Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Okay.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): so I'm just setting up captions in case folks would like them.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): So welcome to our April off, or
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): take in, let me take a breath.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I can't do 2 things at once. So
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): turn off
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): options for myself.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Okay.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): so welcome to our pilgrimage and puja for April. I'm really excited to be here. I feel like
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): there's just so much going on in the world and in our lives. And
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): right now, especially with it being after the full moon or in that full moon energy.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): It's a time where we can turn that all this
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): out back in
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): into an inner focus, for like a swaddia practice.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): So I wanted to bring that to us today, and then also take some time to reflect and journal a little bit, and then and then share. So that's where we're headed. But as we, before we begin, send invitation to drop in the chat, how you're doing, or if anyone would like to share out loud welcoming that into the space.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Yeah, you can drop 2 words, or if you'd like, and if anyone would like to share out loud. It's always lovely to hear your voices so
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): welcoming in you in. And then for folks who just came in, we're just kind of doing a little check in
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): either in the chat or out loud.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): alright
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): doing all right.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): tired and hopeful.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Yeah.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I've been seeing some folks sharing about
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): like the
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): the kind of journey and the work of
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): teaching, but then also sharing on social media and behind the scenes the stuff that no one really ever sees, like the editing and the planning. I've been reflecting on that, because just before I came on today, I was working on a presentation
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): for a company with Yoga, and and it took me all morning to make the presentation. And I thought, Wow! Why, why did it take me like 3 h to make a slideshow, you know, and
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and I'm still not quite done. So it's just one of those things where
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): the work behind the work.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): you know, and and the work that no one sees.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I also was reflecting today on the emotional labor. You know, it's like, sometimes as Yoga teachers
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): people are like, why'd you get mad. You're I'm too a yoga teacher.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Wow! That was snarky for a yoga teacher, you know. And and so one.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): the outside world sometimes holds us to a higher standard.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): but also quite likely we ourselves hold ourselves to a high, a high standard, you know, because we're trying to practice Yogic Yogic ethics.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And as we do it
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): as we practice.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): there's a lot of work happening there.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And so
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): just kind of foregrounding how slide Yaya can be.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): It can be really like useful, like, oh, how am I doing right now? How is it in my body? What's happening? What do I need? And it can also be
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): kind of like the intensity of self-development. I don't know if anyone here has ever done this, but I spent a period of my life.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Gosh! Maybe it was like 2 years. All I was reading was Yoga books and self-development books, and I realized, like
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): there was never a break. There was always some sort of striving to do better, to be better, to change, you know, in some in some way, and it was really exhausting.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And so for the last 2 years.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I it's funny. I've barely been picking up self-help books a little bit like
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): there's some really good ones that have come out. Actually. So I've been reading some of those, but every now and again, but the majority of what I read is either Yogic text
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): for fiction.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And right now I'm really into paranormal fiction. There's a whole genre of like midlife women's paranormal fiction.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And it's it's so fun, you know, and and I share that to say, like.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): also holding our Spa, yeah, our self
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): self-reflection with that
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): kind of lighter. Yeah, without the like, you must be better to like, oh, how am I doing
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): then? What's going on? What you know. So just an invitation into that
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Jane and Kranz? Yeah.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): feel like at periodically. I'm like, I need a book list.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I need a book list for these. There's one is her name JJC. Yends.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): think that's right, humans. I might have spelled it wrong. But but something like that.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): it's cool cause the the characters are. Also there's quite a few queer characters.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and I appreciate that, and like pulp, I don't know what you call it, if it's pulp fiction or pop fiction, some kind of some kind of fiction, but it's like little bit more relatable. While being a a good story. But all that to say as we begin this this exploration.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): it's bringing in like our humanness.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Right are
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): what you sometimes we might think of like as vices or the things that we're like. Oh, I was so bad last night. I binged Netflix like. No, maybe you just needed to chill right like and hang out and watch some shows and laugh, and you know, or get scared about something happening in someone else's life like
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): it doesn't mean there's something wrong
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): when you inquire, and you see what you need.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): It doesn't mean that there's anything that needs to be fixed or changed.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): It can just be you loving what you love, and exploring what you are exploring now that said like.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): of course, we can always grow and change. But we don't have to like point the finger or be so harsh with ourselves. I'm in big trouble. No, and I I I'm sort of externalizing my own internal stuff, for whatever reason, right? It's like the things, the stories in my head that that are there.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): that
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): are part of the path of
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): tending to myself in a more loving and more gentle and more kind way.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And you you may have different stories. You may not have these stories, and that's great, too.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): but just kind of sharing my own.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Any
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): anyone else wanna share anything. And I'm gonna
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): just give us a moment before I
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): a kindness and practice. I just have a sense that there's like.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): maybe something on someone's heart or mind
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): that wants to be shared.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): So we'll practice a little bit.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And we're exploring. Spa, yeah, yeah, today. So the first invitation is to
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): check in with yourself
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and then
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): continue that like, how is it with me? How is it with my body? How is it with my mind, my heart.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): through our practice? And so, if at any time I say something or guide something that
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): like, oh, I don't want to move my arm in that way. I want to light out, or I want to move differently. The invitation is to do what supports you.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): So I'm going to
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): invite the bell.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and we will drop into practice
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): your attention inward and downward
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): until all the parts of you that are touching the earth
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): chair.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Allow your breath to move easily.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): taking some time to scan through your body.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): not needing to change anything
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): inquiring, how is it with me?
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): How does it feel in my face.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): neck and torso.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): back.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): belly.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): shoulders and arms.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): fingers.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): hips.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): both legs.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): bottoms of my feet.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): How is it in my emotions?
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Sometimes it can be helpful to explore this
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): in terms of the weather.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): What kind of weather do you have on the inside.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): sunny, cloudy, stormy
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): lots of big, puffy clouds. Whatever the meaning is for you.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): vlad yaya means self study, self reflection.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): smile, self.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Tiah, study
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): one's own oneself.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and Spa
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): as part of the greater
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): capital S. Self.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): but absolutely and completely unique.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): No one with the same voice, no one with the same fingerprints or energy signature.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and hit completely connected to
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): all that is
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): enter
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): peeing.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And so practicing
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): this kind of
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): reconnection.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): a remembering self, remembering.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): resting in awareness
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): in our
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): divinity.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): observing yourself.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and seeing where.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): perhaps.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): that observation or awareness of something going on for you could be in your life
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): a challenge or a struggle.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): maybe at work or in personal relationship.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and remembering that we're expanding that self awareness out to
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): who else.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): known or unknown, may be struggling with a work challenge dealing with a
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): conflict with a family member
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): worried about this or that thing that you're also concerned about.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): You are not alone.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and these things that are so unique and feel so personal
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): can also be the very things that connect you
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): to absolute strangers.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Are they really strangers? They they like, you know the pain of loss.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): the pain and burn of desire.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): the ache of loneliness.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): the joy
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): of love and play
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): moving from
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): little S self
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): to the big S self.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): What is the study of all
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): of interconnectedness?
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And as we move into
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): some embodied movement.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): perhaps, if you're noticing any tightness or tension.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): move not just for your own body, but imagining that as you move, you can bring ease to everyone, experiencing tightness or tension.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): say on their shoulders or
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): in their value or test
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): everyone wanting more power, more confidence.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): more uplift.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): invite you to gently inhale, lift your arms, any amount
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): away from the earth.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): exhaling hands come down
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): to Heart center.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): inhale, lift up.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): twisting over
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): to one side, and if you have a chair there, maybe using the arms of the chair to help you twist from your belly.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): test
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): 10
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): softening
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): as you inhale and exhale.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Next inhale, coming back through center arms, come up towards the sky and down to meet at your heart
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): next inhale, acting up.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I'm stretching into a twist on the other side
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): once again twisting from your belly, your test your tin your eyes twist around last.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and hearing
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I was up towards the sky.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): down towards your heart.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): inhale them out in front of you.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): rotating your wrists around in circles.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): one direction and then the other.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): moving at your elbows, shoulders if you like, making wider circles around you.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): imagining that you have
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): a moon on your left and a sun on your right.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Use elemental
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): powers.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and then bringing your hands together, bringing together the solar and the lunar, the hot, the energy.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and perhaps bringing that into your heart.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): shoulders anywhere that needs it
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): receive.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And then we'll gently bring our hands behind our back, one arm behind your back, clasping the other hand. So hands are clasped on one side like mine are on the bottom right.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and then you can drop
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): your left ear over to the left, so, stretching through your right ear, and even right side body.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): maybe gazing down.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): gazing up towards the sky.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): opening and closing your jaw.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): releasing your hands, expanding them out
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): to the sides.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): giving yourself a hug.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Hmm!
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And exhale, expanding your arms out.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): rotating them.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): your hand wrists the other direction.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I'm reaching back
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): with your right hand behind you, left hand down to the side, so your hands are classed at the bottom of your left side body.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and they can clasp any way you want, so they can be intertwined, or one hand over the wrist. Whatever works for you, just to give your
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): shoulders a little bit of extra traction, dropping
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): your right ear to your right shoulder.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): opening and closing your jaw.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): looking down.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): looking up.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): inhaling, stretching your arms out to the sides.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Bring them around other arm on top for a big hug.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Hmm!
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Exhale, rolling forward into a forward fold. So option to take this in your chair if you're sitting, or to stand
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): fold forward towards the earth.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): nodding your head, yes.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): shaking your head, no
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): deep breath in
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): full big exhale
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): inhale coming back up.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and then standing or sitting up towards the sky, will bring our
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): backs long and straight, and if you're standing option to bring one leg up and place that foot in on the front of your thigh. If you're seated, you could do the same seated.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and then exhale, sitting forward over your leg, so, bending into
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): a figure 4 new chair standing.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and if you'd like a little more intensity, a little more heat.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): perhaps standing and bending your knee
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): for a tear.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): hip, stretch.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): You can always use a chair table to support you.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Inhale gently lengthening up, foot comes down.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): rise up above your head.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): exhale. Let's come to heart, center
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): the switching sides
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): inhale, lifting up your other foot.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): placing that on your thigh, seated standing.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and then exhale.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): sitting down.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): folding forward over that bent leg
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): really deepening into your hip.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Exhale
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): gently coming out.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): You're like down, finding
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): your arms
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): as we move up, and you lengthen.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): exhale, coming forward
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): forward fold.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and he'll rise.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): See!
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Coming back to
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): seated or standing and clasping your hands behind your back.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): any of any amount, so you can hold finger, clasp your hands low towards your back, or lift them and expand them away
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): from your body.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Head can gaze up
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): or down towards the earth, bringing a little more traction.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and inhaling.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): releasing your arms away, letting your hands clasp up above your head, and then exhale over to one side, stretching through your side body.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and so my stretch is on my left side. So if yours is on your right, really rooting down through your right foot, right hip
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): where your left foot, left hip and stretch and open.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): inhale, rise.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): exhale tilt to the other side.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): rooting down. Now on the side that you're stretching
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): can zoom, app
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and down.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): exhale.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Bring your arms down and around, giving yourself that
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): generous hug.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and then inhaling, expanding out
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): one hug on the other side.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and then expanding
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): as big as you possibly can
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): release.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Take
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): just a few moments
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): to breathe.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): to rest.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): You can let your body
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): rest.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): your eyes rest a simple gaze, or closing.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Just be with yourself.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): You breath in
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): deep breath out.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I'm going to ask some questions, and then we'll move into some journaling.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): So these are invitations, and if any one of the questions sparks you, and you just want to stay with that question you're more than welcome to.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I'll also
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): put them in the chat
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): personally, who are you beyond? How you present in the world? Perhaps another way of asking that would be like beyond the roles that you play.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): What does your body want you to know right now?
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Where are you in alignment with your purpose?
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And where do you veer from that?
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): What books, teachers or practices
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): have deepened your connection to the self.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): to yourself.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): with others?
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): How has self inquiry impacted, how you connect or get along with others
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): in the world. What legacy are you
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): trying to build?
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And how can your practices of self inquiry help you to do that?
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And who are you connected to through that legacy as well.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): So we'll take some time to journal first thought best that
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): no one is going to read this. But you right? You can share, of course, with us, but
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): really like, allow yourself the freedom of you're not writing to impress me, or you or anyone right like this is just like truly self truth.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I used to
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): think of this as like
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): the the truth talks right like what gets you to kind of crack to that real deep truth.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): So see if you can invite that in with your breath.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Play some music, and we'll we'll journal.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): A
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): you!
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Oh.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): a
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): a new.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): a
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): A
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): through
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): you!
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Oh.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): a
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): oh.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): okay.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): you
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): o
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): ooo!
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): A
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): a
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): oh.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): A
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): o
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): hmm!
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): So finishing up here
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): sentence, or
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): whatever you're writing.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): knowing you can come back to reflect more.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Maybe there was a question
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): that you're like. Oh, I want to reflect on that.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Think for me the one that stuck out today was, where are you in alignment, in alignment with your purpose? And where do you veer from that? Just like taking the time to kind of pull back and
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): reflect.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): So I wanted to open it up for
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): folks to share, and also like a reminder of that
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): dismantling and unpacking of perfectionism you don't need to share and be like I have it all figured out. Maybe you do, and that's awesome. But you can also be like, I really don't know. And this brought up a lot more questions, you know, than than answers. And
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): so all all types of sharing are welcome.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): So invitation. If anyone would like to reflect out loud or share in the chat.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Justina, love this
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): for the personal peace, animal lover and gardener.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I don't wanna define myself by work anymore.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I love that.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Yeah.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): that is very revolutionary in the world that we are in in a capitalist world that values us, based on our
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): roles and how we produce and consume. So
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I'm loving it.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Any particular animals, Justine.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): that you're feeling connected to right now.
Justine (she/her): Yeah, the cats. They always come around during Yoga. And so when, and so went to hugging the self, I was actually hugging a cat. He just came into snuggle because I haven't seen them all day so sweet. But I love in all animals but cats right now.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Thank you. Thank you for sharing that
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): anyone else.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Hmm!
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Cleo puts a heart with the cat picture
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): in the cashier.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and see
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): powerful.
Jillian: Who is
Jillian: Like just the questions of self inquiry. I didn't necessarily come from it. Come to it from us. Yeah, yeah. Like that wasn't the motivation. And it has absolutely changed. How I interact with my like, my relationship with myself. And so my relationship with others.
Jillian: I do a lot. I has given me a lot more capacity to
Jillian: pause and reflect and be like. Is this old? Is this new? Is this what's really happening? And how do I wanna choose to be in my integrity as opposed to just staying hooked in the reactive cycles.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Thank you, Italian.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I'm really resonating with that particularly, I think, in challenging relationships for me.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Anyone else.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Yes, Caroline, Hi.
Caroline (they/she): So this.
Caroline (they/she): So I don't know whether what I'm about to share. I'm really sharing from like a performative space, but
Caroline (they/she): so just comes with a bit of a warning
Caroline (they/she): cause when I'd been writing about what I might be on my roles, the only thing that had come well, what had come up. Was that an energy field?
Caroline (they/she): And then kind of
Caroline (they/she): kind of went on to answer the other bits, and then, as we were kind of sitting. I was kind of
Caroline (they/she): to be honest, being a bit like derogatory about like that reflection of that's what had come up.
Caroline (they/she): And then and then I remembered that it was just this week that
Caroline (they/she): been invited to do this exercise about our fields from
Caroline (they/she): It was from
Caroline (they/she): a
Caroline (they/she): disgracefully don't know their name, but they're like on Instagram. They're like called co-culture one. And they share indigenous practices.
Caroline (they/she): Around.
Caroline (they/she): And it's about like around like
Caroline (they/she): how people in how like, how people in her community introduce themselves, and really connecting themselves to the land of the land where they are and where they're from and where they're in right relationship to and what their yearnings are.
Caroline (they/she): and and how
Caroline (they/she): she was talking in this video about how
Caroline (they/she): you know when you've been really cut off.
Caroline (they/she): you know, from colonialism. From all of these things, then you become like a vacuum. And that's how this kind of cultural extraction
Caroline (they/she): kind of happens. And so she invited us to do this field, you know.
Caroline (they/she): So actually, on my other page in my journal, is my field of of all of these places
Caroline (they/she): is of, like all the lands that I'm connected to, and the stories and the people and the yearnings
Caroline (they/she): and the values.
Caroline (they/she): And I hadn't really.
Caroline (they/she): So yeah. So then actually realise that that was the answer to the later question of what practice had been really helpful in deepening my connection to self
Caroline (they/she): that's willing to share.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Thank you so much.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and I'm appreciating to your like proviso as reflecting on what I wrote.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): It's very vulnerable right to move from from from the truth, speaking like
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): sometimes, there's things that I think we.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): at least for me, like I'll write it.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): but it's like not quite
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): real yet, or true yet, but I'm still writing it, and then kind of reflecting on it and living into it, and then speaking, it is another layer, and you know. So so I just really appreciate you sharing.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Yeah.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): anyone else.
Bonnie Walker: So one of our last sessions I can't remember if it was office hours or another Pujan practice, but somebody we had talked about
Bonnie Walker: There was somebody who said something about oh, this I was had a conversation with another Yoga teacher who likes to make her students or their students suffer. And I was like, Oh, yeah, I can write a book about that. And and somebody said, Do it. And they suggested a book writing club, and I looked into it. I didn't sign up for the club, but I did get in touch with a friend of mine who is an editor, and so we are kind of exchanging.
Bonnie Walker: She just was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, so she can't practice like she like regular like she it's too much hands and feet
Bonnie Walker: flow classes. So she got a hammock
Bonnie Walker: like a aerial yoga hammock
Bonnie Walker: and so we're kind of exchanging her kind of editing and
Bonnie Walker: accountability, budding me, writing, and me just like hang out and giving her space, holding space for her to practice in her hammock. So
Bonnie Walker: So I was thinking about my legacy because I
Bonnie Walker: I'm writing a lot and
Bonnie Walker: I had this instinct that you know the abuse in Yoga is starting up again. It's it's reopening just like everything else after the pandemic.
Bonnie Walker: And then it turned out, it's actually true. I was trying to look up like
Bonnie Walker: Bickram previously, and oh, yeah, guess what he was in Vancouver, BC. Last year. I just.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): So mean.
Bonnie Walker: So I guess I was thinking a lot about legacy, and you know how
Bonnie Walker: we can protect ourselves like how we can really decolonize Yoga and and really provide protection for ourselves, so that
Bonnie Walker: these predators can't keep coming back, cause it's not just him that the other predators that I know of are also reopening after the pandemic. So,
Bonnie Walker: yeah, I want a legacy of a safe.
Bonnie Walker: decolonized nurturing yoga.
Bonnie Walker: Worldwide.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Oh, that's a brilliant vision, and something when you were talking about the
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): gosh! How did you say it was like
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): this, like you're supposed to suffer.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): How did you put that?
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And.
Bonnie Walker: It was a conversation between somebody at one of a previous ycc! And she said she had had a conversation that morning with a teacher who liked to make their students suffer in in Yoga class. Yeah. Yeah.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): That. And you're right. You could write a whole book on that. And we need that book right? And it's linked that mindset of saying I'd like to make my students suffer and
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): abuse. Now, of course, it's a continuum right, and I'm not saying every teacher who says that is a abuser or predator. But there's this.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): this continuum of perpetuating a culture of
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): power over or disembodiment disconnection, disempowerment that leads and lends itself to those things. And so yeah.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I'd be happy to write the forward just putting it out there. That's good for any of you who write a book.
Bonnie Walker: Thank you.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Supportive. Right? Yeah, when you're there. Yeah, any of you, whoever write on yoga, you can always reach out to me for for that kind of support. That's really part of I was writing. My legacy is like it's a really around
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): empowering right and connecting with others and uplifting others, and like there's a commitment in the Mahayana tradition.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): It's a shanty diva poem that says.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Gosh, I'm gonna look it up. So I don't wanna say it right? Wrong?
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): yes, okay, for as long as space remains, for as long as sentient beings remain. Until then may I, too, remain to dispel the mysteries of the world.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and I would
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): add on to
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): bring us all to our own expression of freedom and liberation, right like an embodiment and empowerment, so that that for me is like the purpose.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And so any any kind of actions I can take
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): that lead in that direction feel like it's on on path.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And so I just love that. What you're sharing, Bonnie, because it's also reminding me of
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): that shifting of vicious cycles to virtuous cycles like we? We get to be the legacy changers, and I also wanna name for other folks who are like, well, that sounds great, and I'm really excited for you, Bonnie, and you, Susanna, right. But
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I had to go through so much of the vicious part before I could get to the clarity part, and not to say that I ever anyone or myself ever deserved any of that. But it's been a process.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And so, wherever you are in that process is so.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): it's just so welcome. And I'm dropping the. I think it's Shanti diva
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): quote. Yeah.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Such a view. It's the end of a long poem. That tentative wrote
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): anyone else.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Yeah, sweet.
wade: Hey? Good afternoon. I wanted to respond to the legacy question on self inquiry.
wade: area.
wade: This is like a really deep one, because it's like
wade: what I've devoted my life to for the past 10 years
wade: has been
wade: moving back to my ancestral family's land
wade: and revitalizing like our spring summer.
wade: She camp where we used to migrate to when I was a kid.
wade: and I've been living out here with like no running water and electricity. And I live in a community where it's like
wade: predominantly elderly, because most people like the way capitalism
wade: and colonization has impacted our community is like people move off
wade: the res, or they move to like where the running water and electricity is like the border. The border towns we call them like the towns right off the Res, or like these development zones. And so
wade: it's kind of been like this process of like going up this hill like this like big
wade: or do? It's like a mountain.
wade: Climbing this thing
wade: to like
wade: reclaim
wade: space and land in my ancestral territory.
wade: And that's like what I've dreamt of, like my legacy is, is like to have a space for the younger generation to be able to like, come back home to and to
wade: have roots in in the space that's like, not the city.
wade: And it's like come to like a really big like
wade: moment in time, because of
wade: my uncle falling, and, like
wade: the need to like care, take all these animals out here, and, like my other elderly
wade: who are out here.
wade: and so like that's been like my driving force is like this legacy for, like the past 10 years. But like what's really come up
wade: in the self, inquiry is like how
wade: I need to like.
wade: I I need to meditate on joy
wade: and happiness.
wade: like to create that legacy because it's been like the narrative has been like about like suffering.
wade: you know, like moving out here and like learning to live with no running water, you know, like or like dealing with like
wade: the realities of like.
wade: yeah, like, not being able to like, turn on an air conditioning or like.
wade: if you want heat, you gotta build a fire like it's like a lot of work right? And so like so much of the past 10 years has been like making peace with like the suffering. But now it's like. Actually, it's like holding that space for like
wade: joy and like
wade: calmness and happiness and peace that's actually gonna like.
wade: get you to like the the top
wade: of like this mountain like you've come so far
wade: with like
wade: suffering. But like you're not gonna get up
wade: to where you need to go
wade: by like focusing on that
wade: like it's it's actually joy. And it's it seems so counter, because, like, there's so much work to do like all the time that it's like can just be like, Go, go, go like, get up and go.
wade: But
wade: it's actually like cultivating something that like while it's rooted in.
wade: You know, all this ancestral knowledge and tradition. It's still, it looks very different than how it's been presented.
wade: because it's also like
wade: taking on something
wade: from a generation. The generation that's been managing. It is like the boarding school generation, and all of that, like punitive
wade: mentality.
wade: And like
wade: that grind mentality has like driven
wade: like how things look and how they're shaped. But like in creating this
wade: reality for the children, for the kids like
wade: it, it needs center graduate. So that's a lot. But it. It's I don't know. It just brought up a lot for me. So I wanted to share about that.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Thank you for sharing. I saw some people have some like
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Ahas as well
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): about
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): like you've come.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I had my aunt. Was you come this far with suffering, and now it's like the joy is needed. It reminded me of one to not hunt, we said, like
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): a true practitioner, can always find a feeling of joy in any circumstance, and that.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and also of the the sunasine, the the renunciates, who.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): like they, either experience neutrality or a kind of joy, even in very challenging conditions. There's like a way that
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): it's like a spiritual
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): path.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): sometimes that spiritual path is very like we're on it through suffering, and then sometimes it kind of flips, and it can be the same thing. But it's just a totally different experience. So
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): thank you
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): so much appreciation for each of you.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and we're gonna close in a moment. I wanna invite you to
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): to if there's a takeaway or an Aha! And it may not even be fully formed. So you don't need to put it in the chat, but maybe just anchor it if it's there for you, for yourself, or like a
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): feeling tone that you're going to continue with.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And then
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I also want to let you know I'm working on
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): What's the word like
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): this is sort of some of the same things that some of us are working on, like not just defining myself by my
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): role or by my kind of job. And so
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): it's. It's a little bit of a challenge. I,
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): in the sense that I've been leading
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): office hours every week for 5 years.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and I think I've missed like maybe 4 and 3 of which I got a sub one I cancelled once.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And so one of my things
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): that I'm exploring is like, it's gonna be. It's okay. If if there needs to be a break like it's not, it's okay, like I can
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): cause there's a part of me that's so committed right that I feel like I have to be there. But all this to say, I'm traveling next our next office hours.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and I don't think it's gonna be practical for me to come on just because I'll be in Costa Rica. And so which, by the way, have scholarship spots. If you're interested, there's a few extra spots in that. In that retreat. It's in 2 weeks.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): But it basically pay what you what you wish, Spot. So if anyone wants a spot.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I'll drop my my email in, you can email me but
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I yeah, I think that instead of trying to like rearrange, or
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): have a subcom. I think we'll just say we'll we're gonna miss that office hours. I just wanna like check that out with you all before I officially make it official, because then we'll gather again at the end of at the end of May for our pilgrimage, and puja and
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): yeah, thank you.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): It's helpful.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): It's helpful to like.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): trust the
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): the community as well.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And yes, thank you. I'm really excited.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Yeah. Renew your password. Yes.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): yeah, thank you.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): So I'll see you all then, in a month at our next pilgrimage, and puja!
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And I'm wishing you so much joy and so much
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): care and so much support with you, that.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): many blessings, and so we can unmute and say goodbye.
Aviana Xochitl (she/her/ella): Thank you all. Bye.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Thanks.
Bonnie Walker: Hi! You're ready!
Cleo - Turtle Island: Everyone safe travels.
Justine (she/her): Goodnight. Safe chapels.
Justine (she/her): Thank you.
wade: Take care!
Caroline (they/she): Fine! Good night, everybody. Bye.
Bonnie Walker: Night.