Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Hello!
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Hello! And welcome to our office hours for December. And Hi!
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): So good to see you.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Hey! How are you doing.
Carly Joelle: Hey? I'm very well. Thanks for hosting this. It's much needed.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Yeah, you're so welcome. I'm seeing Juliana coming in, so I'll just bring her in.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): it's been so lovely. I feel like our office hours. And they're gonna shift again, cause we're like opening up Ycc in a couple
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): in a couple of weeks, and so we'll probably have more people, but I also really am enjoying the like intimacy, you know, and the small group. It's it's
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): wonderful
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): welcome. I'm going to make you co-host, Juliana, if you can just let folks in as they come.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): so we will do a little practice. And we did have one question come in. I wanna just
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): kind of like talk to the theme of the question, which.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and then we'll we'll explore it. But the theme
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): of the question is around estea and around, comparing ourselves to others right? So the the inquiry, on comparing ourselves to other great teachers.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and how that comparison, like we might know that it's us stealing from ourselves. But how can we get to the root of that
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): in order to have a different relationship with it? And I really appreciate this question because it's so like.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I think the theme is universal. That theme of of comparison, of finding the grass is greener somewhere else.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): you know, like
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): It just feels like
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): like such a universal theme and welcome. I'm seeing Jennifer Harmsa coming in. That theme of one like comparing ourselves to others.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): but also
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): finding our own self lacking or unworthy in some way right? And so it's like thich Nhat Han talks about it as Hi Jennifer, so good to see you. As the
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): the
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): superiority complex, the inferiority complex, and even the equality complex, which always like every time I'm like, oh, right? Right.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): so I'm grateful for this theme being brought forward, and the theme is estea and comparison, and kind of how we we get out from under that feeling of not enoughness or lack, or you know the habit, energy of it. I started to notice it as a habit, energy in my own life.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and what what we can do with that. So that's the theme of today's exploration. And also, whatever else anyone you know anyone wants to
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): who wants to bring.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And I think with that we'll begin with a practice. So yeah, Julian, if you can just let folks in as I'm guiding. If anyone else comes in, because I won't be as focused on on that. And then.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): wherever you are, if you're walking, if you're driving, letting yourself stay focused on the task at hand, if you can close down other, you know, browsers or things that you're doing, and just like, come back to presence with yourself.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and we'll begin right there, hands on heart, tuning into
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): this moment right here and now.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): inhaling, bringing your arms up and out to cactus arms on either side of your had, and then
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): twisting in one direction, letting your body twist your arms twist back through center
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and over to the other side.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and if it feels good to maybe begin to move the arms, inhaling up as you come to center, exhaling down as you twist to the other side.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): moving with your own breath.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I'm already getting warm.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): So doing what you need to do as you move.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): You know you wouldn't think this. This would be like a core igniter, but it is
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): so right there into the heat.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Inhale one more each side, exhale, arms twisting to the side, but focusing a little less on the
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): depth of the twist, and more on, like the power coming from your belly, from your chest.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And actually, I said one more. But let's do one more round because
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): welcome, Jeremy, I see you joining us. I'm grateful you're here and then
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): now my arms are quite tired. If you're sorry as well. Taking a moment to just stretch them out and then roll them and rest them back down. It might feel nourishing to circle your shoulders in one direction or the other.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): drop our one ear towards one shoulder, one shoulder down towards the earth.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and then opposite arm can be out to the side, jaw, soft, eyes gentle and soft, gazing down towards the
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): the ground, up towards the sky.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): bringing
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): the hands on the same side that you're leaning towards, up towards your temple, and giving yourself a little massage, maybe along the ear or along the side of the head and the temple.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and as you're ready, lifting your head up towards center
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and welcome, Dana. We're just in the middle of a practice.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Welcome to jump right in exhaling, dropping the other ear to the other shoulder and
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): finding you know we're not equal on on our different sides, like this side might feel a little different, looser, tighter.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): looking down towards the earth, sending the opposite arm away.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): softening your jaw, softening your eyes.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): reaching up towards your ear and temple on this side.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and then massaging, taking your time as you bring your head up to center when you get there.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): forming a little pillow cradle with your hands, bringing them to the back of your neck and resting back. This might be a gentle heart opener as much as feels good definitely, not like the most extensive.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): but just a little lift in your test.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): maybe gazing up towards the sky.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I feel this along the Erector spinae my muscles that run on either side of my spine.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and then exhale, if you would like a little bit of extra traction for a forward fold, letting your hands rest on the back of your head
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): as you fold your head forward, and it doesn't matter how far you come. What we're really going for here is just a
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): release and bringing your energy towards the earth.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Okay.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): he's surrendering, letting go anything that needs to be let go.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And now, resisting your hands with your head, finding that resistance.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): pushing your head into your hands, and then releasing.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): do that 2 more times a little bit of subtle resistance.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): engaging the muscles along your cervical spine, and then releasing last time.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and then gently inhaling, and this time, as you come up massaging along your neck and
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): back of your neck.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Maybe the occipital bone at the base of your skull, giving it a little care.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and then we'll bring our hands back into cactus.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and you can stay right here, or if you'd like we went.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Oh, my gosh! I don't know if this is laterally. Actually, I guess it is. We're going to twist to the side so arms can stay here. Or if you feel better and making this more of like, almost like a chikonasana or triangle in your chair. You can widen your legs out
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and just tip your your torso to one side, stretching through your side body.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): If you'd like a little more heat, maybe no support. If you want a little support, you can place the bottom hand on your thigh or on a chair or block.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Hmm!
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Play with your gaze. Maybe it's up past your fingertips. Maybe it's out to the front, maybe down towards the earth.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): One more breath cycle here
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and on your next inhale coming up through center.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): coming back into cactus and switching sides, deciding how you'd like to engage here. This for me brings more heat. If I place my hand on my leg for the chair, I get a little more support, and also a little more lengthening. So
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): finding the way your body wants to be in this shape today, knowing that, however you're in it, it's bringing the benefit of stretching through your side, body.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): changing your perspective, using down, up.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): letting go of any need for perfection. Right? But just being in the practice of this bend this side, bend
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): one more breath here.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): coming up through center
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): inhaling, and this time, as you bring your arms down a couple options, one would be to like, create, shoe off, cradle your your foot, you know, and kind of like cradling your leg.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): stretching a little bit into your hip and your thigh. Another option is to place that foot on top of the opposite knee, and then lean forward a little bit. Another option is to stay in whatever position you like and massage your hip right? So like to really get. Get in there with your own other limbs, and give yourself a little care
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and your hips
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): wherever you are again letting go of any kind of comparison to what your practice or your shapes might have looked like in the past.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): or what someone else's shapes look like I'm finding myself just massaging my whole limb like my whole right leg and thigh, and
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): that's what kind of feels right to me right now
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and then placing that foot back down if it was up.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): taking a moment to notice the difference and sensation, and then
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): again remembering different sides, different experiences.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): For some reason I've had like a
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): hold inner adductor muscle on my left side. So this side like, really, I cannot demonstrate bringing up my leg. It won't do that right now, you know. So
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): just bringing some compassion, some care, maybe doing something different than you did on the other side, or if it feels good doing the same
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): kind of thing that you did, little massaging, little rocking, stretching.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and when you're ready, releasing that leg back down.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I'm gonna invite us into 2
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): 2 or 3 last things to kind of go with this theme of letting go of Astea and non comparison.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): So we'll take our hands. We'll rub them together.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): generating some heat and some light
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and energy, and then take your hands and cut them over your eyes
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): so your eyes can stay open, just gazing into that kind of soft, warm darkness or clothes, allowing
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): your occipital nerve to rest, and we'll take a little time here like 9, 10 breaths.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): If at any point it gets to be a little much on your arms, you can always keep your eyes closed or gently focused and release your arms.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): So much of the impulse to compare.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): You know, remembering that it's coming through sense gates, right sensory gates, our eyes, maybe what we see, what we hear.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): maybe less so unless you're like a chef or something. But it could be like what we smell or what we taste
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): what we touch.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I'm still remembering that the senses they're just windows right? They're not necessarily reflecting truth.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): their inputs of information. And a lot of our Yoga Asana Pratyahara Pranayama like Dharna, Dhyana, all of the 8 limbs. So much of them honestly is
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): sort of geared towards seeing sense gates for what they are, and not necessarily like placing so much stock in them.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and so coming to what's maybe like the deeper perception, the deeper truth behind the sense gates.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): as you feel ready, releasing and letting that go.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And I thought we could do a pranayama practice that also plays with our sense gates. And you're welcome to use Shanmaki Mudra for this a couple options here. So one is just to keep your hands resting down. Another option is to place your pointer fingers to close off. What is this called this part of the ear. The
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): people pierce it, and I can't remember the part that's like the flap that closes off what you hear, so that part so you can close it off with one finger, or if you'd like to do the full mudra, you would close that part off with your thumb, let your pointer finger be at your forehead or your eyebrows, your
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): middle finger be at your eyes, your ring be at your nose, and your pinkies be at your mouth. So this is a way to like close down the sense gates.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and then we'll just hum
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): right like that and let it trail off as long as you want, and we'll do about 10 rounds. So a couple minutes of this Bramari bees breath
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): deep breath in, and we'll begin our practice.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Hmm.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): hmm.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): hmm!
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Continuing on your own breath, rhythm or resting in silence.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): No, in this space, turning your awareness towards estea, not grasping, not stealing
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): also the active practice of generosity.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and not just necessarily generosity and action, but generosity of spirit of thought.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): You know the Buddha. I think it's attributed to the Buddha, but I've also seen it written in one of the Upanishads, the
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): dictum, the phrase, as
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): your thoughts, so are your words, as your words, so are your actions as your actions, so is your character.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): as your character becomes your destiny.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and so part of our practice.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): To really embody these values
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): is to understand that there may be thoughts that are not fully our own, or there may be thought patterns that we've inherited from. You know our ancestors or just causes and conditions
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): that we don't want to carry forward into words actions, character, destiny.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and that it it's not your fault necessarily but it can be your choice not to continue.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And it's okay. If you aren't sure how or you know, find yourself in the same habit, habit, energy, the same kind of thoughts, the same kind of words, the same kinds of actions. I think that's part of the human condition.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and is in great part what Yoga practice like these deeper practices are here to support us with.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And so, if there's any place where
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): you find yourself noticing like just being really honest with yourself?
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Do I compare myself to others, and find myself unworthy or lacking in some way?
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Where might I be comparing myself to others, and finding myself superior or better, or
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): you know oh, they just don't know, or they don't realize, or
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): you know, let me inform them.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Such human impulses, both of them, such normal habits of mind.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and noticing, as you reflect, if there's like a way that
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): relating in either way whether the inferiority or the superiority
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): where that goes, what does it lead to? Does it lead to closeness? Does it lead to connection?
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Does it lead to more feelings of liberation, of happiness, of positivity, of joy, something else.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And then even the noticing where we might be like, oh, I'm just like them finding the the quality.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): We're the same. We're so similar.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): We're different. We're opposite. We're other right, the equality complex
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): in the ways that underneath.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): you know, we all have sense organs. We all have in in this embodied state.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Though we may not have all of our senses.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and they may not all function the same way, or
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): we have some form of input and relation with the world.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): But what is there behind that below that
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): that part of us that maybe is universal.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): that in the Bhagavad Gita is described as not being able to be killed or wetted or dried, you know, will not live or be born, or will not die
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): once you're ready.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): With this reflection on Astea, which, of course, telescopes and communicates with so many other aspects of
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): the Yamas and Yamas, like pari graha
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): non-attachment like Pratyahara, what we focus on tapas right like they're inter interrelated. It's a deep, deep theme in Yoga, this non-attaching to the senses.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): exploring where that might be showing up for you right now.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and we'll move in this sort of meditative state into a little bit of reflection and journaling about Astea.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Non-stealing generosity, comparison, and
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I'll play some music. I think if I can get it to do that, and we'll journal for
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): 4. So minutes, 4 or 5 min, and then we'll share together.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Thank you.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): taking a minute or so to just finish your thoughts.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and then we'll come back together.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and I'll invite you to drop anything you would like into the
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): into the chat, and I'll open it up in a moment for
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): kind of more like your reflections or other questions. But I want to read a question that came in
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and and answer it, and we built the whole practice around it. So this is your question, and you want to go back and
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): do that practice. It might be helpful or supportive. So the
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): The question was, I really appreciate the monthly issue that came out on Astea. Can we take a deeper dive into this? Specifically the comparing ourselves to other great teachers out there? How that comparison is us stealing from ourselves? How can we get to the root of that in our minds and bodies to overcome?
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And you know, I've thought about this a lot. I also want to open this up for other people to reflect right and share and and answer that question. I've thought about this a lot because one like
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I had a habit, energy. When I was younger I was very insecure, super insecure. And so a lot of what I did was like compare, find myself lacking, and then like try to go the flip side to make myself really whatever desirable, in whatever circumstance, you know. But it was always like in response to that insecurity.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and I don't know if everyone has that kind of like dynamic. But I definitely did. And so I've had to really
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): work on it
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): to the point where, about a decade, maybe a little less, actually, a little less than a decade ago, some of you who've been around for a while might have heard me share this before.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I was teaching Yoga teacher trainings in Orlando, Florida when I was living there at the beginning, and there was someone else who hadn't been for a while, but then they came back, and they were to teaching, and I was like, Oh, no.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): not another person that is talking about like the heart of Yoga and the roots of Yoga, and like, what are we going to do? We're in direct competition, and you know I could tell that her work was really good. She's really different than me, too, right
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): white, super flexible, like. She had a book where she had been like, you know, anyway, just very different. And
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I caught the habit, energy, and just decided to do a practice from the Sutras Pratipaksha Bhavana, which I'll share with us in a moment, which is like
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): essentially like the it's like in Ayurveda. The wisdom of opposites like replace the thought, you know. So it's like, I'm feeling like. Oh, no! How can I change right thought.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): word, action, character, destiny. How can I? I can't necessarily change the thought, but I can replace the thought so every time there's the oh, no! How can it become an oh, yes! And so I reached out to her and said, Hey, I love your work. We're doing such similar work. Let's let's chat. Let's collaborate, you know, maybe. Or how can I support you? So I chose to disrupt that cycle
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): with action. And we talked. We realized we were like, it probably wasn't gonna work to actually co-run a training, because we were just very, very different. And I was, you know, at that point I couldn't even put my finger on like some of the stuff was a little appropriate at that. You know that kind of thing, but I didn't have the all the clear understanding yet. I just knew it wasn't right to collaborate, but we decided to support each other, you know and kind of like.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): send the people that were right for that training that way. And the people right for this training this way and
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): it was so healing.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): It's not always that easy, right? It's not always doesn't always work so beautifully. Or but
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): it was a good beginning of then what became like a habit of, oh, if I see someone. And I'm like, Okay, share that thing right? Uplift that thing like, spread the word out, or perhaps like reach out to see if there's synergy and we can collaborate. And now
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and this has only come with like
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): right like I said, like it's probably been like 8 years of practice of this
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): now, probably about a year and a half ago. Somewhere around there it just clicked like, Oh, my gosh!
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): There's literally no competition. We're like the minority. I know. It seems like we're taking up a lot of space, Yoga and social justice. But we're like the 10%. Maybe the 20% of all of what Yoga is.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): So if we want to hit the masses, we all need to be doing everything in our own unique way, as full as big as possible, and all our workshops need to be full, we need all of us. And so, even if I feel like I have this moment of like, oh, we're in competition like, no, we're actually not. We're. We're just all helping this movement, and I hope you go far farther than I've ever got. You know it's like that.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): that switch. And so that line of impulse contraction.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): through the habit of changing my actions, it then changed my thoughts.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Right? So it's not always changing the thoughts first.st This is my experience. Right?
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Meditation? Yes, of course, right. And if you have time and space, and like you can sit in meditation. Maybe you have some. Aha! And the thoughts change for me it it happened through action. It happened through practice. This particular thing got rewired. I think there was many ways to rewire it.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): So the one thing I'll share
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and I'll drop the link to this. This has
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): other stuff, too. It's like a history of yoga timeline but in the sutras
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): sutra 1.3 3
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): is sometimes described as the locks and the keys right? And so this also really helps me. So Pratapaksha Bhavana, the replacing of thoughts.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And here like, if you've got like the actual guidance is. If you're around someone who's happy, then the key to bring to that is friendliness like, be happy for their happiness.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): If they're unhappy, have compassion.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): If they're wicked or unkind, maybe like, take space right? You don't have to be around to it or equanimity. And then, if they're virtuous, and I think of this as like virtuousness, right? If they possess some virtue that you yourself want, or also are cultivating.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): then gladness and support, and so that
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): guidance, coming back to not just thinking those things, but practicing them in action for me has been
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): the way to actually practice estea and to remind myself, like I have enough. I am enough, just as I am
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): okay. So those are my
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): my reflections on the question, and I want to open it up. If anyone wants to reflect on the inquiry around like, how can we actually, you know, handle comparing ourselves to other great teachers and get the root to the root of that in our minds and bodies to overcome.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): So we'll start there and then. If you have other things, we'll go there in a minute. But anyone have anything to add on that.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Justine. I know you might not be able to speak out loud, but I'd love for you to elaborate on what you said. Comparison is a result of our capitalist culture, too.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Oh, Justine, can you unmute.
Justine Ferguson (she/her): Probably help be helpful, you know. Putting the microphone down doesn't mean I'm unmuting right?
Justine Ferguson (she/her): Alright. Anywho, yeah.
Justine Ferguson (she/her): Actually, I've purchased a couple books on tyranny, and I'm about to do on tyranny and on freedom and
Justine Ferguson (she/her): your comp your chart there. I'm like, if people are being wicked, or if we have wicked policies. I know I'm getting off topic already. But
Justine Ferguson (she/her): stay calm, and
Justine Ferguson (she/her): I want to say, challenge and push back. I want to say that. But that's where I'm at right now. But the other piece to this about the capital, because
Justine Ferguson (she/her): where we are right now in regards to
Justine Ferguson (she/her): capitalism, and how people are showing up.
Justine Ferguson (she/her): I'm just making generalizations right now.
Justine Ferguson (she/her): but just from learning and and learning, looking at different cultures. And then
Justine Ferguson (she/her): I learned the most about my culture when I went outside of this country and saw it.
Justine Ferguson (she/her): saw it for what it really is, and how it's like I'm
Justine Ferguson (she/her): straight out. I did not feel that it's not a culture that values people.
Justine Ferguson (she/her): I feel like it's a culture that values profit and values. And please forgive me on my soapbox, but
Justine Ferguson (she/her): I and the comparison piece because I've been there. I've done that a lot, either as a teacher or
Justine Ferguson (she/her): just in general. That's the nature of the beast growing up in this culture
Justine Ferguson (she/her): is that we're always comparing. And we're always trying to get
Justine Ferguson (she/her): to fix it by either compensating with the
Justine Ferguson (she/her): more training, or also compensating with buying more, or just
Justine Ferguson (she/her): buying our way out of it, or
Justine Ferguson (she/her): don't have the words right now.
Justine Ferguson (she/her): I'm in a my brain's in nap mode so.
Justine Ferguson (she/her): But I do have to say that.
Justine Ferguson (she/her): Hmm.
Justine Ferguson (she/her): that I always want to come back to this culture because I do feel like that. That foundation of this culture, the capitalism. And I'm looking at other cultures that are healthier
Justine Ferguson (she/her): and wanting to.
Justine Ferguson (she/her): I want to emanate that I want to embody that.
Justine Ferguson (she/her): But my system, my nervous system, my whole body grew up in this culture.
Justine Ferguson (she/her): So it's also of an unlearning. And
Justine Ferguson (she/her): and I think it's also a very traumatic culture for a lot of different people, especially marginalized people.
Justine Ferguson (she/her): Alright, I'm done on my off my soapbox.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Thank you, Justine. I just want to really appreciate you're sharing yeah, anyone else.
Bonnie W. (she/they): I'm afraid if I get started I'm not gonna stop. So if you need to get like the the rope or the hook and like drag me off the stage.
Bonnie W. (she/they): So like the original phrasing of the question about like
Bonnie W. (she/they): comparing ourselves to the great teachers. And I
Bonnie W. (she/they): well, I mean, you know, having left the original method that I trained in because of how much abuse there was in it. I just feel like we have so much room to improve.
Bonnie W. (she/they): Yes, I was actually thinking of the gong show Carly
Bonnie W. (she/they): But anyway, and and you know, like bks, Iyengar said, you know his greatest hope was that his students go further than he did with Yoga, and and I always felt like with the actual Asana itself. I never really had an interest with that. But I definitely felt like.
Bonnie W. (she/they): you know, the nonviolent communication the trauma informed teaching, like all of that, were ways to improve upon what was laid out by our predecessors. So I guess it depends on what lineage, if any, you're coming from and what the history is there, because I feel like.
Bonnie W. (she/they): there's a lot of things I really don't want to emulate from my past teachers that I had to leave in order to prune it from. You know it was.
Bonnie W. (she/they): Yeah, it was like that quote about like what you think and what you say and your actions. It was all having an effect on me, and I found that I was being groomed to tolerate all of it, and to start behaving that way too. And so it really took a really strong stop and know to
Bonnie W. (she/they): rescue myself and and start over. So I guess I have some pretty deep feelings about the whole comparing to the
Bonnie W. (she/they): prior teachers, and then the non-stealing has also been coming up for me a lot. I
Bonnie W. (she/they): I was really torn about what to do after the election, and I. My instinct is to always act and do something and get involved. And it was
Bonnie W. (she/they): A friend of mine said Lead, with your heart and stay connected. And I, when she said that I knew, even though it had nothing to do with the program or the suggested guidelines, that I was just going to offer a Yoga and Social justice meeting amongst all of the other movement meetings.
Bonnie W. (she/they): And it's gone over, really. Well, it's been really kind of amazing, actually. But as I was late because I got
Bonnie W. (she/they): into writing an email.
Bonnie W. (she/they): this guy who wants to partner with me, which is great. It's just figuring out where we all are and not comparing. But I really feel like he's just trying to appropriate Yoga now, and and
Bonnie W. (she/they): and just put it like he wants to introduce, like the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence. Oh, and then we'll do a meditation that part for me. This is probably where you need to grab the cane and like Pull me off stage. But that was, that was what was coming up for me, was just making sure to give credit to the people that I do want to emulate that I do want to remain connected with.
Bonnie W. (she/they): and also not get stuff stolen from me either. So you know, I had shared a meditation. It was a variation of the Ahimsa affirmations.
Bonnie W. (she/they): That I tried to memorize Susanna's, and every time I came back I had a different version. So I was like, You know what? It's okay. This is Bonnie's, and Bonnie will write it down. And and I shared that. And then it's like, Oh, and can we say that after the Constitution I'm like, no.
Bonnie W. (she/they): So yeah, I'm I'm in a deep place of like figuring out like where the different places that everybody is at, and how to create connection without comparison
Bonnie W. (she/they): and help. Everybody move forward because everybody is showing up to, to lead and to, and to resist some pretty nasty forces that are about to be put in place. So.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Yeah, thank you, Bonnie.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and we'll come to Dana and Jeremy in just a second. I just want to speak to like
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): 2 things. One is like
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): great teachers, great teachers, right? Like when we put someone on a pedestal. It's also for me. I've had to really learn to
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): to look for the teachers who de-pedestalize intentionally, and who themselves and others, and who encourage individual expression, critical thinking, self sovereignty, and to reinforce for all of us
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): there truly are things that only you can teach, and only you can share
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): through your individual experience. And there are people who will never learn who will not be open to Yoga through any one of us in the space except for you. Right? And so
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): that yeah, that like greater, lesser, like, there's no, I think it's itself is a
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): trap, especially with all of the terrible things that so many of these teachers that we've pedestalized have done. And this is a whole other conversation. But
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): to me the antidote for not becoming that right, because I'm in a position where people are like. Oh, Susan, like there's moments where like, because Susanna said so. Right? I'm like, no, no, no.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): the antidote is we consistently naming not to pedestalize and to be in community. And this like we've been doing office hours for 5 years right? And and
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I learned so much from you all. So being in community and being open to always learning. So I just want to add that in
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): yeah. And I love that. Justine says I went to your thing, and it was great bonnie. We come to you, Dana and Jeremy.
dana wilk (she/her): I i. This is more of a less out of a share and more of a question which is.
dana wilk (she/her): as I was reflecting I was thinking of.
dana wilk (she/her): and and I really appreciate how you're talking about the yam as a yam as interweaving, and so much of yoga is just interweaving from one
dana wilk (she/her): from one aspect to another.
dana wilk (she/her): And so it's more of a question. I wonder if I'm off base in this thinking. But
dana wilk (she/her): I have learned an energy management practice outside of Yoga that I've been thinking of as Brahmacharya practice for myself.
dana wilk (she/her): and I was employing it over the last couple of days, as I was traveling with somebody to Orlando, by the way, with a whole group of people, and somebody's energy was very strong and very graspy and very dominating.
dana wilk (she/her): and I found myself kind of being like really drawn into that energy and be like.
dana wilk (she/her): Anyway, I I was. I did the practice, which is like the 1st part of this practice is let go of the energy that doesn't belong to me.
dana wilk (she/her): And then there's other parts of it that are that that I've learned. But I'm just. I feel like that's the that's the non grasping. That's non stealing. Here's something that's a strong thing, whether it's great or not fun
dana wilk (she/her): either way. I can just respond like I love the locks and the response to the locks. And I'm thinking, Astea, that that Brahmacharya practice that I'm employing.
dana wilk (she/her): or a way of doing, Brahmacharya that I'm doing is really also the estate of like. Let me not attach to the thing that does not belong to me.
dana wilk (she/her): And that's kind of my question is like, is that an off base question? Is that an off, base impulse, or does that? Does that? Does that make sense is what I'm saying.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Yeah.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Are you looking for an answer from me, or I.
dana wilk (she/her): Feel like I feel like, Oh, this, I guess this gets back to what I'm hearing from other people of like.
dana wilk (she/her): how do you know the comparison also. The source to me is like, oh, it feels true, it feel it resonates for me as a true thing. It feels like Satya to me in the moment.
dana wilk (she/her): In the moment to just say, like, Yeah, that feels right, and I'll learn more and
dana wilk (she/her): but just letting go of letting go energized of the energy that does not belong to me is seems like a good way to look at Satya.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Yeah, it resonates with me, and it brings forward.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): like my interpretation of the Bhagavad Gita, that section where it says, Do every action that you must. Do, you know, that's yours to do right like over.
dana wilk (she/her): Yes.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Of saying that like, do what is yours to do, and do not be attached to your actions. Fruits.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): This skill in action is Yoga, and and so that's like.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Don't be attached to your actions fruits, but also don't be attached to other people's actions right, or or the fruits of their actions either.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): yeah. So not. I mean, it's like, I'm all for questioning the texts, too, like, it's not like a lot of the text that we have are written in a very patriarchal way. So it's not like, because it says so in the Bhaga Gita. That's right, you know. It's, I think, ultimately
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): your sense of coming back to your own.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Does this feel right? Is this true
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): business and application of this principle?
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): That's what I would support, you know, following, not because the text says it, or Susanna says it. Or this teacher, that teacher. It's like all of those things are inputs. But you've got that you you named it so
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): going to that that inner sense.
dana wilk (she/her): I have like this. The thing that's the truest to me since I was little is like being with the trees and feeling what resonates is true, and that's my relationship to the divine. So whatever text says something.
dana wilk (she/her): my lived experience within my body of what is true
dana wilk (she/her): is kind of the guiding source.
dana wilk (she/her): Also, I just want to say, give like, there's the organizations that are doing really awesome political organizing right now that are somatically based. And people already maybe already know about this, but showing up for racial justice is doing some really really great political organizing right now, if people aren't already engaged and also working families party they're also collaborating with.
dana wilk (she/her): And so if people
dana wilk (she/her): want some entities that are doing awesome, non-reactive, really strategic political organizing, that those might be great resources if people don't know about them, and that are really looking at somatics. Showing up for racial justice really does think about somatics, and being non-reactive.
dana wilk (she/her): which for me, dovetails with my my Yoga practice.
dana wilk (she/her): Thank you.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): That's great.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I'm coming to you, Jeremy.
Jeremy Lewis (all pronouns): Hi! Oh, it's so good to see you. It's been months and Hello, everyone.
Jeremy Lewis (all pronouns): okay. So my piece of writing here was a little bit of an estea, a Parigraja mix, because I feel like one of the things that has. And, Susanna, you know this because I've stated it here before, you know. But
Jeremy Lewis (all pronouns): do I have to lose some of my integrity in order to have livelihood right? And I feel like
Jeremy Lewis (all pronouns): that has been a key. And then, when this season, the election season came up.
Jeremy Lewis (all pronouns): I had an interesting thing happen, which is, the week before the election my tapas started to smolder, and I was like, Okay, I'm doing something. And I just followed my heart and did it. Which is.
Jeremy Lewis (all pronouns): I looked at. Okay, this
Jeremy Lewis (all pronouns): country that we have. There is so much of the land itself controlled by land ownership.
Jeremy Lewis (all pronouns): by people who don't put the land's needs first, st nor do they put most other people's needs first, st and in particular the people of the land. The 1st nations, people that have been here still here, you know, but are becoming more marginalized by the second with a lot of these decisions, not to mention folks who might be, you know, queer or trans. On top of that, living with disability on top of that, you know, I mean so hard for everyone. But
Jeremy Lewis (all pronouns): this one group of people is just sort of behind a veil of what I call the great forgetting. So I became. This is, I worked in real estate in San Francisco a while ago, but my body wouldn't let me take the real estate exam and become an agent because I couldn't. I didn't want to profit from it, but I loved being around the houses and things. So I became a
Jeremy Lewis (all pronouns): private money broker for real estate deals, got myself certified, got myself really well connected to the point where now I can aid people in buying properties, and it's like my focus will be nonprofits, and also individuals who already, you know, have a place to live, but need to 1st of all generate income, but also generate housing for themselves. And so what
Jeremy Lewis (all pronouns): what stoked that for me was the feeling of okay, there's such a divide in our country. And I realized that part of my relative privilege. Though I am all the things you know I'm mixed. I'm disabled. I'm queer gender queer, but I have the ability to liaise between. And so what I decided to do was that. And so what was but what I'm saying? What sparked that for me is this feeling of
Jeremy Lewis (all pronouns): it was before everyone around me, and of course myself, too, felt some helplessness and despair with the election results.
Jeremy Lewis (all pronouns): It was like there was this bubble, this barrier of. I cannot do this because this doesn't fit with my politics. This doesn't fit with my true self and true feelings. And then, I thought, is my true self, someone who goes and solves problems. Yes, so this is where the Aparagraha comes in, because I have to let go of the
Jeremy Lewis (all pronouns): identity piece that I've created for myself, which is, as I don't have to not be a liberal person. I don't have to not be a you know human rights centered person. In fact, I still am. But I have to let go of that feeling of I can't, because and do it instead of how can I? Because people need help? And I see, indeed, how things are getting more unbalanced in our country and being someone who is.
Jeremy Lewis (all pronouns): you know, very land back focused and also food ways back. And you know all sorts of stuff. I want to be able to do everything I can. And so it seems very out of character for me, but at the same time I feel charged to do it because.
Jeremy Lewis (all pronouns): speaking of Astea, you know, I mean, there is
Jeremy Lewis (all pronouns): the fact that you know our entire culture is built on the land that
Jeremy Lewis (all pronouns): most of this entire culture didn't come from. And so it, you know. And there were, there was a lot of pushing out, and also with the wars, particularly in the Middle East. There's been such sentiment from so many of my communities that it's so challenging and painful. You know, with the
Jeremy Lewis (all pronouns): the communities that we're all in, probably have people who have, you know, feelings on all sides of it. But it's like, okay. Now.
Jeremy Lewis (all pronouns): I don't know. And and I do think that when
Jeremy Lewis (all pronouns): we have things that we have, we know we have relative privilege to be able to use, and then we don't use it.
Jeremy Lewis (all pronouns): Is that an instance of Astea at play, you know. So that's what I have.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Thank you so much, Jeremy, and so good to see you. And
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): yeah, just taking with me a lot of the I feel like your share.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): sparked lots more inquiries and questions for me, and I really appreciate that.
Jeremy Lewis (all pronouns): Email me call me, you know.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Yeah, yes,
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Also, it is time I feel like we could talk for another hour. My kiddo has a hip hop show, and it's really important to them that I'm there to go support them. So I'm gonna go. Go do that
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and honor that that commitment. And I think that's you know. That, too, is like.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): what are the things that bring us joy right in the.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): in the actions of not stealing from ourselves or from others or not comparing.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): It's honestly, really hard to be like Susanna. Don't compare Susanna. Don't steal, you know. Don't steal from yourself like
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): my behavior doesn't really change when I'm really hard on myself. It changes when I'm
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): giving myself Grace, when I'm giving myself compassion, when I'm filling myself up with other things that make me feel good, and when I'm around people who like love me and accept me for who I am, you know a flawed but trying human.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And so I really just want to thank the the questioner for this question, so so helpful and like, look, we all probably have many more thoughts right that will go away and
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and reflect on and explore. I want to just check to name out loud. We are in December.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): We will not have our pilgrimage in Puja, on which is on Christmas Day. So we'll be skipping that, and then the next time I will see you. All is on the first, st on the 8th in the New year, so many, many blessings to each of you
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): through the season, and the solstice, and the opportunity for that, like connecting with the light, and see you to you in the New Year.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Thank you.
Bonnie W. (she/they): Thank you. Susanna.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): By
Jeremy Lewis (all pronouns): Thank you. Bye. See you.
dana wilk (she/her): Thank you. Thank you all.
Bonnie W. (she/they): One.