WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.150 --> 00:00:05.630 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): All right, so welcome to our pilgrimage in Puja, for 2 00:00:06.050 --> 00:00:08.610 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I've almost said April or March. 3 00:00:10.750 --> 00:00:15.279 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): We'll explore Svid Yaya self inquiry. 4 00:00:15.600 --> 00:00:35.340 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And finding that harmony or that balance. I often think that balance, you know, when you think of like equal parts, light and dark, or like. It's sort of an illusion like we can't always find actual balance, but we can find harmony for ourselves. 5 00:00:35.520 --> 00:00:42.653 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and that might mean more dark than light or more, you know, not not giving it, you know. 6 00:00:43.340 --> 00:00:45.000 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): not giving any 7 00:00:45.520 --> 00:00:52.460 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): coding one way or the other, but just really checking in and being like, Oh, yeah, right now, I feel like. 8 00:00:53.140 --> 00:00:59.870 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): you know, my equilibrium. My harmony is like more of this 9 00:00:59.970 --> 00:01:14.049 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): way, more of the night, more of the grounding, more of the heavy, or maybe it's more of the light, more of the playful right like it. It. There's no absolute right. There's just through Svadhyaya. What's 10 00:01:14.190 --> 00:01:16.380 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): ours? What's our own? 11 00:01:17.380 --> 00:01:46.950 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And the spring equinox is a moment of that equilibrium in nature, an equal amount of day and night, and then traditionally, a time of renewal, of planting seeds for the season ahead, and it's celebrated all over India in all different kinds of ways. There's Magbihu, Bihu, and Assam, where my family is, from, which is like a spring festival. There's holy throwing colors and all of that. 12 00:01:47.100 --> 00:01:54.419 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and and I think in pagan culture I actually don't know the name of the 13 00:01:54.560 --> 00:02:00.789 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): festival. Maybe one of you knows it, or I can look it up. But there's there's that middle equinox celebration. 14 00:02:01.430 --> 00:02:04.570 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and so just connecting to 15 00:02:04.570 --> 00:02:07.379 Linda Wells: Is this the original S store, Esther E. 16 00:02:08.424 --> 00:02:09.194 Linda Wells: App store? 17 00:02:09.580 --> 00:02:14.679 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Esther. Yes, yeah. So like for you. 18 00:02:14.850 --> 00:02:25.390 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): taking a moment just in reflection to be like, okay, how how is it feeling right now? What is harmony for me in this moment? 19 00:02:26.670 --> 00:02:31.240 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And what am I awakening to? 20 00:02:31.720 --> 00:02:35.970 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): What am I cultivating? What do I want to cultivate? 21 00:02:40.270 --> 00:02:42.530 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And we'll move slowly. 22 00:02:44.130 --> 00:03:00.279 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): beginning with inhaling and gazing up towards the sky. Eyes can be closed or open, but face moving up, exhaling down towards the earth any amount, maybe going at like 70% of your 23 00:03:00.430 --> 00:03:07.760 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): capacity moving, inhaling up, exhaling down. 24 00:03:09.310 --> 00:03:19.320 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): inhale now dropping your head to one side, ear comes towards shoulder, shoulder towards the earth, inhale back up. 25 00:03:20.430 --> 00:03:27.660 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): exhale other ear, comes towards your other shoulder, shoulder down. 26 00:03:35.080 --> 00:03:39.039 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): just moving on your own breath, rhythm side to side. 27 00:03:49.290 --> 00:03:53.439 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and on your next inhale, letting your head come back 28 00:03:53.670 --> 00:04:12.160 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): to center, and we'll, if you would like, roll the shoulders as much as you want up and back. Arms can stay down. If that's not feeling good right now, then, option to roll your head around on your neck. 29 00:04:16.800 --> 00:04:30.230 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I don't know if the mic picks up all the snap crackle popping that's happening over here, but just appreciating our bodies in whatever form they're in, you know, like 30 00:04:32.060 --> 00:04:51.270 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): crackly mobile, immobile, injured, unintered, tight, loose, and then releasing that movement. 31 00:04:51.580 --> 00:05:05.140 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and then invitation to stretch from side to side. So, moving into a side stretch, option to lift the arm up, or just to stretch to your side right? So your choice, however, you would like to stretch 32 00:05:05.670 --> 00:05:16.030 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): your side body almost like cat cow, but in the sides. So really taking some time to move with your breath. 33 00:05:16.790 --> 00:05:26.969 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): inhaling as you stretch, exhale as you return, inhale as you stretch the other side, exhale as you return. 34 00:05:27.890 --> 00:05:31.290 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): one more on each side. 35 00:05:37.640 --> 00:05:50.450 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and then we'll move into a cat and cow with our breath. So wherever you are, I'm in a chair, and I've got arms on the chair, you can place your hands on arms or your hands on your own legs, inhale. 36 00:05:50.550 --> 00:06:02.050 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): coming forward, exhale, rounding back, and how forward exhale. 37 00:06:04.140 --> 00:06:12.159 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and see if you can move this through your upper back what it feels like 38 00:06:12.320 --> 00:06:16.540 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): to bring this movement into your mid and lower back. 39 00:06:18.240 --> 00:06:27.109 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): You can stay right here, or, if you like, begin to circle your spine around, and we'll go in both directions, taking 40 00:06:27.610 --> 00:06:30.729 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): 5 or 6 circles, one direction. 41 00:06:39.970 --> 00:06:45.639 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and then 5 or 6 the other direction. 42 00:06:51.200 --> 00:07:05.960 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): noticing if this movement is stirring anything up, maybe moving anything through, particularly if there's things that are feeling a little stagnant, or that you're wanting to move through 43 00:07:10.110 --> 00:07:12.400 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): one more circle here. 44 00:07:13.320 --> 00:07:25.440 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and then couple different options. One is to lift up your leg and do a little cradle of that leg, and just kind of circle your leg around so you're getting into your hip 45 00:07:26.270 --> 00:07:28.040 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): one leg first.st 46 00:07:28.600 --> 00:07:34.600 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Another option would be to place that ankle on your other knee 47 00:07:34.990 --> 00:07:44.759 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and inhale, placing your hand on your foot and your knee, other hand on your knee, and exhale forward so like a figure 4 in your chair. 48 00:07:44.880 --> 00:07:49.909 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and just circle a little bit. I noticed that this gets into my hip. 49 00:07:51.540 --> 00:07:55.860 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): My glutes, especially when I circle around, circle my torso. 50 00:07:58.580 --> 00:08:07.409 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): giving some love to this area of the body, maybe circling the other way. 51 00:08:12.870 --> 00:08:26.180 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and then rocking the baby, as it's called. If you'd like like giving your leg a little love, maybe a massage on your foot, or your calf, or up your thigh, rubbing your glutes side of your hip. 52 00:08:27.640 --> 00:08:36.989 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): These parts of us that often do so much work, but I know, at least for me, like I don't always pay as much attention to. 53 00:08:37.230 --> 00:08:45.230 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and it can get tight from sitting or walking, and then 54 00:08:45.390 --> 00:09:13.670 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): offering care to the other side, and knowing that we're not symmetrical beings, right that, like balance thing is not true in our bodies. And so like for me right now. This side is very stiff. My hip is very tight, and so this, like I can't even really lift it up to demonstrate in the camera, but I can give a little rotation to it. So whatever feels good for you over here. 55 00:09:16.500 --> 00:09:22.220 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and then placing the foot on top of the knee, coming into figure 4. 56 00:09:22.970 --> 00:09:33.270 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Inhale, lengthening, exhale, folding forward a little bit, and then circling on this side. I feel that so just noticing 57 00:09:33.380 --> 00:09:34.999 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): what you feel. 58 00:09:41.310 --> 00:09:44.369 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and then exhale. 59 00:09:44.530 --> 00:09:46.379 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Go the other way. 60 00:09:56.560 --> 00:10:01.429 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): One more circle, cradling this leg and 61 00:10:01.900 --> 00:10:10.940 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): gently massaging your foot, your calf, bye, hip, or glute 62 00:10:16.210 --> 00:10:19.080 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): lower back, if that feels good. 63 00:10:20.710 --> 00:10:30.980 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and then as much as you would like to lengthen, maybe arms up or just forward, exhaling and folding forward. This could be a standing forward fold or seated forward fold 64 00:10:33.170 --> 00:10:35.390 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): releasing towards the earth. 65 00:10:35.540 --> 00:10:39.430 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And it does not matter how far forward you come. 66 00:10:39.840 --> 00:10:46.010 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): what matters is just bringing your energy down towards the support of the earth. 67 00:10:47.580 --> 00:10:51.740 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Hmm! What is my foundation? 68 00:10:52.480 --> 00:10:54.360 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): What supports me? 69 00:11:08.280 --> 00:11:16.019 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And then inhale gently coming back up to standing or to seated. 70 00:11:18.080 --> 00:11:29.050 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): If you're seated, legs can be out wide, feet planted on the earth. If you're standing a wide leg stance so feet wider than than your hips. 71 00:11:29.550 --> 00:11:45.110 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and we'll do extended side angle, so turn one foot out towards the side knee bends. If you're seated, same thing, one foot widens out, knee bends, and then forearm can rest on your thigh back arm can be up 72 00:11:45.380 --> 00:11:49.740 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): or just resting on your hip. Maybe another opportunity for a little massage 73 00:11:49.860 --> 00:11:55.419 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): gaze can be up towards the sky, centered, or down towards the earth. 74 00:11:57.110 --> 00:11:59.729 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Where am I strong? 75 00:12:02.610 --> 00:12:05.010 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Where am I resisting? 76 00:12:10.400 --> 00:12:19.920 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And then inhale when you're ready? Coming back up through center can be a Tadasana, or wide leg. 77 00:12:20.170 --> 00:12:27.260 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): wide Leg mountain, and then exhaling to the other side. 78 00:12:28.380 --> 00:12:33.399 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): one foot turns out to the side forearm, down onto 79 00:12:33.770 --> 00:12:38.890 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): front, thigh, and back, arm up or down, along your back. 80 00:12:39.870 --> 00:12:44.729 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): inhale and exhale, and I'm noticing in my chair. 81 00:12:44.890 --> 00:13:06.889 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Gonna be helpful for me to have a block bringing up the floor towards me. So if under my front foot, so if you're in a position, or there's like a prop could be a sofa or a chair or wall that would just help you feel this shape with a little more nourishment, a little more support be open to using support. 82 00:13:11.560 --> 00:13:15.509 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and then inhale coming back up. 83 00:13:17.130 --> 00:13:22.829 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and we'll come into another forward fold. So option here, wide leg forward, fold. 84 00:13:23.480 --> 00:13:29.679 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): exhale, surrendering, clearing out stagnation. What am I letting go of 85 00:13:29.810 --> 00:13:33.190 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): from winter, or from this time 86 00:13:58.340 --> 00:14:03.479 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and forward folds are often some of the hardest 87 00:14:04.440 --> 00:14:11.090 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): shapes. I don't think they're taught as challenging, but they bring up 88 00:14:11.530 --> 00:14:15.080 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): a lot, because they invite us into surrender 89 00:14:16.480 --> 00:14:24.180 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): on your next exhale, seeing if you can release just a little bit deeper, maybe releasing in the mind or the body. 90 00:14:35.390 --> 00:14:38.449 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and then inhale, coming back up. 91 00:14:38.940 --> 00:14:43.850 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): stretching in any way that feels good, so that might be arms up. 92 00:14:43.960 --> 00:14:48.579 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): little back bend, or palm tree, seated or standing 93 00:14:48.880 --> 00:14:51.940 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): hands can be at the heart, or up 94 00:14:52.060 --> 00:14:54.119 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): where they can be on the chair. 95 00:14:54.480 --> 00:14:59.260 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): just letting your back come up into like a like, as if you were doing. Cobra. 96 00:14:59.360 --> 00:15:03.000 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): like an arch face up towards the sky. 97 00:15:03.300 --> 00:15:06.210 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): counter, pose to the forward fold. 98 00:15:15.440 --> 00:15:19.579 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): What parts of me want to come alive this season? 99 00:15:20.610 --> 00:15:28.490 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Letting your shoulder blades meet and then exhale release. 100 00:15:29.120 --> 00:15:34.310 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): giving yourself a gentle hug, wrapping your arms around yourself. 101 00:15:38.190 --> 00:15:44.780 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): inhale open any amount, exhale another hug with the other arm on top. 102 00:15:46.810 --> 00:15:50.940 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and we'll practice a little bit of pranayama. 103 00:15:51.650 --> 00:15:54.690 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Inhale expanding. 104 00:15:55.480 --> 00:16:04.549 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And so for this Pranama option to find an easeful seat, or standing or lying down is wonderful as well. 105 00:16:04.880 --> 00:16:16.220 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): We'll use our hand so on our inhale. Our hand will open like a bloom, and on exhale it'll close like a Bud. 106 00:16:16.430 --> 00:16:27.600 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and you can do both hands if you'd like. I have my hands resting on the table, so it's you don't have to like. Hold them up. You can rest them down on your lap. 107 00:16:28.650 --> 00:16:36.020 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): inhale bloom, following your own breath. Exhale, but 108 00:16:39.500 --> 00:16:43.650 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): bloom bad. 109 00:16:51.300 --> 00:16:58.530 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): bud, and I'll invite you to practice like this. 110 00:17:01.180 --> 00:17:06.230 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): letting any insight or clarity. Come as you breathe. 111 00:17:07.829 --> 00:17:15.030 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): If the Madra is supportive, continue with that, if not, you can just breathe, and we'll practice 112 00:17:15.920 --> 00:17:20.419 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): for a few minutes, and then I'll guide us out with my voice. 113 00:18:43.320 --> 00:18:47.890 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): honoring the bloom, honoring the bud. 114 00:19:01.840 --> 00:19:07.389 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud 115 00:19:07.670 --> 00:19:12.519 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. 116 00:19:14.080 --> 00:19:17.390 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Life is a process of becoming 117 00:19:18.250 --> 00:19:21.630 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): combination of states we have to go through 118 00:19:22.500 --> 00:19:29.260 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): where people fail is that they wish to elect a State and remain in it. 119 00:19:29.500 --> 00:19:31.839 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): This is a kind of death. 120 00:19:34.130 --> 00:19:39.689 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Living never wore one out so much as the effort not to live. 121 00:19:41.250 --> 00:19:46.630 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Life is truly known only to those who suffer, lose. 122 00:19:46.870 --> 00:19:52.279 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): endure adversity, and stumble from defeat. To defeat. 123 00:19:52.800 --> 00:19:58.680 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Perfection is static, and I am in full progress. 124 00:19:59.700 --> 00:20:05.120 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Perfection is static, and I am in full progress. 125 00:20:06.070 --> 00:20:07.719 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Anna is then 126 00:20:14.730 --> 00:20:24.129 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): taking a deep breath in and out and letting your awareness stay inward. 127 00:20:24.400 --> 00:20:30.219 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): maybe taking a moment to look around you taking in form and color. 128 00:20:33.220 --> 00:20:43.259 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And I'm going to invite us into some journaling and reflection. You can just reflect in your mind. You can write in the chat you can share out loud. 129 00:20:43.710 --> 00:20:48.020 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): You can write in your journal. We usually take about 130 00:20:49.200 --> 00:20:52.100 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): 5 or so minutes to reflect. 131 00:20:52.590 --> 00:20:55.640 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And so I'll drop the questions. 132 00:20:56.060 --> 00:21:01.299 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): what's 1 truth I discovered or rediscovered about myself today? 133 00:21:01.410 --> 00:21:06.709 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): What imbalance am I currently noticing in my body, heart, mind, life. 134 00:21:07.260 --> 00:21:15.060 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): What seeds of into intention or harmony? Right, your kind of harmony? Are you planting this spring? 135 00:21:15.350 --> 00:21:23.150 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): What do I need to clear to grow? And I'm also going to drop the anisen quote. 136 00:21:23.560 --> 00:21:27.259 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): because I think I'm going to journal about that. 137 00:21:30.710 --> 00:21:34.559 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I've always heard the 1st part of that quote. 138 00:21:34.980 --> 00:21:38.599 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I love the depth of where it goes. 139 00:21:38.700 --> 00:21:48.369 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): So we'll we'll journal for about yeah about 5 min, and then invitation to share. If anyone would like to. We'll play some music while we journal. 140 00:22:08.730 --> 00:22:09.810 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Oh. 141 00:24:00.580 --> 00:24:01.810 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): you 142 00:27:03.090 --> 00:27:04.380 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): hmm! 143 00:27:04.770 --> 00:27:13.929 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): So, taking a few breaths, maybe finishing up your sentence or your thought, and then invitation, if 144 00:27:14.190 --> 00:27:18.349 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): you'd like to share to share in the chat or out loud. 145 00:27:19.110 --> 00:27:20.820 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): The space is open 146 00:27:29.550 --> 00:27:42.039 Bonnie@YogaConnexus: I was thinking about the balance of, you know, having a dedicated space for practicing, but also not becoming so attached to it that when it's not available you don't practice 147 00:27:44.120 --> 00:27:58.490 Bonnie@YogaConnexus: you know there's an affordable housing crisis. It's hard to have enough space to do everything. And so, you know I did lose, and we have a big enough house. It's plenty big. But I still lost my space, for you know, transition. And 148 00:27:58.660 --> 00:28:09.030 Bonnie@YogaConnexus: and I just was realizing. Yeah, it's it's good to have that, but also not being so attached that I stopped practicing when it's not available. So 149 00:28:29.790 --> 00:28:37.689 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I was reflecting, and thank you for that, bonnie. I was reflecting on spiritual leadership. 150 00:28:39.290 --> 00:28:48.850 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yesterday I was guided, or like what's the word scheduled to teach a class on hmm 151 00:28:49.180 --> 00:28:58.181 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): like Yoga for leadership for this these times, and I woke up feeling so. Not in that space, you know, and 152 00:28:59.720 --> 00:29:02.030 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): really discouraged and 153 00:29:02.950 --> 00:29:19.709 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): just blah. And so then I was like, Okay, I want to listen to like some spiritual leaders. And I'm like, Oh, my gosh! I don't need Adrian Marie Brown right? But like, who else? Right? Who else can I listen to? That will remind me. 154 00:29:21.490 --> 00:29:28.850 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And at 1st it was like I can't think of anyone. And then, I 155 00:29:29.040 --> 00:29:34.274 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): list ended up listening to an interview with Ruby Sales, the 156 00:29:35.320 --> 00:29:43.860 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Civil rights Movement leader and later theologian, and she talked a lot about black folk spirituality. 157 00:29:44.320 --> 00:29:48.290 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and just reminded me so much of 158 00:29:50.020 --> 00:29:57.770 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): like the depth, right like the depth of what we what we have inside, that we all are leaders 159 00:29:57.920 --> 00:30:03.639 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): in our unique ways, and we don't have to wait for someone to like step up. And 160 00:30:04.420 --> 00:30:14.159 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): but what's been really present for me. Is that kind of like spiritual friendship, right like, if I had a friend, and I do have friends and colleagues and people like you all. 161 00:30:14.610 --> 00:30:30.409 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I wouldn't be like, you gotta be a leader all the time, you know. It's like we go through moments where we really are in that space, and then moments where we're like, where we're blooming. And then moments where we're budding, or like, you know, cuddling on the sofa with our dogs, or whatever it is, or cats, or ourselves. 162 00:30:31.830 --> 00:30:34.630 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And so just offering myself that 163 00:30:34.840 --> 00:30:38.470 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): that spiritual friendship of opening to 164 00:30:40.060 --> 00:30:47.010 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): leadership when it's time, and then like cocooning when it's time, and it ended up being. 165 00:30:47.460 --> 00:31:00.709 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I feel like it. It felt in my body. I don't know objectively, but it felt to me like one of the best classes I've taught like maybe ever, you know. But it came from a place of 166 00:31:01.070 --> 00:31:09.779 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): deep questioning and and inquiry, and so I think, like the thing I'm 167 00:31:10.300 --> 00:31:18.839 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): working with is like, Yeah, really like, I say it, but really believing it and telling myself, like, I don't have to be 168 00:31:19.440 --> 00:31:26.630 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): on and like a leader in that way all the time, like I can be, you know, like 169 00:31:27.790 --> 00:31:39.539 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): needing just some downtime and some whatever like to like, detach and watch funny shows, or whatever it might be, especially at this stage in my life, you know, as I get older. 170 00:31:39.990 --> 00:31:45.999 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): So yeah, that kind of spiritual friendship also towards myself. That's the. 171 00:31:46.350 --> 00:31:49.839 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And I really liked the part of the quote where she was like. 172 00:31:50.310 --> 00:32:02.259 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Life is truly known only to those who suffer, lose, endure adversity and stumble from defeat to defeat. I'm just like, yes, that's so great like that makes me feel like, okay, I'm doing something right? 173 00:32:06.630 --> 00:32:10.400 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): So, yeah, I appreciated hearing more 174 00:32:10.400 --> 00:32:12.479 Linda Wells: And who's the quote by? Again 175 00:32:12.480 --> 00:32:24.230 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Oops. It's Anais nin. She's fascinating. She's a French writer philosopher. 176 00:32:24.540 --> 00:32:30.279 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and wrote a lot of like erotica literotica erotic fiction. Queer. 177 00:32:31.629 --> 00:32:33.289 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yeah. So 178 00:32:35.430 --> 00:32:40.709 Linda Wells: I've heard pieces of that before. I just didn't. I didn't know 179 00:32:40.870 --> 00:32:43.199 Linda Wells: that sounded familiar when you started 180 00:32:43.450 --> 00:32:54.210 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yeah, that 1st part of her quote is quoted a lot. I feel like it's like on the cover of books and journals and on cups and mugs and shirts, but not the rest of it. 181 00:32:57.610 --> 00:33:02.600 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Me, too, of like going deeper into people's teachings, not just 182 00:33:03.190 --> 00:33:04.060 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Surface. 183 00:33:04.500 --> 00:33:10.240 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yeah, yeah, that's me. I'm complete. 184 00:33:10.630 --> 00:33:15.789 Linda Wells: You can please. I guess I'm looking. I'm now looking at the quote. 185 00:33:16.080 --> 00:33:21.349 Linda Wells: Life is a process of becoming a combination of states. We have to go through 186 00:33:22.340 --> 00:33:32.740 Linda Wells: where people feel is that they wish to elect a State and remain in it. This is a kind of death, so that makes me think about 187 00:33:34.469 --> 00:33:41.740 Linda Wells: Deborah Adele, and her name might be Deborah, but in the Clay's book. 188 00:33:42.800 --> 00:33:46.399 Linda Wells: because I started reading it. 189 00:33:46.610 --> 00:33:51.779 Linda Wells: and then when it got to the part of talking about clinging 190 00:33:52.350 --> 00:34:03.870 Linda Wells: and how we're we're just moving through a state of a fear of death or losing things in this whole season. I think this season of my life is about 191 00:34:03.980 --> 00:34:06.300 Linda Wells: the holding on. 192 00:34:07.200 --> 00:34:09.830 Linda Wells: And so when I'm holding on. 193 00:34:10.139 --> 00:34:16.000 Linda Wells: I feel like I'm in that cocoon. I'm definitely in that cocoon place because I'm scared 194 00:34:16.409 --> 00:34:18.839 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): For the bloom 195 00:34:19.770 --> 00:34:27.429 Linda Wells: And when I bloom, that means it. Take I take on new and different responsibilities. 196 00:34:28.913 --> 00:34:33.949 Linda Wells: Do I have the energy to handle all those responsibilities? 197 00:34:34.370 --> 00:34:36.290 Linda Wells: Do I have the capacity? 198 00:34:37.833 --> 00:34:44.449 Linda Wells: And then, as I was practicing, I was thinking about 199 00:34:45.190 --> 00:34:49.720 Linda Wells: not necessarily challenging myself. But you could do a little bit more. 200 00:34:53.820 --> 00:34:58.850 Linda Wells: It doesn't have to be a lot. I I've been working a lot with 201 00:34:59.670 --> 00:35:08.900 Linda Wells: pendulation and titration. That's something like, I don't know if people are familiar with the terminology, but in pendulation it's that 202 00:35:09.420 --> 00:35:11.880 Linda Wells: we go from different extremes. 203 00:35:12.140 --> 00:35:20.149 Linda Wells: and titration teaches you that you could do a little bit of something that is uncomfortable and come back 204 00:35:20.510 --> 00:35:26.089 Linda Wells: so even like as we were doing our physical practice, there were moments when 205 00:35:26.380 --> 00:35:43.980 Linda Wells: we were brought into something that was pushing us a little bit, but then we came back to center. You came back to your seated mountain pose or easy pose, and then you did something else. We. I know that I have to do that more with myself, because I'm I'm a 206 00:35:44.420 --> 00:35:46.959 Linda Wells: go a hundred 20. 207 00:35:47.110 --> 00:35:49.069 Linda Wells: Then I'm burnt out. 208 00:35:49.180 --> 00:35:53.440 Linda Wells: Then I have to pull myself back. I have to like, tell myself. 209 00:35:53.940 --> 00:36:02.170 Linda Wells: or I have to force myself because I I'm having some mood disorder stuff. So I'm like 210 00:36:02.730 --> 00:36:05.730 Linda Wells: in order to get stuff done. I have to like push. 211 00:36:06.430 --> 00:36:13.259 Linda Wells: I have to force it, and then I come back to lie down and rest. 212 00:36:14.200 --> 00:36:20.420 Linda Wells: But as I was practicing, I was like, there's some places where I think you can 213 00:36:21.860 --> 00:36:23.879 Linda Wells: go out a little bit more 214 00:36:25.840 --> 00:36:27.359 Linda Wells: and go a little bit more. 215 00:36:28.210 --> 00:36:35.339 Linda Wells: and not be as afraid of what's going to be taken away in terms of freedom, or what's going to be taken away? 216 00:36:36.200 --> 00:36:48.440 Linda Wells: In terms of energetically, because I'm going to get something back, and I don't have to do everything. I've been working in the past 10 years on being okay with sea level work. 217 00:36:49.720 --> 00:36:51.916 Linda Wells: I don't have to do the most 218 00:36:52.820 --> 00:36:59.650 Linda Wells: I've been an overachiever my whole life, and it's it's a challenge to to say, pull back. 219 00:37:03.630 --> 00:37:04.360 Linda Wells: Yeah. 220 00:37:04.660 --> 00:37:07.119 Linda Wells: So that's my share. Thank you. 221 00:37:08.420 --> 00:37:14.490 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): You so much, Linda, and I love that pendulation, or like kind of titration. 222 00:37:15.020 --> 00:37:21.439 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I feel like that lends itself so well to trauma-informed Yoga and Yoga practices. 223 00:37:21.620 --> 00:37:38.480 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): because sometimes I feel like trauma informed. Yoga is taught in a way where we're like being so cautious and like we're not pushing ourselves outside of our comfort zone. But there is a way, I think, particularly with that skill, that you're describing 224 00:37:38.680 --> 00:37:51.630 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): kind of like expanding our window of tolerance for ourselves, you know, and feeling into where it's okay. And knowing we have a foundation we can come back to. So I love that in practice and in life 225 00:37:51.630 --> 00:37:56.370 Linda Wells: Oh, just that! That just made me think of something. So I taught a class last night 226 00:37:56.550 --> 00:37:57.220 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Hmm. 227 00:37:57.590 --> 00:38:08.069 Linda Wells: And so I for this class, because it's a studio class, you know. People come in, come out. Rarely do I have people that come more than once 228 00:38:08.360 --> 00:38:08.750 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Hmm. 229 00:38:08.750 --> 00:38:16.020 Linda Wells: Them because they just whatever. So I'm teaching a rocket inspired flow 230 00:38:16.130 --> 00:38:17.870 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): So that is 231 00:38:19.390 --> 00:38:29.349 Linda Wells: Some people call it Ashtanga progressive Ashtanga practice. I'm not an Ashtongi, but I do like Rocket, because it gives you options and choices 232 00:38:29.590 --> 00:38:30.240 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Hmm. 233 00:38:30.240 --> 00:38:31.370 Linda Wells: And 234 00:38:31.610 --> 00:38:43.110 Linda Wells: we got to I somehow we were in our balances. Yes, I had a plan. I don't know why I decided to put in 8 angle probes. 235 00:38:44.160 --> 00:38:45.139 Linda Wells: All right. 236 00:38:45.673 --> 00:38:53.679 Linda Wells: I can't do that physically like, but I didn't say that to the student. I said. It's going to look different in my body. 237 00:38:54.450 --> 00:38:57.780 Linda Wells: Some folks might be able to do more. 238 00:38:58.070 --> 00:39:09.910 Linda Wells: but I will. I can take the shape so you can get an idea. And I went home, and I was thinking about how these people are probably like, I can't believe she tried to teach us something. She doesn't know how to do 239 00:39:09.910 --> 00:39:10.800 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Hmm. 240 00:39:11.400 --> 00:39:22.489 Linda Wells: And I said, It's okay, like the teacher doesn't know how to, doesn't have to. I can walk you through it. I'm sure I didn't give the proper instructions on how to do it. 241 00:39:22.830 --> 00:39:30.010 Linda Wells: but I showed you that it's okay to fumble. It's okay not to have it perfect 242 00:39:30.260 --> 00:39:30.615 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Hmm. 243 00:39:30.970 --> 00:39:32.720 Linda Wells: Sorry that just sparked 244 00:39:32.840 --> 00:39:39.640 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): That I love that I think sometimes like that's the biggest gift that I've gotten from a teacher 245 00:39:39.750 --> 00:39:43.460 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): is when they show me they can't do something. 246 00:39:43.640 --> 00:39:51.435 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and that it's okay to to fall out of like crow, or what you know, like, whatever it is that we're playing around with. 247 00:39:51.930 --> 00:39:54.120 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): yeah, I love that. 248 00:39:55.430 --> 00:39:56.240 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Hmm. 249 00:39:56.670 --> 00:40:09.870 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): this is so rich, and I feel like sometimes in our pilgrimage in Pujas. I feel like I leave with more questions or like thoughts than answers. And and that's okay. That's exactly what I hope for. Actually, sometimes. 250 00:40:10.645 --> 00:40:12.489 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I'm really grateful 251 00:40:12.830 --> 00:40:26.680 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): to you for coming for your practice. For deepening sometimes. And, Linda, because I know you're just getting kind of acquainted with this space. Sometimes there's like 252 00:40:27.510 --> 00:40:38.950 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): 5 of us. Sometimes there's 10, sometimes there's 15. Sometimes there's 3 right? And it's always different. But I'll always have a plan. It'll always be connected to a theme, and then we'll also kind of 253 00:40:39.260 --> 00:40:49.964 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): move emergently with what's arising. So thank you to each of you, and I think as we close I'll close with chanting, 254 00:40:50.960 --> 00:40:58.652 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I've just been changing all the time. But the loca semasta suki nobavantu 255 00:41:00.390 --> 00:41:05.110 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): part of my daily practice now, and 256 00:41:05.820 --> 00:41:15.109 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): maybe if you want to share, like one word or 2 words that you're taking with you. You can share it out loud or in the chat, and then we'll chant together 257 00:41:29.700 --> 00:41:32.900 Linda Wells: I will say surrender. 258 00:41:36.960 --> 00:41:41.790 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Be blossoming and breathing, and I said, self spiritual friendship. 259 00:41:44.210 --> 00:41:47.720 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): So if you'd like, you can bring your hands together 260 00:41:49.030 --> 00:41:52.519 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): at the heart, pushing slightly, firmly. 261 00:41:53.060 --> 00:42:00.430 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and then releasing softening shoulders, softening jaw, softening eyes at the tongue. 262 00:42:00.750 --> 00:42:06.739 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): rest at the roof of your mouth, and gently breathe, or, if you would like you can chant along. 263 00:42:08.860 --> 00:42:24.420 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Oh, Loca, samastaha suki! No, Pavantu! 264 00:42:24.730 --> 00:42:35.439 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Oh, may we and all beings everywhere be happy, safe. 265 00:42:35.740 --> 00:42:40.120 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): free from our suffering, and full of everlasting joy. 266 00:42:41.420 --> 00:42:46.130 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Thank you so much for your presence. Thank you so much for your practice. 267 00:42:49.330 --> 00:42:55.329 Susanna Barkataki (She/They): bye, have a beautiful, beautiful couple of weeks. I'll see you if you're available in 2 weeks at our office hours. 268 00:42:55.690 --> 00:42:58.440 Bonnie@YogaConnexus: Thank you, Susanna. Bye. 269 00:42:59.880 --> 00:43:00.960 Linda Wells: Bye, thanks.