs are without complexities or contradictions or problems, right? Like, just 176 00:34:07.960 --> 00:34:17.099 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): gotta say that. And at moments like this. It can also be a helpful protection or support, you know. So. 177 00:34:17.340 --> 00:34:30.310 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): looking for those locally nationally for those who who are wanting to be more involved. And then in this case, I wonder? I mean, I don't know, because it sounds like 178 00:34:30.510 --> 00:34:50.859 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): it was part of that sort of sign up to host a thing I don't know if you can ask them for more support. If ever like. You didn't have the support from the community, Bonnie, or or any of us, but hopefully, at least, we can try asking the orgs that we're connected to, you know, for for support as well. 179 00:34:51.517 --> 00:35:11.339 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Oh, and I'm seeing your note 1,500 to actually 2 different subscriptions. So you can't just upgrade. So you have to like set it ahead of time. It sounds like the other thing you can do, which back in the day I ran a Yoga Social Justice challenge, and I think what I said to be, I said, you can go from Zoom. Live on. 180 00:35:11.460 --> 00:35:13.039 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Can I still do that? 181 00:35:13.640 --> 00:35:17.459 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Oh, I don't think I oh, live stream! Yes. 182 00:35:17.580 --> 00:35:32.199 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): so I'm not gonna be able to show you my tools. But you can live stream on Facebook Youtube twitch or a custom streaming service, at least with the the kind of Zoom. I have not sure if everyone's and 183 00:35:32.890 --> 00:35:39.028 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I would live stream to Youtube so that way anyone could watch, even if they didn't have 184 00:35:39.570 --> 00:35:52.739 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): they weren't able to get into the zoom room. So you don't have to upgrade. If you're ever in that that position. It's a weird position to be in Youtube and Facebook helpful for people on low Wi-fi, yeah. 185 00:35:54.090 --> 00:36:04.720 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): anything else on that or or other questions? Things that are coming up right like that's part of what our office hours are here for is supporting one another with Yoga, and daily life 186 00:36:04.920 --> 00:36:12.809 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): doesn't have to even directly be like Yoga related. It can just be something that you want to bring a yogic perspective to. 187 00:36:49.310 --> 00:37:10.380 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yeah, I'm glad, Bonnie, and then also just knowing one of the things. So one of the bigger classes I've ever held was in person, and it was in the park at in Florida, and it was after or like during kind of a farmer's market right was every Sunday morning the farmers market ran. I think it was like 10 or 11 till 188 00:37:10.480 --> 00:37:37.269 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): 2 or 3, and so we would host a Yoga class from 10 to 11 at its biggest point. I think we had a thousand people show up for this class on the grass, you know, on the green in the Park, and the way that we worked with that is, we had a rotating like there was a main organizer right who kind of liaised with the, and it wasn't me who liaised with the city and did all the things. And then 189 00:37:37.350 --> 00:37:41.260 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): we had a a teaching team and 190 00:37:41.780 --> 00:37:57.209 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): support team right. So we would like one week. It might be me teaching, and then the other people is like 10 people or 5, you know, fluctuated in size, but the other people would be there to just kind of like, hold the perimeter right? Maybe someone's demoing. Maybe someone's. 191 00:37:57.460 --> 00:38:07.739 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): you know, just kind of making sure everything's going okay. And we would rotate. Which was amazing, because it's a lot to hold that kind of space 192 00:38:08.520 --> 00:38:25.849 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): in a energetically. And then also, physically. And so it was also really cool for the practitioners to practice with over the years. It was probably, like again, like about total 10 of us on any given week. It was usually maybe 5 that showed up. But that is something 193 00:38:25.900 --> 00:38:51.000 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): for you to consider like, who are the folks who you might want to be like, can I tag team you in, you know. Can you like come, hold space, or just be. Here's the schedule. Here's what I'm thinking. Come when you can. Would you ever like to teach a portion of it? You know you don't have to do that. Nothing says you have to. But if you're like, oh, this would make it more fun, more sustainable. I know that it did for me. Now I will say the online things that I do. 194 00:38:52.660 --> 00:38:54.319 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I don't. 195 00:38:54.450 --> 00:38:58.770 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I don't personally, right now. I haven't felt like I've needed 196 00:38:58.910 --> 00:39:20.499 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): that for the public things, but I also do them like maybe 2 or 3 times a year, not not as frequently as once a month. If I was doing them once a month, I would have other people help hold space, and all of the deeper trainings like Yoga teacher trainings the Yoga Social justice certification, right, Yoga trauma informed social justice, certification. The 197 00:39:20.680 --> 00:39:35.989 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I'm working on a yoga therapy training. Like all of those things, I always have other facilitators. I really am a big believer in collaboration and mutual kind of leadership and learning, because 198 00:39:37.080 --> 00:40:02.309 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): it's just. I think it makes for a better experience overall. And honestly, it's just more fun to do things with others, so just offering that, as things to to explore and to bring and ask people in your various communities if you do want want even just like, Hey, can you be like? I think of it as like a street team like, can you be there to just kind of show up and like, Help me bring the vibe that I want? 199 00:40:07.050 --> 00:40:10.020 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yeah, any other 200 00:40:10.630 --> 00:40:17.759 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): questions, things coming up, reflections. I, of course, always have plans and things we can do. But 201 00:40:17.980 --> 00:40:20.130 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I want to leave space for you all. 202 00:40:25.570 --> 00:40:32.128 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Hmm, yes, Raphael, thank you for that question. 203 00:40:32.850 --> 00:40:44.570 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I'll go into that in just a moment. I just want to leave space to see, because this is gonna be a whole deep conversation. So just anything else that wants to come come through. 204 00:40:48.430 --> 00:40:50.560 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and I want to check with 205 00:40:51.390 --> 00:41:04.860 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): wait cause. I know we got to touch Base last a couple of weeks ago, just to see how things are going with you, or if you want to share in the chat or if there's anything 206 00:41:05.370 --> 00:41:10.879 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): that's feeling, you know on your heart or mind, want to just create that space. 207 00:41:12.970 --> 00:41:15.730 Wade Benally: Hey? Good afternoon, everybody. 208 00:41:18.100 --> 00:41:26.349 Wade Benally: Let's see. I I'm settling with this feeling of like what happens when, like everything. 209 00:41:26.750 --> 00:41:31.200 Wade Benally: it feels like everything's falling apart around you, and then, like 210 00:41:31.660 --> 00:41:40.970 Wade Benally: you kind of like, have to let it. And like, still realize, like you're here, you know. I 211 00:41:41.310 --> 00:42:03.849 Wade Benally: have been going through a lot in terms of my capacity, and all of the things that I caretake at home with my family in the land, and like all all of the stuff here. But I am realizing, like, yeah, there's only so much I can do. And 212 00:42:04.650 --> 00:42:06.509 Wade Benally: that's really like 213 00:42:06.790 --> 00:42:15.829 Wade Benally: you were you were talking about like the thing about teachers earlier. And I was thinking about how the animals are my teachers. And also sometimes like 214 00:42:16.320 --> 00:42:17.910 Wade Benally: they're teachers that, like 215 00:42:18.150 --> 00:42:38.870 Wade Benally: you have to have boundaries, and with and and learn like to take care of yourself. Otherwise you're not able to care for them, and like also, like traumatized elders, or sometimes some of my biggest teachers, and like setting boundaries with with them. And I think coming back to this practice and being able to 216 00:42:40.590 --> 00:42:52.950 Wade Benally: touch in with my nervous system, and just like take time to breathe, is giving me the capacity to be able to handle things even when it feels like 217 00:42:53.470 --> 00:42:59.020 Wade Benally: like things are not going as I planned or like it. It 218 00:42:59.300 --> 00:43:18.260 Wade Benally: maybe like it's there's so much that needs to be done and like I can't do it all, but like I am here, and I'm like breathing. And I'm realizing like there's still time and space, even in spite of everything to like, carve out time, enjoy. And like. 219 00:43:19.100 --> 00:43:35.839 Wade Benally: yeah, and definitely like touching base with my nervous system and my breath and my body, and like coming into my body, and like allowing myself to grieve, allowing myself to even like shake if I need to and like, do these things. It like 220 00:43:35.980 --> 00:43:47.179 Wade Benally: helps me land in this place where it's like, okay, this is where we're at. Now. What's the next step I take, instead of feeling like, I'm just gonna like, curl it in a ball and like 221 00:43:47.290 --> 00:43:51.834 Wade Benally: freak out or like, feel like I can't handle it. 222 00:43:52.460 --> 00:43:57.000 Wade Benally: I yeah, that that's a lot. But that's 223 00:43:57.250 --> 00:44:05.340 Wade Benally: kind of how I am. And I I feel like even just being able to check in last week and like telling myself like this time, this space like 224 00:44:05.450 --> 00:44:12.239 Wade Benally: this, you know, like these these times together, like prioritizing that. 225 00:44:12.671 --> 00:44:20.280 Wade Benally: It's like giving me the energy that I need to, even though it's like seems like, oh, I don't have time to do this, and it's like. 226 00:44:20.510 --> 00:44:26.829 Wade Benally: no like you. You always have to have like time to breathe. Yeah. 227 00:44:31.600 --> 00:44:34.510 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Thank you. Thank you for sharing. 228 00:44:35.880 --> 00:44:52.090 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I just had a call I just want to like. Relate so deeply with 2 friends that for the last 2 like year and a half. We check in every Wednesday morning on each other, and like our self care practices. And this morning we were like, oh. 229 00:44:52.530 --> 00:45:12.119 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): boundaries! Brahmacharya, how much you know we're still. And we're in our forties and fifties like how much we're still learning how to do that. So we're like this check-in needs to be self-care and boundaries, you know, Brahmacharya, like, let's check in on our practices, and how that's going. And 230 00:45:14.880 --> 00:45:19.669 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): so just really like supporting you and acknowledging you and 231 00:45:20.306 --> 00:45:39.129 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): celebrating to like the time and the space, and also inviting in for you or for anyone else who this is true, for, like what are the what are the other spaces, the people, the friends, the community that that can honor, that with you and hold that with you and support you, you know. 232 00:45:40.270 --> 00:45:43.470 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): So naming that, too. And thank you, Wade. 233 00:45:47.160 --> 00:45:53.719 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Okay, when I go into Raphael's question, do you want to share it out loud, or do you want me to read it? 234 00:46:08.460 --> 00:46:12.010 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): You can read it. No problem. Okay, totally understand? 235 00:46:12.510 --> 00:46:38.060 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): So a question regarding Kundalini Yogi Bhajan style, it's a practice that has changed my life. But there are many issues, as you probably know, and it's okay. Folks don't know. But there are major abuse claims like multiple forms of abuse about Yogi Bajan himself, about the authenticity of the practice, about cultural appropriation of Sikhism. I'd love to hear your thoughts on it. 236 00:46:38.150 --> 00:46:45.070 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yeah. So just for context, I this week 237 00:46:45.230 --> 00:46:54.609 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): in the Ytt 300. And this is why I'm like sharing this zoomed out view. And I'll share my screen. We went over 238 00:46:55.820 --> 00:46:57.280 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yoga ethics. 239 00:46:57.470 --> 00:47:00.576 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And it was we had an hour. 240 00:47:01.450 --> 00:47:03.839 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And it basically says. 241 00:47:04.030 --> 00:47:16.250 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): like, we have our yamas and yamas. But sometimes we need to spell it out more fully, right, more clearly. And the reason I bring this up is because without 242 00:47:16.420 --> 00:47:18.340 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): these things spelled out 243 00:47:19.300 --> 00:47:25.769 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): it's very easy. And even with them spelled out, it's very easy for there to be violations and harm 244 00:47:27.510 --> 00:47:35.369 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And the reason I bring this in, so I'm not gonna sorry I'm gonna now scroll through but it's like, in addition, kind of what I just said, 245 00:47:36.610 --> 00:47:42.690 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): okay, so honoring yoga's roots, caring for being a learner. 246 00:47:44.016 --> 00:47:49.430 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yeah. So the reason I'm starting here is like 247 00:47:50.370 --> 00:47:57.610 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): breakdown for me is an invitation into what values are 248 00:47:59.250 --> 00:48:03.619 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): not being honored. And then how I want to 249 00:48:03.760 --> 00:48:10.619 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): honor them in myself and in the communities that I'm in. So when I think about. 250 00:48:11.390 --> 00:48:17.119 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): because Yogi Bhajan is one of many, many in many different Yoga lineages 251 00:48:17.560 --> 00:48:39.290 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): who have caused harm and who have violated Yoga ethics. And we can be like what I don't understand how someone who's supposed to practice these things does all of this. So there's 1 aspect of like understanding and then understanding why. But then also the next for me is, Well, what do I want to do about it. Right? So my personal, what do I want to do about it is okay. What 252 00:48:40.130 --> 00:48:43.949 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): are the specific values and ethics that I want to live by 253 00:48:44.260 --> 00:48:52.430 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): spelling them out, and when I share this with them, when I'm sharing with you, we can always edit change right like it's a work in progress. 254 00:48:53.000 --> 00:49:09.410 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): so part of it is the value of integrity valuing our knowledge services, and professional works as being for the benefit of those we serve right, not exploiting, not, you know, harming, vowing not to use them to manipulate or secure unfair personal advantage which he definitely did. 255 00:49:09.420 --> 00:49:23.119 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): maintaining constant professionalism and professionalism. We can problematize that word. That's a word really connected to white supremacy. So maybe just maintaining integrity in all matters official and personal, right 256 00:49:23.210 --> 00:49:37.610 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and scope of practice beyond here accountability, right? Making amends when mistakes are made. There's another part sharing. 257 00:49:39.180 --> 00:49:39.950 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yeah. 258 00:49:40.270 --> 00:49:41.470 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): So 259 00:49:41.730 --> 00:49:58.620 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I actually think it's really important to speak about these things like abuse in lineages, including lineages we've learned from, because although often it's centered around one person, not always. Sometimes it's multiple people. 260 00:49:58.750 --> 00:50:18.220 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Abuse happens in cultures that are hiding right hiding or protecting, or, you know, in some way like in relationship to that abuse so sharing about it is helpful in changing vicious cycles to virtuous cycles. So here it gets into the why 261 00:50:18.500 --> 00:50:28.380 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): so communities and individuals have faced power, dynamics, and abuse. Right? Yogabajan was in colonial and post-colonial India. 262 00:50:28.610 --> 00:50:33.079 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): There was a lot of trauma in his context 263 00:50:33.820 --> 00:50:42.639 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): that does not excuse his actions right? So acknowledging that the some spiritual teachers have histories of abuse, misconduct and cult-like behavior. 264 00:50:42.860 --> 00:51:07.469 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): We acknowledge right that there's been harm caused, and then transparency about that to foster cultures of openness instead of secrecy while committing to healing justice and avoiding carceral culture, meaning like, if someone in our peer group does something that's harmful, do we choose to just throw them away and say, oh, no, I can't ever work with that person or talk to that person again. Maybe right, there's no absolute here. 265 00:51:07.740 --> 00:51:11.421 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): or do we try to work with them right? And 266 00:51:11.940 --> 00:51:15.490 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And so yeah, let me stop sharing for a sec. 267 00:51:16.660 --> 00:51:36.909 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): So it's deep. It's very deep, and I will say, my Yoga lineage is Shankar Atariya lineage. My teacher is Shankarji. I don't know of any abuse claims within my particular yoga lineage which I'm grateful for. Also Thich nhat han 268 00:51:37.370 --> 00:51:46.220 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): kind of my meditation. Buddhist teacher also don't know of any abuse claims connected to thich nhat Han. Thank goodness. 269 00:51:46.830 --> 00:51:48.529 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): pretty much. Every 270 00:51:48.680 --> 00:51:57.489 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yoga school that is lineaged, there are abuse claims, if not the direct teacher, the teacher's teacher, right? More and more come out. 271 00:51:58.960 --> 00:52:15.429 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And so, instead of being like, Oh, no, I can't do this practice, or I can't, because there's abuse which is absolutely understandable for some of us depending on our positionality. So one, I just want to say, like no one gets to dictate anyone else's response. 272 00:52:15.570 --> 00:52:41.669 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Some of us might say, Oh, no, I'm throwing away that whole the whole thing because of the abuse I cannot be associated or connected, right, and others might say, well, I actually got a lot of value. I respect the the teachings and the benefit it's had for me, but I don't respect the teacher, and they've disqualified themselves from being named as a lineage holder or named as a teacher because of their actions that didn't uphold yoga ethics. 273 00:52:42.090 --> 00:52:56.150 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): You get to decide that no one else tells you right. But I will say from so, though my Yoga lineages have been fine. As far as I know, I'm not expecting that always stays true. My! I went to a high school 274 00:52:56.270 --> 00:53:11.480 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): public high school that looked at American culture through the lens of race class and gender and global culture through the lens of colonization and decolonization. That's part of why I can do what I do right. I've been in this since I was 15, went to college, came back and taught at that school. 275 00:53:11.640 --> 00:53:18.986 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): There were some major red flags. Some of the teachers who were teaching men who were teaching us about patriarchy and just 276 00:53:19.620 --> 00:53:41.060 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): content warning. I won't go into details, but for abuse of power and inappropriate, you know, conduct by adults towards children were like weirdly flirty with me as a student. Right? And so I'm now a young woman teaching. And there was all this breakdown of 277 00:53:41.670 --> 00:54:03.969 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): like wait, that is an abuse of power. Why is my boss asking me out? This is weird, you know I'm an adult, but this is, you know. And then, later, so recently, I testified in a couple Jane DOE cases for students against some of those people who had been my teachers, and then my colleagues so complex, and the choice I made 278 00:54:04.200 --> 00:54:24.880 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): was not to stay in relationship with the institution, although I got so much from it. I mean, I have to say, like I learned so much in that school context, but to stay in relationship with the survivors and support the survivors. Right? So I can be grateful for what I've learned, and then I can use. I left the school 279 00:54:25.270 --> 00:54:27.430 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): after like 5 or 6 years. 280 00:54:27.620 --> 00:54:39.750 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): because again, these things don't happen in isolation. I didn't know about any of it, but I just it was like the power dynamics were weird. And so I left. And that's actually, when I went to India to study Yoga more and got my Master's degree. 281 00:54:40.040 --> 00:55:06.899 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): But I bring all that in to say. I'm not a stranger to cult like dynamics or abusive, you know, behaviors or cultures. And the thing that has helped me was to have other people like colleagues who I could go to who I trusted to process and talk things through it to say, wow! Like it was so good we learned so much. And wow! That was so messed up, you know, and to be able to kind of like 282 00:55:06.980 --> 00:55:20.107 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): pull it apart and figure out what it was empowering for us and for others, you know. So that's a long, long answer. Yeah. Some of the teachers men. 283 00:55:20.760 --> 00:55:22.219 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): yes, Chavara. 284 00:55:22.540 --> 00:55:28.699 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): please. And also we might go on over a little, just honoring if anyone needs to leave but 285 00:55:28.970 --> 00:55:33.550 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): such an important question. So I just want to create the space for it. 286 00:55:33.550 --> 00:55:56.230 Chevara Orrin (she/her) (shuh-VAH-rah): I so appreciate the question. And, Susanna, I appreciate what you just shared. This question resonated with me, and it's tied back to the question that we had earlier around Guru, and kind of what's informed how we've shown up. And I shared before that I am the daughter of a 287 00:55:56.230 --> 00:56:19.240 Chevara Orrin (she/her) (shuh-VAH-rah): a white Jewish woman and a black father, that I am mixed race. My father is considered the father of voting rights for black people in the United States. He is the architect of the Birmingham Children's Crusade. He, Dr. King and Al Raby, were the architects of the work in Chicago. Around the open housing movement which directly led to the Open Housing Act of 1968, and my father 288 00:56:19.270 --> 00:56:49.270 Chevara Orrin (she/her) (shuh-VAH-rah): is directly responsible for the Civil Rights Act. He was the person who chose to put children on the front lines in Birmingham, which is what caused President Kennedy at the time to recognize that there was horror happening, and when he chose to do that everyone was against it. Dr. King, Ambassador Andrew, young John Lewis, they said, you've lost your mind. The language they used was pretty harsh, and he said, the only way that we can get freedom is to put children on the front lines, and as horrific as it was, he was right. 289 00:56:50.840 --> 00:57:08.000 Chevara Orrin (she/her) (shuh-VAH-rah): I vote as a black woman because of my father. I live in the community that I live in. I'm able to practice yoga at a studio with white people and other people because of my father, and my father is the perpetrator of my incest. When I was a 10 year old child 290 00:57:08.890 --> 00:57:34.109 Chevara Orrin (she/her) (shuh-VAH-rah): we had a and I certainly hold space for anyone else in our room today who who has similar experience. We had a year-long trial with my father several years ago, centered around one of my other sisters. I have a sister and a brother that I grew up with, raised by my white Jewish mother, and there are 17 of us, with about 12 mothers between us, and as 291 00:57:34.190 --> 00:57:51.689 Chevara Orrin (she/her) (shuh-VAH-rah): grown women, 5 of us discovered that we had been raped and molested by our father, and we ended up in this long trial. The Washington Post Magazine wrote a huge story about it. It was followed because of his prominence, and I really grappled with this for a very, very long time. 292 00:57:52.330 --> 00:58:04.850 Chevara Orrin (she/her) (shuh-VAH-rah): And and the reason I'm sharing this is I just. I love what you said a moment ago, Susanna. We cannot dictate how anybody chooses to show up, deal with, navigate 293 00:58:05.410 --> 00:58:13.020 Chevara Orrin (she/her) (shuh-VAH-rah): any instances of abuse, and it can be particularly challenging and complex when someone has also brought goodness into the world. 294 00:58:13.130 --> 00:58:37.620 Chevara Orrin (she/her) (shuh-VAH-rah): and what they brought has helped people one of the things that I remember at my father's funeral. He died of stage 4 pancreatic cancer 3 months after final sentencing. I'll be more than happy to share the articles if anyone's interested, and I certainly am open. If anyone wants to reach out to me later to talk about it. But what was really striking at his funeral. Many of us were there siblings, I mean children. 295 00:58:37.620 --> 00:59:02.259 Chevara Orrin (she/her) (shuh-VAH-rah): People stood up one after the other in the pulpit, talking about what an incredible, profound impact he had had on their lives. Minister Louis Farrakhan gave the eulogy. It was a 5 and a half hour funeral with, you know, leaders in the Civil rights movement there, and I remember at the time I was in early stages of healing through all of this thinking. I don't know this person that they're talking about. 296 00:59:03.240 --> 00:59:06.359 Chevara Orrin (she/her) (shuh-VAH-rah): I am the beneficiary of freedom 297 00:59:06.680 --> 00:59:20.049 Chevara Orrin (she/her) (shuh-VAH-rah): absolutely. But I do not have this interpersonal relationship of love in the way that these people are talking about, and that it was in that moment that I realized so deeply. 298 00:59:20.390 --> 00:59:21.840 Chevara Orrin (she/her) (shuh-VAH-rah): There are many truths. 299 00:59:22.380 --> 00:59:29.079 Chevara Orrin (she/her) (shuh-VAH-rah): There are multiple truths, and I suppose the question for me, and it might be for some of you. 300 00:59:29.290 --> 00:59:38.740 Chevara Orrin (she/her) (shuh-VAH-rah): How do we hold grace and space for multiple truths, even when some of those truths can be devastating and harmful for us. And one of the ways. 301 00:59:38.740 --> 01:00:02.470 Chevara Orrin (she/her) (shuh-VAH-rah): And I hear you I was looking at the person who put in about. I watched that documentary, too, about Bikram, and invited people in my community. Can we have a conversation about it like, can we? Can we talk about? They don't want to do that, but that is one way right that the only way through is through, and I think that to the extent I love what you put up, Susanna, that we have to at least acknowledge it. Acknowledgement is not agreement ever. 302 01:00:02.590 --> 01:00:09.820 Chevara Orrin (she/her) (shuh-VAH-rah): It's acknowledgement right, and for me, what I've discovered is I can stand on a stage 303 01:00:10.080 --> 01:00:17.140 Chevara Orrin (she/her) (shuh-VAH-rah): and talk about being a survivor of incest, and I do with campus speaks Speakers Bureau. I can also. 304 01:00:17.780 --> 01:00:46.740 Chevara Orrin (she/her) (shuh-VAH-rah): This is my father, Dr. King and Ambassador Young, in a new book called Selma's now, and I have a two-page essay. This just came out in February. I can do both because there are multiple truths, and what I will say is that I know for my own self. I mean. This isn't something that happened overnight. I am in my 5th decade of living, and so it took several decades to get to a space where I am able to hold 305 01:00:47.360 --> 01:00:49.319 Chevara Orrin (she/her) (shuh-VAH-rah): the healing and the horror. 306 01:00:49.940 --> 01:01:14.460 Chevara Orrin (she/her) (shuh-VAH-rah): and recognize that for some he is considered even Deity, because of what he accomplished for black people and freedom for folks all over the globe, and at the same time there were things that he did that were devastatingly harmful. And so I just wanted to share that because I do think that it's such a. It's such a complex and nuanced conversation, and I believe there is fluidity 307 01:01:14.460 --> 01:01:21.790 Chevara Orrin (she/her) (shuh-VAH-rah): in how we are journeying. It is possible that we can have evolution and devolution in the same month span 308 01:01:21.790 --> 01:01:46.589 Chevara Orrin (she/her) (shuh-VAH-rah): right? And so there are times most of the time when I am able to hold the tension between who my father is, and then there are some days that I don't know. Something just seeps in, and I struggle with it. And so I do think that it's also okay, we can. We can get to a place and say, You know I can. I can add this to my my Yoga practice, and then there might be a day in a particular pose, where all kinds of emotions 309 01:01:46.590 --> 01:01:53.890 Chevara Orrin (she/her) (shuh-VAH-rah): come rushing through. And now you're feeling differently about the Guru who brought us the practice. So I just wanted to to offer that. 310 01:01:57.360 --> 01:02:03.779 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Shavara. That was a whole teaching, many teachings. Thank you. 311 01:02:03.890 --> 01:02:12.499 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): thank you, and honoring your journey and your story. And I know I'm hearing seeing Caitlin say, very interested in articles and staying in touch. 312 01:02:12.760 --> 01:02:13.680 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yeah. 313 01:02:14.139 --> 01:02:25.009 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): oh, and thank you for putting your number in there. So sure I put her number in the in the chat. If folks want to write it down. Yeah, you know. 314 01:02:25.330 --> 01:02:33.829 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yoga can bring up so much whether we intend it to or not, right and inherently in Yoga philosophy. It's like these Yoga ethics come up. 315 01:02:34.070 --> 01:02:47.940 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): The majority of people, whether it's us or people in our lives, have experienced some form of trauma, right? Abuse, physical, emotional, sexual, you know sexual abuse. And so, having 316 01:02:48.260 --> 01:02:52.940 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): the ability to talk about share, you know, like 317 01:02:54.520 --> 01:02:59.929 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): have a stance, be able to be fluid with it. Understand that healing is cyclical. 318 01:03:00.120 --> 01:03:26.339 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and that sometimes we come back around, and we think, oh, like I should be over that. But it's not linear. And and again, I think the biggest thing is like when I think of trauma, informed Yoga, it's returning autonomy to the survivor. Because what trauma does particularly sexual trauma and particularly sexual trauma with someone in our life that should be someone who's there to take care of us. Someone we trust, you know 319 01:03:26.380 --> 01:03:31.740 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): is it removes that autonomy? We not only cannot trust them, it's hard to trust ourselves. 320 01:03:31.810 --> 01:03:37.389 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And so it's such an honor and such a 321 01:03:38.470 --> 01:04:08.140 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): an important role to be able to as a guide or teacher, we may never even know right like it could be in that class of thousands of people, bonnie right? That you shared a prompt a cue that helps remind people of their bodily sovereignty and autonomy. And that is a huge step on someone's healing journey. So I just want to say, like, Wow, this is very important. It's like exactly part of why I do this work. It really 322 01:04:08.250 --> 01:04:11.010 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): matters to me so much. And so I'm just 323 01:04:12.040 --> 01:04:18.900 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): really grateful to to you all for staying and Shabara for you, for sharing, and I want to create some space. 324 01:04:19.070 --> 01:04:35.990 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): If anyone else wants to share, particularly Rafael, I know you can't speak out loud, but I'll read your comment if there's anything more or like, because you asked the question. That's sort of like simmering that you want to put in the chat. Please feel please feel free. 325 01:04:36.513 --> 01:04:41.740 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Thank you, Susanna. Thank you, everyone. Thank you so much for your sharing, Shavara. 326 01:04:42.280 --> 01:04:47.860 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Thank you. Everyone for bringing thoughts on this complex issue. All your answers are really helpful. 327 01:04:48.580 --> 01:04:54.350 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Even though we didn't know each other the time you helped rescue and bolster me to be the change, too. I'm so grateful. 328 01:04:54.980 --> 01:04:59.616 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And I'm so glad. Yeah, I mean, you know, I 329 01:05:03.440 --> 01:05:06.359 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I feel like we do this to help 330 01:05:06.620 --> 01:05:09.570 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): heal ourselves and heal each other. Right? 331 01:05:10.300 --> 01:05:12.960 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yeah, yeah. 332 01:05:14.690 --> 01:05:16.250 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Anyone else. 333 01:05:35.570 --> 01:05:42.380 Caitlin (she/they): I would just like to say, Thank you for holding a space. I feel really 334 01:05:42.600 --> 01:05:47.499 Caitlin (she/they): happy and lucky or connected, actually. 335 01:05:48.075 --> 01:05:52.049 Caitlin (she/they): that I received the email that I saw that you like that. It 336 01:05:52.310 --> 01:06:03.029 Caitlin (she/they): worked out this was really important for me. Thank you, Shabara and Bonnie, everybody and Raphael for that, all of it really super relevant for me? It's been. 337 01:06:04.890 --> 01:06:14.630 Caitlin (she/they): I've had all these questions and that, and not a space. And I didn't even have to ask any of them. It just came today. So I'm really, I feel really grateful and blessed. Thank you all. 338 01:06:18.620 --> 01:06:19.920 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Thank you, Caitlin. 339 01:06:21.400 --> 01:06:28.659 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and if it's helpful, I don't know if it's helpful at all. But let me see if I can like to me as an educator. 340 01:06:28.800 --> 01:06:47.620 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I feel like spelling out Yoga ethics for this moment explicitly, is very helpful, you know, for me personally as a teacher, and so I'll share the link to this slideshow just again with the acknowledgement that it is a work in progress. 341 01:06:47.910 --> 01:07:04.209 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and that normally it's shared in a context of the ytt. 300 200, and that we have time and space to like unpack it. But we can also talk about it next next 342 01:07:04.510 --> 01:07:13.040 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): in the next 2 weeks as well, so we can come back to this. So I shared that with you all. If you, if you want it right like 343 01:07:13.290 --> 01:07:17.010 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): these are things I try to work on 344 01:07:17.030 --> 01:07:31.730 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): all the time, and then try to live into with the practice that all comes from flawed beings right, the the practice coming from flawed beings doesn't mean that the practice itself is flawed. And 345 01:07:31.750 --> 01:07:50.289 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): nor does it mean when we're honoring the roots of Yoga that we have to honor like patriarchy or abuse, or, you know, like supremacy or oppression, we can say like, I honor the roots, and I honor like the context and the people and care. And you know, so just acknowledging that, too. 346 01:07:52.960 --> 01:07:55.730 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and again appreciating each of you for staying 347 01:07:56.080 --> 01:08:00.380 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): anything else that wants to be shared before we close. And also, just, you know. 348 01:08:00.590 --> 01:08:04.799 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): acknowledging this could be activating the other thing. I'm gonna drop in the chat 349 01:08:04.960 --> 01:08:16.679 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): is resources because Yoga is wonderful, and of course, a lot of tools in therapy come from Yoga and other Vedic things. 350 01:08:16.979 --> 01:08:35.609 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): but it is not a replacement for therapy, and so particularly for folks who are survivors. Again, which is so many people. This is a list of mental health, therapeutic and spiritual support. So if that's useful, right, just knowing that you can 351 01:08:35.689 --> 01:08:47.050 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): particularly some of the online resources or therapists who, under individual therapists, they specifically focus on. 352 01:08:47.229 --> 01:08:51.669 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): you know, inclusive spaces, trauma informed spaces. 353 01:08:51.819 --> 01:08:56.629 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And yeah. Just want to make sure to 354 01:08:58.460 --> 01:09:01.879 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): to have have those resources available for us. 355 01:09:03.510 --> 01:09:06.670 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Anything else before we close. 356 01:09:10.149 --> 01:09:10.819 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Hmm. 357 01:09:16.750 --> 01:09:19.810 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I think we'll close with our mantra. 358 01:09:20.410 --> 01:09:27.860 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and then I will hang on for just a moment after we formally close, just to check in. If anyone wants to 359 01:09:29.040 --> 01:09:32.000 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): to share, to connect, I just want some support. 360 01:09:32.609 --> 01:09:36.489 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): So if you would like taking a moment to stretch. 361 01:09:37.520 --> 01:09:47.560 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): connect, to inner and outer guru, learning, openness, open-mindedness. 362 01:09:48.710 --> 01:09:56.270 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and we'll chant the same mantra, or receive, you can inhale full exhale. 363 01:09:59.590 --> 01:10:19.169 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): O Masatoma! Sad Gamaya, Tamaso, ma j mature mom Ritamaya! 364 01:10:19.860 --> 01:10:32.600 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Oh, Shanti Shanti shine thee! 365 01:10:33.740 --> 01:10:36.720 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Oh. 366 01:10:42.250 --> 01:10:48.169 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): thank you, thank you so much for your presence. Thank you so much for your practice 367 01:10:48.900 --> 01:10:57.730 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and say goodbye if you would like, I'll see you in in a little while. Oh, I think I just wanna say, I think the next 368 01:10:58.720 --> 01:11:03.040 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): next pilgrimage in Pooja actually is 369 01:11:03.460 --> 01:11:13.639 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): gonna not happen. So the next time I'll see you is office hours in August, because I am traveling my last trip for the book tour. 370 01:11:13.930 --> 01:11:19.209 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and there's just no way to do to do both. And so I think it is 371 01:11:22.510 --> 01:11:23.250 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): just double check. 372 01:11:24.390 --> 01:11:31.800 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): August August 13.th Yeah, you can unmute and say goodbye. 373 01:11:31.990 --> 01:11:35.470 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Good like, and I'll hang out if anyone. 374 01:11:36.370 --> 01:11:37.070 Abby Shepard: Thank you.