Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And wishing everyone a happy Shivaratri
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): today tonight. So this is like a very auspicious day for us to be gathering and practicing together, so welcoming, welcoming us into that, and would love to just invite you to put in the chat. You know anything about how you are in this moment. I have a little practice for us
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): to connect a little bit to Shivatri and then to reflect. And
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): but I wanna just begin with hearing how you are. And also, if there's anything that you
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): need or would like today, I've had one of those days that's been like.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): like, you know, I often do a practice where it's like moving forward, moving backwards. Something pulled you off to the side like it's been like the off sides kind of day, so I'm very grateful to yes, all over the place, feeling you. And so I'm just grateful to be in practice together, and also
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I was able to do my own practice. That's always really important to me as a teacher, to practice myself before coming to hold space. So I got to do that as well.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And yeah, just taking a moment if anyone else would like to share share.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yeah, lots of big changes
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): drawn to some presence and grounding, more focused and energized than you have in a while. Oh, that's great
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and welcome, Bonnie, as you're coming in.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yeah, welcome welcome. And so
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): today we'll be practicing a little bit for Shivatri. And so to begin, you know, the the primary way to sort of celebrate celebrate Shivatri is really to practice mana, to practice silence.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): so I'll guide, and I'll talk for a while. It won't like be the beginning. You'll be like, wait, where's the silence? But we will get to the silence, and we'll have some time, you know, a little longer than we usually do online in silence together, and then we'll move out of that into either journaling or some creative writing, and I'll guide you.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): So any before I begin, bonnie just I was checking in with folks, and
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): the general kind of vibe is like a little all over the place, but drawn to presence and grounding. Is there anything that's going on for you that you want to share anything that you need
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): today.
Bonnie@YogaConnexus: That sounds great. Yeah. You know, things that have been coming up for me are just you know.
Bonnie@YogaConnexus: kind of feeling like my white privilege, and how these things are affecting my friends of color first, st and just wondering, like holding space for them. And am I doing it right? I have no idea. So.
Bonnie@YogaConnexus: yeah.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yeah, yeah, thank you for naming that. And you know, just reflecting on like, the power of allyship.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): is so intense, because, of course it's like that question is, oh, often there for me as well like. Am I doing it right? Am I doing enough?
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): it's so powerful that you're there, you know, and that you're so it's okay, like we don't have to do it perfectly.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): But being there is, I think, so valuable.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I'll just share, Bonnie, because I'm raising that that question up I was reflecting on, because I have friends thinking about moving away from the Us right now, and totally understandable right? It's like, why do I not feel like
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): why is that not calling me, you know? And and I think there's a few reasons. And one is because
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I'm not actually, personally directly yet so impacted. And I can still be really useful. Right? So it's like, Okay.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): acknowledge the privilege, the great privilege that I have, and then my usefulness right?
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And and I think there's something to that of like the not not that people who leave are running away, but for me in my positionality, for me to avoid would be right like. There's no need for me to leave. I can be useful. And then I had the second reflection of Well, am I just like addicted or attracted to like struggle? And and I think that's a really important question to ask
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and the answer is, you know.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I I think it's like the commitment to the Bodhisattva vow right like as long as space remains, as long as sentient beings remain. May I to remain to dispel the suffering of the world? And I'll find that the full boat and put it in later. I think it's like, perhaps reframing for myself, like it's not really addiction to struggle. It's like commitment to
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): to service and to uplift so. And that includes like not doing it perfectly. So I'm glad you you brought that in
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): because
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): that also, though, doesn't mean we don't get to take the time for recharging and for self care, whatever our positionality, right like, we're going to be more supportive to others as long when we take the spiritual time, when we take the amount of the silent time, whether it's moments or weeks, or years or months, you know. And and so
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): we have a direct relationship to
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): like the biggest self that helps us determine what that feels like and looks like. And even if someone else is like, Oh, no, I think you shouldn't do that. It's okay, like, you have that direct relationship.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Yeah, thank you.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Okay, just gonna take a sip of water
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): inviting you to do the same. If you have some.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Hmm!
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Vicki is joining us.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): So welcome, Nikki. And just I'm gonna say folks names Alda Aj.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Bonnie Carly
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Nikki welcome. I was just saying, Happy Maha Shivatri. It's a very auspicious day for practice. So it's such a blessing that ours today. And we're gonna we're about to move into some. I'll share, so I'll talk. But we'll also move into some silent practice.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): so inviting us to bring our hands together, and if you've got other things like tabs open or things to do, just letting them move to the side. We'll probably practice for about 20 ish
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): or so minutes. Letting yourself really have that time and space for silence for yourself.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): so, rubbing your hands together, generating some heat, some light, some energy.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and then 1st stretching up and expanding your hands into the world.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and then, if you'd like creating a little like a bubble around you, imagining a bubble like whatever metaphor feels supportive, a bubble or womb, or cave, or kind of zone of peace, a zone of silence.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and maybe your hands are moving in front of you to the sides or behind.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Maybe it's helpful. Instead of envisioning like a small place, to envision yourself on the mountaintop, Shiva sits on the top of Kailasha the mountain. And what's now? Tibet.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Indeed, practice. And so when you feel like you've created that space.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): rubbing your hands together one more time
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and bringing them over your eyes.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): so letting your palms cup your eyes.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): letting your eyes rest in the deep stillness and darkness.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): If that feels supportive.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): inhale, and arms can come down, but gaze can be soft or eyes can be closed.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): rocking just a little bit, maybe forward and back, left and right.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): finding your place of inner stillness.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And Shiva is the Adi Yogi, the destroyer of illusion, bearing the way for new beginnings.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And there are many stories of Shiva. One is that
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): he and Parvati were wed. They were married on this night, symbolizing the harmony of Shakti and Shiva, the harmony of energy
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and consciousness.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And so, as you feel your body move, maybe letting it be like a rhythm. Right? The there's also Shiva's cosmic dance, the tend of a
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): this dance of destruction and renewal. And so I'm noticing my body just wanting to spiral a little bit in one direction.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): We'll have time to spiral the other way.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): So the story goes that long ago, when the world was filled with suffering and ego driven chaos.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Maybe not so long ago the gods and sages really sought and prayed for liberation.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and Shiva, in his wisdom. He was deep in practice, the story goes, you know, it's like eons, like hundreds, tens and hundreds of thousands of years, and he arose from his meditation and began to dance. And so, as you're moving, maybe spiraling the other way, maybe letting an arm come across your body or a leg if it feels good to lift up your legs, move in one direction and the other.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and with each movement he destroyed illusion
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and ignorance and suffering, and allowed space for new creation.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): letting your body move.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and because his dance was not just a dance of destruction alone. It was a dance of harmony, of balance.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Invite you in your movement to allow for one hand to come up in a Biaparta mudra, so at one hand out to offer peace, to offer calm, and then one foot can lift opposite foot doesn't matter which to invite freedom, right liberation
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and then exhale and switch. I'm just lifting my foot off the ground and my arm off the earth inhale.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and we'll move like this, and you can stay just moving
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): like that, or, if you would like, you can cross
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): your leg over to the other side. Right? So it's like same hand, same leg.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): same hands, same leg. So your choice of how you do this this dance
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and a few more breaths here.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): exhaling last movement and then releasing
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Shiva, was one to always internalize a practice. So, though the practice of the tandaba is very visual physical.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): There's also the internal dance. And so this dance of internally releasing, surrendering.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Perhaps there's something within that you wish to release and just letting your
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): mind, body, spirit, be with that now
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): honoring the presence of the quality of Shiva, the quality of clarity, of insight, of removing that which
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): gets in the way opening to fullness within.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And so we'll move into Japa repetition of mantra and then into silence.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And so you can repeat any Japa or mantra, or any word that you would like. Perhaps it's a word like peace or a word like
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): freedom power.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I'll invite us to do the mantra for Shiva. But again, you don't have to do Shiva's mantra, and what I find so
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): inspiring about this mantra is, you know, all day long, all night long.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): likely unbroken. For thousands and thousands of years this mantra has been chanted
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): to that quality of clarity and that quality of spiritual commitment.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and the mantra is Om nama Shavaya om nama Shavaya and
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I put in the chat in case it's helpful to see.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and we'll chant. I'll chant it aloud.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): about 8 times invitation to chant aloud
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): if you would like, and then for yourself, or to repeat in your mind, and then we'll move into a silence, practice a mountain of practice, and of course, in silence our minds might chatter. There may be noise around us. It doesn't mean you're doing it wrong. It's just a silence from which clarity and insight can emerge
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): deep breath in and full breath out.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Oh, nama Shivaya nama shuvaya nama Shivaya nama shivaya om nama Shivaya nama Shivaya
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): om nama Shivaya.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Oh, Nama Shivana, I'm continuing to repeat or to rest in silence.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and I'll guide us out with 8 more chants when it's time.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Nama Shira!
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Oh, Nama, Shiva!
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Oh, Nama, Shivaya nama Shiva, I am nama Shira.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Oh!
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Feeling energy of rest and release.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): perhaps reflecting on what you wish to release or dissolve and create.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and then I'll drop some reflection questions in the chat. So there's 2 possible ways to
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): to explore, and I want to guide us into this so, or you can do both. I thought that it might be instead of just journaling directly. Maybe we could do a little haiku, or like some poetry writing
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): so writing a poem or a Haiku haiku is 5,
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): 7, 5. So 5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables, and there's like a spareness there that I think really
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): connects with Shiva's energy.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): or just, you know, poetry of any kind. And then, if you prefer a more direct like journal
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): direction, then what do I need to release? Or when am I dissolving or letting go limiting belief or an attachment, an old habit.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): How can I cultivate inner stillness right like journaling, meditation?
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And what's 1 small way I can embody and honor Shiva's wisdom in my life in my day right now.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and so we'll take some time, probably about 10 min. Just so there's enough time for us to really like get creative, and I'll put on some wordless music to support us, and then we'll
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): come back into our circle.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Okay.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): me
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): clear.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Oh.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): the
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): we you e
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): E.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Whoa!
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And we
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): woo.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Oh.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): you know.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): t you
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): you
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): rules
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): wee
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): peace minute or 2 to finish up.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): If you'd like, you can drop your reflections or your poem in the chat
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): we see.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Hmm, hmm!
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Thank you for that practice.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I want to invite anyone who would like to read theirs or share theirs out loud.
Carly Joelle: Hi! This is Carly. This gave me a rare, positive flashback of high school. I haven't played with Haikus in so long. So thank you. So I came up with sitting with what is removing what does not serve
Carly Joelle: time to start again.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Taking us back to high school. I just want to say, I love all the online reactions. You can snap. You can do the deaf clap. I learned this as. And you can use online reactions, too.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I love it.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Hmm.
Nikki McMaster-Martorano (she/her): Thanks for getting us started. Carly. What I came up with was stand in my softness, releasing expectations grounded in my strength.
Alda Santana: I can go. I did not follow the haiku.
Alda Santana: I'm very bad at following directions, but.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): That's perfect. That's wonderful.
Alda Santana: Mine is burn, burn, bright, ash drifts, landing softly, and still life emerges from the embers. Life stirs in the glow.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): It's so beautiful.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Thank you. And I don't know if you can see folks are sending reactions, hearts and stars.
AJ Singh: I struggled, writing a haiku. I don't know if I've ever successfully written a haiku before.
AJ Singh: You can judge if it's successful or not.
AJ Singh: The quietude sings of thunder and firelight making things anew.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Waves of chaos. Churn fingers touch mountains of peace.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Power lies within
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): such a lovely way to connect to our practices, and, like despairing creativity words, and
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and even if you know it doesn't go anywhere, you just maybe you remember it as a
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Agatha, like thich Nhat Han. One of my teachers talks about like phrases.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): This is a practice in many different traditions, including there's a Sufi
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): phrase poem, really, that I'll share in a moment. That doesn't follow the 5, 7, 5 form, but somehow still feels like a like a mantra to me, and it's something that I sometimes repeat to myself or chant, and so you can use your words or other words as like a practice poem, right as like
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): a practice to come back to.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And so this one is, I'll write it in the chat.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Only within is the fire. I kindle my heart, the altar.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): my heart, the altar, and it is a Sufi poem. It was translated by Catriona.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Read a trans Buddhist meditation teacher that I've known for a while.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and so I'll chant it. And then, you know, if you'd like. You can make it part of your own practice, or share it
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): only within burnza fire. I kindle my heart. The altar, my heart, the altar only within burns the
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): fire, I kindle my heart, the altar, my heart, the altar only within burns that fire I candle
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): my heart, the altar, my heart, the altar.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And now repeating in your mind.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and swing just a little bit, and perhaps letting your own words, your own poem become your own mantra, your own practice.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): So I wanted to just kind of open up
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): to see if anyone had anything you'd like to share about
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): this practice or reflection during this time or
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): questions about Chimaratri or anything. Really.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): we have a little bit of time, and we, if there isn't anything we can also practice in silence.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Circle is open.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and I love this.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I think we should move into like a a peaceful
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): time of offering some love to our bodies
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): like a body scan. That is another way of entering a kind of silence. Silence like bringing that calm and quietude
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): to our own bodies, and I'll invite us to
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): close quietly. So when we close I'll just
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): close, because some of you might want to lie down. Turn your cameras off.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): just really let yourselves receive and have a moment. It'll be about 10 min of of nourishment, and
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): we'll just kind of float away into Mahashibharatri our day and night of deep practice.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): So coming into any posture or shape that allows for Stira and Sukha for ease. Really, maybe not so much effort. So maybe more Stuka or Sukha, more
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): grounding, more support, and breathing deeply.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): allowing your awareness to come to your crown of your head under eyelids, bridge of your nose
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): resting, bringing ease to your head.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): So the space between your nose and the crown of your head
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): to your cheeks, job
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): back of your head.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): bringing awareness to your throat.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Vishuda Chakra, noticing its relationship with Avnia Chakra, the center of your forehead, Sahasra, Chakra, the crown.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and allowing silence and ease through
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): your whole head, your whole energy system from the crown, 2 3rd eye
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): to your organs of listening and speaking.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): coming down from there to your shoulders, arms, each hand, palm of your hands, fingers
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): bringing silence and ease down your arms
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): next to your heart, letting your heart actual muscle rest and ease.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I think your brain, which works so hard for you, rest and ease.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): I'm feeling your Annahatachra, the energy of trust, of love, feeling space around your heart center
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and then bringing your awareness down to your belly midsection
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): kidneys on the back of your body, diaphragm the lunch.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): letting them all ease and relax
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): the liver and pancreas. These organs that do so much for us
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): sending some love and gratitude to these organs, letting them rest
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): belly, and your organs of digestion and elimination stomach, Colon, large and small, intestine.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): feeling, grateful for the ability to assimilate and release
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): this quality of Shiva that we do all the time bringing in and releasing
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): you were made for this, and it's an energy that each of us has direct connection to
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): sending gratitude to all the organs that allow you to digest, to assimilate.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): to expel and release that which you no longer need.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and bringing awareness to your regenerative system, whether it's physically there or not.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): This area below the belly button
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): that's energetically the center of creativity of flow.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): feeling that flow and creativity that's yours. Uniquely yours.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): sending some rest there, you don't have to create, you get to create and play.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): So, allowing this center to rest
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): down through your hips, each leg and into each foot bottom of your foot, resting and releasing
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): gratitude to your legs, to your feet
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): for all they do for you.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): energy of groundedness, connection to the earth.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): allowing it in them to rest.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): And now, feeling your whole body, your whole form, whether you connect to it energetically or physically.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and feeling the movement, the energy, and also the silence within.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Welcome to stay in the silence, or, if you would like to float away into your day.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): bringing the energy Shiva with you
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): on this Mahash of Rucktory movie embrace, stillness and silence let go of illusion, and awakened the wisdom within
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): and all around.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Oh, Nama, Shivaya, thank you so much to tribute to
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): the lineage all the teachers of this tradition
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): to Shiva, and all the energies that support our liberation.
Susanna Barkataki (She/They): Thank you.