WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.376 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): We had space to just share a little bit. 2 00:00:04.300 --> 00:00:14.360 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): We're exploring. And and this month's theme for me really was like around 3 00:00:14.680 --> 00:00:19.659 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): surrender and letting go, and also like 4 00:00:20.080 --> 00:00:47.299 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): the path of devotional surrender. But that dancing of with devotion to the divine that involves a kind of letting go into sacred care. So we're talking also about that need of like there's so much to do. And yet sometimes we just want to like curl up into a little burrito, and, you know, lay on the couch, and and how to how it is necessary to do that, and how to do that without 5 00:00:48.040 --> 00:00:53.670 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): guilt or shame or like feeling like we're not doing enough. 6 00:00:54.360 --> 00:01:10.009 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And the question arose and welcome. You're welcome, Megan, to share anything that's coming up for you, you know. Related to this, or separate in the chatter out loud in a moment. But the question was kind of put forth, so how do you rest without guilt. 7 00:01:10.210 --> 00:01:15.689 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): you know, and one is like knowing for me. These are my practices. 8 00:01:18.000 --> 00:01:23.800 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): So it's like the clacker, right? It's the nervous system. Clacker right? The let's see if I can find 9 00:01:23.900 --> 00:01:36.600 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): a picture of this. But my nervous system, it really kind of like articulated into 10 00:01:36.960 --> 00:01:41.108 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): fight or flight a lot. And 11 00:01:42.900 --> 00:01:45.819 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I don't know if I'm gonna find it. 12 00:01:48.830 --> 00:01:53.790 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Let me see. And so, knowing that sometimes 13 00:01:54.190 --> 00:01:58.310 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): part of what my nervous system is doing 14 00:01:58.660 --> 00:02:04.979 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): is kind of bringing me back into a state of dis-ease 15 00:02:05.260 --> 00:02:14.420 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): because it's my habit energy because of my own life experiences and trauma right, which dovetails with systemic issues 16 00:02:15.020 --> 00:02:19.219 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): to be sort of in fight or flight, or into associate, you know. 17 00:02:19.350 --> 00:02:46.099 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): for me it's more fight or flight. So I just tend to like Pop, pop, pop, pop, you know if you think of like, and not that it's bad. It's kind of like Julian is saying like, feel it right, and then like, come back. But for me for the longest, like years and years I could. I really couldn't rest. And even still, I'm only just learning how to actually rest, because I'll like pop myself back into, you know, that stress state. And so it's my like 18 00:02:46.330 --> 00:02:52.426 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): understanding that it's okay to kind of go down 19 00:02:53.000 --> 00:03:02.640 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And I think of it, like my clacker is the word that I use, or like that nervous system. It's okay for my nervous system to kind of like slow down my breath, to slow down my body, to slow down 20 00:03:03.120 --> 00:03:12.890 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and to ride that because it's gonna carry me into the next time that I need to be like at the action or at the protest, or, you know, whatever 21 00:03:13.010 --> 00:03:17.389 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): have the energy to move back up. So I do 22 00:03:17.740 --> 00:03:31.810 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): try to just like in that way of working with nature, working with energy, follow my own energy there, and really rest like while I'm there and not be like, oh, I should be doing this, I should be doing that, but just let myself like. 23 00:03:32.310 --> 00:03:41.639 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And then for me also, I think I've had some physical, you know, like times that showed me. Oh, no, you really have to rest like if you don't. 24 00:03:41.650 --> 00:04:03.489 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Your body is breaking down, you know, and so I think hopefully we don't all have to get to get there. But knowing that it really is okay, and it doesn't mean you're not going to go back up. I think I used to be afraid that I wouldn't, you know, wouldn't be able to come back. And I'm gonna look for the picture, but just welcoming in any other thoughts. 25 00:04:18.850 --> 00:04:25.960 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I found it so cool. So this, let me see. 26 00:04:26.180 --> 00:04:28.370 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Share my screen. 27 00:04:32.040 --> 00:04:34.510 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Can you all see that? 28 00:04:36.190 --> 00:04:47.410 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): So here is like our ventral vagus, right? Parasympathetic kind of down here. 29 00:04:47.540 --> 00:04:58.569 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Healthy response, social engagement, curiosity, self regulation, presence, right like all of these things, kind of what we were talking about, compassion, self-regulation, all of that. 30 00:04:58.920 --> 00:05:02.019 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And so then there's like the emotional states 31 00:05:02.320 --> 00:05:17.323 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): that get activated fight or flight response. So all this sort of like on the spectrum of fear various, you know, from nervous or anxious all the way up to like full out and same here 32 00:05:18.270 --> 00:05:27.540 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): from sadness to annoyed to frustrated, to rage right so and then here. 33 00:05:28.410 --> 00:05:34.189 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): if we're kind of activated into these, the things that can help us 34 00:05:34.380 --> 00:05:43.610 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): are these self-regulation or bringing relaxation right? And then up here we can also, like, go into like go all the way through 35 00:05:44.470 --> 00:05:57.959 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): the parasympathetic, sorry, the sympathetic into parasympathetic again, which is like shutting down, numbing, freezing, avoiding right, and all pretty much everywhere. To care for these things 36 00:05:58.290 --> 00:06:03.029 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): is compassion, compassion for ourselves, compassion for the situation. 37 00:06:03.490 --> 00:06:28.840 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): If we're here too much right kind of like ping ponging, which again, from experience like from dissociation into like all the stress feelings, then it can lead to Ptsd, you know, can trauma can also, of course, cause it, but different things that become like a way of life, right? Which is for me how I was kind of living up here. 38 00:06:28.950 --> 00:06:30.060 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And 39 00:06:31.460 --> 00:07:00.830 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): so it's not about not feeling any of these things or not doing these things right. It's just about kind of like, instead of ping ponging like this, or like long, you know, weeks, months here, or even here, kind of like feeling the feeling and then coming back down right, feeling the feeling, processing the experience and coming back. And so some of the tools are things like breathing 40 00:07:01.020 --> 00:07:06.880 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): being present, all the Yogic tools right thinking before acting, pausing. 41 00:07:07.080 --> 00:07:17.010 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): moving, meditation, talking with someone journal journaling right? Sharing in a vulnerable way and 42 00:07:17.780 --> 00:07:21.430 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): remembering kind of like contractions. 43 00:07:22.490 --> 00:07:44.983 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): or pain, right like, is it? It doesn't stay right. It's gonna be. It's gonna move, anyway. So allowing it to just flow. And that includes when we need to disassociate or numb or shut down like it's not. We're not gonna stay there. We're gonna be there for some time, and then we're, gonna you know, maybe move back into like that more healthy 44 00:07:45.330 --> 00:08:01.030 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): kind of centered, engaged, curious present place. And then we're going to get frustrated right, or whatever frightened or anxious or scared, you know, and then move back back in so even for me, things like choosing when I look at the news. 45 00:08:01.220 --> 00:08:20.699 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): not early in the morning, not late at night, because it gets me all here right every time right now. So that type of thing I put in the middle of the day these days, instead of early or late, and if I do it early or late, I notice that it interferes with like self regulation, and I have to practice 46 00:08:21.050 --> 00:08:28.719 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): so any thoughts or or questions about that that help a helpful framing. 47 00:08:32.510 --> 00:08:41.390 Carly Joelle: Yeah. And your shared experience, plus the fact that, like charts and graphs exist, just is a great reminder like these are human experiences. 48 00:08:41.620 --> 00:08:45.949 Carly Joelle: We've got tools. Just this is, this is the work. 49 00:08:46.730 --> 00:08:47.300 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yeah. 50 00:08:47.440 --> 00:09:12.049 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): yeah. And we, the other thing that helps me, too, is like, we have different clackers, like, some of us come online. But like seriously fast, right? And then our life and environment and circumstances either kind of helps us soothe that, or for most of us, honestly, it like makes it go faster. And then some of us come online, you know, thinking ayurvetically, like a Kappa type with a more slow kind of regular 51 00:09:12.340 --> 00:09:18.019 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): right, maybe prone to like down depression right really slow. And 52 00:09:18.449 --> 00:09:24.050 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): generally, our world is also not set up to help or support people there either. Right? So 53 00:09:25.280 --> 00:09:53.309 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): for me, the other thing is not comparing myself. I know I'm like one of those, because I'm like here, and part of it is like I do so much because fast, right? But I've had to learn to like slow down and say no, and do less, and so that I'm more on that side of learning how to do, how to do this, and then not judge myself or blame myself when I'm in that I'm in that state. It's like bringing in the wisdom of opposite. 54 00:09:55.360 --> 00:09:56.320 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yeah. 55 00:09:59.630 --> 00:10:10.760 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): thank you for that, Megan. Anything that's arising for you right now that you want to bring into the space or share, and we'll also do a little practice in a moment. 56 00:10:16.800 --> 00:10:23.849 Megan Mathers (she/her): The conversation feels pretty resonant for me as well. I was able to rewatch 57 00:10:24.040 --> 00:10:30.769 Megan Mathers (she/her): the last Pooja talking about Brahmacharya and energy management, and even just 58 00:10:31.020 --> 00:10:36.819 Megan Mathers (she/her): hearing again your experience and how you're giving yourself permission to take naps and 59 00:10:37.450 --> 00:10:47.830 Megan Mathers (she/her): what you said, that we are a drop in the ocean, and we are the ocean that's been in my mind this kind of this whole time. And even as I 60 00:10:49.490 --> 00:10:53.849 Megan Mathers (she/her): and just aware of my mindset around whenever I 61 00:10:53.980 --> 00:11:01.009 Megan Mathers (she/her): take rest, and how I feel when I don't show up the way that I want to, or how I 62 00:11:01.180 --> 00:11:09.095 Megan Mathers (she/her): think I should. so yeah, here. 63 00:11:09.950 --> 00:11:11.479 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Figuring it out, too. 64 00:11:12.540 --> 00:11:13.520 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Thank you. 65 00:11:14.300 --> 00:11:26.230 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yeah. You're sharing the drop in the ocean. And and the ocean reminded me to some of the folks I know who are longtime activists like they reflect. You know, I feel like in the newer 66 00:11:27.070 --> 00:11:49.690 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): era, like the younger times. Newer doesn't have to mean actually younger, but like new to activism work, it's kind of like, there's this full on pressure like, you got to show up. You got to be at everything. You got to do all the things, and then, like the sort of folks who've been there for a while are like, No, it's okay, like you rest. Other people will move forward, you know. It's like the wave in the ocean, like when you're in the 67 00:11:49.690 --> 00:12:01.590 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): crest. Sometimes you're like up and out there and then other times. You're kind of like here, and you know, back like. But knowing that you're not alone like you're held by so many others, and one of the things 68 00:12:01.700 --> 00:12:19.859 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): that someone shared with me this week that I didn't know like. I was so inspired when I saw Harvard was standing up to the trump administration, and then my friend shared with me. Now there's like almost 200 other colleges across the country that have signed, you know, a letter, and are like resisting. 69 00:12:20.040 --> 00:12:29.379 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Obviously the Aclu is like has been the, you know, major institution I've looked to, but to know that there's so many others right? That's like 70 00:12:29.780 --> 00:12:40.890 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): wave amongst so many waves, you know, really like an ocean of resistance. And so yes, we can raise our voices, or we can do things, but we can also be like 71 00:12:41.770 --> 00:12:52.720 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): there's other people doing things, too, you know, we're not the only ones. It's not all on us. And so it can be this real like practice of interconnectedness. 72 00:12:53.020 --> 00:12:57.609 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yeah. And we have different roles to play, you know, like. 73 00:12:58.150 --> 00:13:09.700 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I don't think I ever. I've not regretted not becoming a lawyer until this year, I was like, I would have been really useful as a lawyer. But 74 00:13:11.730 --> 00:13:17.430 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): yeah, I don't think that would have worked out so well for me, you know, like it wasn't in my nature 75 00:13:17.600 --> 00:13:35.349 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I could have done it, but it wouldn't have been right, you know. And so then it's like right? I can donate to the Aclu I can support. I can share their work, you know. I don't have to be doing the thing. I can just support the thing. You know that that's been like one process I've been in as well. 76 00:13:35.490 --> 00:13:40.509 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Because, yeah, I mean, I live in a suburb of La with my family. 77 00:13:40.510 --> 00:14:08.339 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I'm at home a lot. I work from home, you know, so that's a very different life than when I was 1st getting into the movement, and like out in public school with 3,000 students, mostly black and brown students, every day going to actions, you know, through the week, through the weekend. Now I go to like one action. Some weekends, you know, so it is very different. It's a different stage of life, and I have different responsibilities, you know, and 78 00:14:08.530 --> 00:14:24.890 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I can't judge the me now by what I did then, and that's just myself. You know where my friends who don't have kids now, and the things that they're doing versus where I'm at, citizen, non-citizen, you know, there's there's so many like we just have our particular 79 00:14:25.780 --> 00:14:30.030 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): things that were called forward into, and 80 00:14:30.970 --> 00:14:51.850 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): the one piece, though I will say, is, I do sometimes still have conversations with like close friends where I'm like, are we just armchair activists. Now, you know, like, are we doing enough? And I think those conversations are good to have the trusted, you know, kind of circle where you know they're not going to judge you or put you down, but they are going to hold you 81 00:14:51.850 --> 00:15:03.110 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): to what your values are. And if you're living your values, which to some extent, I think, for me, like our circles, are right. These, when we come together, is like, Are we actually 82 00:15:03.580 --> 00:15:16.790 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): am I actually practicing or living them, and and without judgment, I think it's without judgment, but with just like, let's be a mirror. Let's be a reflection. Let's like, is there something more I am. 83 00:15:17.740 --> 00:15:28.390 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I just got, and I'll move into our practice in a second. But I'll share again. So back in the early days this is like one of those fun things. I 84 00:15:28.790 --> 00:15:30.590 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): wheat pasted 85 00:15:31.310 --> 00:15:55.509 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): during the Iraq War bees, posters all over la watching, waiting, dreaming, and it was so cool we like went out at night, and, you know, like went to billboard like like places where you can. We paste right? Visit, wearing all black all of those things, and we're about to go. 86 00:15:56.350 --> 00:16:02.793 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I almost wanna go get the physical ones because they're so cool. But I'll show you on canva 87 00:16:04.460 --> 00:16:05.470 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Here they are. 88 00:16:05.710 --> 00:16:08.429 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): So we made these 89 00:16:09.004 --> 00:16:14.859 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): that we're gonna go wheat, paste around while I'm on the book tour, right? So it's like 90 00:16:15.010 --> 00:16:29.878 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): around Yoga spaces or like places like everyone in La, which is like a wellness place, right like and I had to change it from Tesla. So we didn't get to. But basically we're trying to 91 00:16:30.380 --> 00:16:35.179 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and Amazon same. And then like this one around trans rights like. 92 00:16:35.460 --> 00:16:43.230 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): just like right I my, my form of protest is often 93 00:16:44.780 --> 00:16:50.233 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): artistic, right? It's like it's ritual, it's art, it's 94 00:16:52.280 --> 00:16:57.449 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): It doesn't have to just look one way, you know, and and so. 95 00:16:57.780 --> 00:17:18.590 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and it kind of like brings me alive when I'm doing the things that are aligned with my. There's a little bit of like illegality sometimes, you know, like it's a little on the border of. Is this allowed or not allowed? It'll hopefully make people think, you know there's. And so it's that like coming together. 96 00:17:18.700 --> 00:17:24.899 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): So I would say in this moment less so, armchair activist, right? But even if so, it's like. 97 00:17:25.710 --> 00:17:38.689 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I think other people would be like what Suzanne of our Kentucky worries about that like I. But I do right. And so I I think, also just knowing that feeling of like, are we doing enough? Or it's never enough. 98 00:17:39.290 --> 00:18:00.480 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): That's that cycle of craving and aversion that's that cycle of like. Not enough this. So it may always be there, no matter what we do. And so why not just have fun doing the things that we're going to do, and then have fun and enjoy the down the rest when the rest comes? You know that was a long way of answering your question. 99 00:18:01.420 --> 00:18:03.540 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Thought I would share that the personal 100 00:18:05.970 --> 00:18:11.009 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): anything that's arising before we move into a little practice. 101 00:18:17.900 --> 00:18:23.550 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Okay, okay, beautiful. 102 00:18:23.840 --> 00:18:27.349 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): So let's take a moment and stretch 103 00:18:27.910 --> 00:18:31.340 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): arms away from your body, any amount. 104 00:18:32.650 --> 00:18:42.999 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): lifting them up over your head and to one side, and then the other side. 105 00:18:44.870 --> 00:19:00.640 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and then in any way that feels aligned and supportive to you, invoking a kind of gesture of surrender with your body, so that might be a forward fold, or it might be just like kind of massaging, or putting your hands over your heart. 106 00:19:01.150 --> 00:19:03.339 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): folding down. 107 00:19:14.600 --> 00:19:23.520 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and then on your next inhale slightly coming up, exhale, release a little further. 108 00:19:29.370 --> 00:19:37.229 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): inhale and exhale, and then gently rising up 109 00:19:39.520 --> 00:19:42.719 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): as you come up, lifting your arms 110 00:19:43.110 --> 00:19:54.830 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): towards the sky, and bringing them down and letting them kind of sweep down your body, and like sweeping away or sweeping any. Anything that you want to release could be judgment could be, you know. 111 00:19:56.160 --> 00:20:00.660 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): like just brushing off, brushing away. 112 00:20:08.900 --> 00:20:15.590 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and then inhaling arms up again. An exhale went to one side. 113 00:20:16.310 --> 00:20:23.400 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and as you twist from your belly, from your chest, from your eyes and chin. 114 00:20:24.330 --> 00:20:26.050 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): What am I releasing 115 00:20:39.480 --> 00:20:44.980 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): on your next inhale, coming back up and around to center 116 00:20:45.110 --> 00:20:48.580 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): exhale, twisting to the other side. 117 00:20:50.570 --> 00:20:53.290 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): It's twisting all the way around. 118 00:20:57.840 --> 00:21:00.220 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): What am I inviting? In 119 00:21:19.370 --> 00:21:27.930 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): 9 9 up, and then exhale arms come down, finding an easeful way to be 120 00:21:28.420 --> 00:21:31.500 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): could be seated, standing, lying down. 121 00:21:31.940 --> 00:21:37.879 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Let your gaze be soft, or your eyes be gently closed. 122 00:21:43.440 --> 00:21:51.190 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): deep breath in, and full breath out listening with your heart. 123 00:22:05.060 --> 00:22:18.900 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Next Tuesday is a celebration of the story of the 6th avatar of Vishnu, whose name is Para Shurama. 124 00:22:19.750 --> 00:22:28.760 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): known for his righteous anger, and also for moving through violence 125 00:22:29.160 --> 00:22:34.810 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and anger into the wisdom of being a sage and teacher. 126 00:22:39.440 --> 00:22:42.310 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): someone who practiced deep compassion. 127 00:22:44.630 --> 00:22:55.100 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Long ago there lived the warrior sage Parasharama, born not from fire, but from paradox. 128 00:22:56.220 --> 00:22:58.960 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): He was a Brahmin by birth. 129 00:23:01.260 --> 00:23:04.939 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Anashatriya by Karma, meaning a warrior. 130 00:23:05.680 --> 00:23:14.060 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): He carried in his hand a weapon that had been gifted to him by Shiva himself a heavy axe. 131 00:23:14.570 --> 00:23:24.939 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): forged from divine rage, and Parasharama lived with this tension. 132 00:23:25.560 --> 00:23:30.589 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Warrior born a sage or sage, born a warrior. 133 00:23:32.210 --> 00:23:34.059 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): As he grew. 134 00:23:34.720 --> 00:23:46.770 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): His family experienced some wrongful discrimination and harm, and he immediately Parashrama struck back. 135 00:23:47.820 --> 00:23:54.210 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Not once, but the story goes, used his axe 21 times 136 00:23:58.490 --> 00:24:06.379 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): the earth shuddered, the forests wept, even the rivers recoiled and left the land. 137 00:24:07.150 --> 00:24:18.419 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and when his vengeance was finished he stood alone, his hands gripping the axe, but his heart hollow. 138 00:24:19.560 --> 00:24:23.659 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): He tried to let it go, and threw the axe into the sea. 139 00:24:23.890 --> 00:24:28.639 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): but the sea returned it. No matter how far he flung it. 140 00:24:29.090 --> 00:24:32.690 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): The axe kept reappearing in his hand. 141 00:24:36.820 --> 00:24:46.050 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): until one day, overcome and unsure what to do, he fell to his knees, and he prayed. 142 00:24:46.990 --> 00:24:52.129 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Who am I? What am I without my weapon? 143 00:24:56.090 --> 00:25:01.769 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And the answer came not with a voice or thunder, but in silence. 144 00:25:03.250 --> 00:25:08.800 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): You are not your rage, you are the stillness beneath it. 145 00:25:13.920 --> 00:25:18.000 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): So he began walking in walking meditation. 146 00:25:19.240 --> 00:25:21.940 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): walking not away from his power. 147 00:25:22.590 --> 00:25:27.380 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): holding on to his power, keeping his essence of the warrior. 148 00:25:27.590 --> 00:25:33.799 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): but now a warrior walking towards peace, walking in peace. 149 00:25:34.740 --> 00:25:39.830 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and wherever he walked the ocean flowed back. 150 00:25:40.580 --> 00:25:46.390 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): new land rose under his feet, and the story goes. 151 00:25:47.200 --> 00:26:00.610 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): this is how the western coast of India was formed Concanigoa Kerala, born not from conquest, but from surrender. 152 00:26:04.060 --> 00:26:10.380 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and on this day, on New Moon 153 00:26:11.060 --> 00:26:17.500 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): we honor Para Sharama, the warrior who became a sage or a sage warrior. 154 00:26:18.280 --> 00:26:26.389 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): revered for his acts, and also for his courage to walk in peace and to lay it down. 155 00:26:31.290 --> 00:26:39.650 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And so, as you reflect on Parasharama. 156 00:26:40.940 --> 00:26:44.720 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): you might invite in the question. 157 00:26:44.880 --> 00:26:51.659 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): what am I holding on to, or what am I gripping that no longer serves like the axe 158 00:26:54.060 --> 00:26:59.010 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): what might be returned to me until I learn from it. 159 00:27:04.870 --> 00:27:06.920 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): or another way of asking that 160 00:27:08.200 --> 00:27:13.880 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): what wisdom has returned to me again and again, waiting for me to receive it. 161 00:27:14.410 --> 00:27:18.029 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): So not with any judgment. Not like we're doing it wrong. 162 00:27:18.170 --> 00:27:21.729 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): But like, oh, that lesson. Okay. 163 00:27:27.860 --> 00:27:37.530 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): where might surrender be more powerful than force, more power or control. 164 00:27:45.850 --> 00:27:54.919 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Put these in the chat for us to journal on in a moment, but we'll close this practice with a short, guided visualization. 165 00:27:55.290 --> 00:28:07.319 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): imagining that you or Parasharama, whatever feels more aligned, are standing at the shore of the ocean, the ocean. 166 00:28:07.780 --> 00:28:13.659 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): his parting, as you take peaceful steps. 167 00:28:17.470 --> 00:28:20.800 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): maybe visualizing a flower. 168 00:28:21.800 --> 00:28:24.580 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): There's some fresh water, a leaf. 169 00:28:26.390 --> 00:28:33.590 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Pour your breath, and offering it as a gift, as a gesture into the ocean. 170 00:28:36.950 --> 00:28:43.220 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): What land or energy of the land is arising 171 00:28:46.240 --> 00:28:54.629 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): within you, and I offer this to the divine within me and all around me 172 00:28:55.080 --> 00:29:05.140 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): this gift of the flower, water, leaf, breath anything, and I trust, what rises next. 173 00:29:06.700 --> 00:29:10.929 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I trust, what rises next. 174 00:29:16.090 --> 00:29:24.269 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And so we'll transition from the still meditation into a walking meditation. 175 00:29:24.840 --> 00:29:29.610 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and maybe carrying with you the word trust, or if there's another word that 176 00:29:30.170 --> 00:29:42.900 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): works for you, we'll move. Taking a breath with a step, and if you prefer not to stand or walk. You can always just inhale lifting, you know. One arm or one hand exhale raising it down. 177 00:29:43.500 --> 00:29:49.389 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): But it's moving one breath, one step, so it's quite slow. 178 00:29:54.195 --> 00:29:58.800 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): It doesn't really matter how far you're walking. 179 00:29:59.220 --> 00:30:10.440 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): It's just the energy, the intention of inhale one breath, one step, exhale next breath. 180 00:30:10.760 --> 00:30:18.200 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Next trust, surrender 181 00:30:21.950 --> 00:30:26.169 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): when you reach, like for me, the end or the wall. 182 00:30:26.320 --> 00:30:29.870 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): it's pausing for a moment and turning the other way. 183 00:30:30.800 --> 00:30:36.739 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): We'll practice like this for a few minutes, and I'll guide us back with my voice when it's time 184 00:33:39.080 --> 00:33:47.030 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): invitation to speed up and walk closer to your normal pace, so it might be 2 or 3 steps 185 00:33:47.460 --> 00:33:53.330 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): per breath, but keeping the mantra trust, surrender! Whatever your mantra is. 186 00:34:08.520 --> 00:34:17.110 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): my mantra ends up, going like 3 times like trust, trust, trust, trust, trust, surrender, surrender, surrender, surrender with the step and the breath. 187 00:34:53.480 --> 00:34:58.049 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): doing a few last steps, and then coming 188 00:34:58.230 --> 00:35:08.779 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): the stillness. If you'd like placing your hands at your heart, deep breath in and full bow 189 00:35:09.080 --> 00:35:13.880 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): to the earth that we've been walking upon, that's holding us up 190 00:35:14.720 --> 00:35:20.670 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): to the earth that always allows us to and holds us as we surrender. 191 00:35:22.120 --> 00:35:29.259 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and then bowing to the inner warrior, the inner sage within you, within each of us. 192 00:35:35.950 --> 00:35:39.159 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and then, if you'd like to get your journal, or 193 00:35:39.450 --> 00:35:44.719 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): to write anywhere in the chat. Or just reflect, I'll try to 194 00:35:45.340 --> 00:35:48.720 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): put the questions that I asked, and 195 00:35:49.490 --> 00:35:57.670 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): the chat will take a few minutes to reflect an invitation 196 00:35:59.100 --> 00:36:01.930 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): to share. If you would like 197 00:36:21.410 --> 00:36:23.240 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): few minutes to reflect. 198 00:36:25.100 --> 00:36:31.260 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): What am I? What is my axe or axes? What am I ready to lay down 199 00:36:31.660 --> 00:36:37.260 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): what wisdom has returned to me again and again, waiting for me to receive it? 200 00:36:38.170 --> 00:36:42.940 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Where might surrender be more powerful than control? 201 00:36:43.130 --> 00:36:52.409 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And then in the visualization at the ocean. What land is rising in you now? What wisdom, what new things! 202 00:40:04.790 --> 00:40:07.999 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Getting a minute more to reflect 203 00:40:47.710 --> 00:40:52.949 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): as you finish your reflection, just appreciating 204 00:40:53.090 --> 00:40:59.343 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): the sage warrior right wherever you're at in that spectrum. Maybe it's not a 205 00:40:59.950 --> 00:41:05.240 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): an opposition. Maybe it's a false paradox. Maybe we can be both. 206 00:41:06.880 --> 00:41:36.810 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and invitation to share, if you would like anything that arose, and I will say before I open it up, part of why I wanted to bring in walking. Meditation is, you know, sometimes, particularly in times of great duress, like when to. So I learned walking meditation, though I think it's been done historically by Buddhists and Yoga practitioners, you know, for thousands of years. I particularly was taught it by thich Nhat, Han and Thich Nhat Han 207 00:41:37.550 --> 00:41:40.790 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): when he taught it to me. He described a night 208 00:41:41.440 --> 00:42:08.659 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): during the Vietnam War. He was in Vietnam, and there was a boat of refugees who, you know, was going to be potentially caught by the Government and killed, and his team of other monastics, monks and nuns was supposed to go and help them. And so he was like, do I send the monks and nuns into what will most certainly be death, or do we not go? And then they don't have help when they land on the shore. 209 00:42:08.930 --> 00:42:16.920 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and he was so like understandably agitated by that choice 210 00:42:17.640 --> 00:42:25.460 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): that he could not meditate. And so he did, walking meditation through the whole night, and was, you know, the mission was supposed to go off in the morning. 211 00:42:25.520 --> 00:42:50.940 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and by the morning he got clear, and they did go, they were able to rescue and not get caught in that particular instance. But what I love about the practice is that it can be one that's there with us, even when we can't sit, even when we're too busy, or we're too agitated, you know, to do like the formal practices. It's its own formal practice. And it's also a bit more accessible. 212 00:42:51.440 --> 00:42:57.800 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): So I wanted to share that today, anything that arose. 213 00:43:18.820 --> 00:43:20.240 Carly Joelle: For me. 214 00:43:21.220 --> 00:43:24.060 Carly Joelle: What I'm feeling coming up is just like 215 00:43:24.240 --> 00:43:27.249 Carly Joelle: the continuation that this is just 216 00:43:27.710 --> 00:43:30.889 Carly Joelle: part of the process. This is the 217 00:43:31.150 --> 00:43:37.439 Carly Joelle: rising and falling, and so how I feel right now isn't how I'll feel forever 218 00:43:38.170 --> 00:43:40.589 Carly Joelle: and do what I can when I can. 219 00:43:42.360 --> 00:43:44.680 Carly Joelle: This was all really helpful. 220 00:43:45.590 --> 00:43:49.939 Carly Joelle: I'm not articulating it as much as it's living in here. 221 00:43:51.640 --> 00:43:52.890 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): So glad. 222 00:43:53.090 --> 00:44:00.889 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yeah, yeah, it's like, what I hear is like, a bit more ease. 223 00:44:01.640 --> 00:44:03.979 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): a bit more ease and spaciousness. 224 00:44:04.130 --> 00:44:08.050 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yeah, thank you. 225 00:44:15.360 --> 00:44:19.389 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And no pressure to share Megan. But invitation. If you would like to. 226 00:44:25.930 --> 00:44:32.409 Megan Mathers (she/her): I feel a little bit of piggybacking off of what Carly said, but just 227 00:44:32.850 --> 00:44:44.129 Megan Mathers (she/her): that walking meditation, and like trusting that with each step the floor was gonna meet my foot and be underneath me. So this like Carly said this 228 00:44:44.300 --> 00:44:51.609 Megan Mathers (she/her): continuation and the process, and trusting each step that I'm going to be met with each step. Where I'm at. 229 00:44:54.610 --> 00:44:58.603 Megan Mathers (she/her): Yeah. And I think I'm just gonna sit with that for a little bit longer. 230 00:44:59.890 --> 00:45:02.240 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yeah, thank you. 231 00:45:03.030 --> 00:45:04.630 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): It's really beautiful. 232 00:45:04.910 --> 00:45:10.490 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And I'm so glad like, I just wanna say, you know, like, sometimes. 233 00:45:10.780 --> 00:45:15.320 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I don't know if either of you teach that much. But sometimes it's like 234 00:45:15.590 --> 00:45:20.980 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I've learned, like, even if it's 1 person or 2 people or 20 people like 235 00:45:21.610 --> 00:45:43.319 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): the right thing comes through, and also like this, what happened here like, I had a little bit of a plan, but then we talked, and I got the teaching, too, that I need, because 2 things. One is the walking meditation, I think, is going to be really helpful for me while I'm on tour. All of May. I'm all over the country. 236 00:45:43.930 --> 00:45:51.080 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And then, just before our call, I got an email. 237 00:45:51.500 --> 00:45:56.009 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): So my very 1st book, I got a trademark complaint right before it launched 238 00:45:56.130 --> 00:46:03.860 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): by a non-indian person who's like you can't use the words Honor yoga. So I had to change the title, change the book. 239 00:46:04.210 --> 00:46:10.550 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and I just got notice that we got the trademark for. Ignite your yoga like 240 00:46:10.990 --> 00:46:23.009 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): 4 days before this book publishes, you know, which is so exciting. And then I'm like, Wow, but it's so weird, right? Because I really believe in trademarks. I'm like, no, I got this. Not 241 00:46:23.370 --> 00:46:37.930 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): so. I can control those words or that language, but because I believe in the freedom of everyone to use whatever words they want. Right? So it's a weird. It's like the axe coming back. But this time it came back 242 00:46:38.470 --> 00:46:47.570 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): in a supportive way rather than like, so I feel like there's some sort of cycle. That's ending right like or changing. 243 00:46:48.370 --> 00:46:56.259 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): So it's a yeah. So that was really cool. And I just appreciate the space to 244 00:46:56.410 --> 00:47:05.729 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): to be like changing cycles, right? Changing patterns, kind of helping ourselves go through these things in our lives, but in a more 245 00:47:06.200 --> 00:47:10.039 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): compassionate, self-compassionate, and utterly compassionate way. 246 00:47:11.530 --> 00:47:20.519 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): But thank you. Thank you. To to you and Juliana, and everyone who is here in spirit. Yeah. 247 00:47:21.950 --> 00:47:29.879 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And we can close. I think it's time. Yeah, we can close. And then I'll see you all. 248 00:47:31.370 --> 00:47:36.679 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yeah, in 2 weeks. It's amazing, actually, how I must have planned it this way. 249 00:47:36.940 --> 00:47:39.070 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): In 2 weeks I will be 250 00:47:39.970 --> 00:47:43.480 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): back home. So I will actually be. 251 00:47:47.580 --> 00:47:50.210 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): is that right? Yeah, it's the second. 252 00:47:50.340 --> 00:47:55.200 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): it just works out, I'll be here. So I don't. It's we're not canceling, which is nice. 253 00:47:55.630 --> 00:47:59.830 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I'll see you again on the 14th of May. 254 00:48:00.950 --> 00:48:09.860 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yeah, yeah, thank you. And just sending you lots of care and well wishes. 255 00:48:10.020 --> 00:48:11.389 Megan Mathers (she/her): Thank you so much. 256 00:48:11.640 --> 00:48:13.030 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yeah. Thank you. 257 00:48:13.450 --> 00:48:14.410 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Bye. 258 00:48:15.290 --> 00:48:16.602 Carly Joelle: Thank you. Bye.