Susanna Barkataki (she/her): So our theme for our practice today is on
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): commitment and recommitment to practice.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): We're moving into the time of
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): a Shiva, a Shivaratri like a Shiva a time of connection to the first yogi to the audio, be Lord Shiva. And so it's a really powerful time to commit and recommit to your practice
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and also to self inquiry. So today will take some some time to do that together.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And I'm just gonna look in the chat so as folks come in
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): dropping in the chat, how you are glad to be here now, tender hearted. Yeah, heart is heavy, but I'm here. Not everyone
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): nice.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): So many of us. I mean, it's like our own lives, things happening in our lives, things happening in the world.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): There's a lot. And it. It can get really heavy and hard, and the
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): reminder of practice is a reminder to come back to yourself. because when we're able to care for ourselves.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): then we can show up in all the various ways that we do.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): But if we're not caring for ourselves, then all the other things get overwhelming. And so I hope that part of what we'll do in our time together today is practice some of that self care, and also we connect to it in the way that it it supports you.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Yeah, feeling a bit broken today, but happy. To be here. Yes, and I, what I'm hoping folks are seeing is that you're not alone. If you're feeling
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): broken, or tender, or tired or overwhelmed.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): that that is.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): that's a shared sentiment. And if you also do wanna say if you're here feeling like joyful and positive and good, and all of it is welcome, right? The the awesomeness report, and the awfulness report. It's all. It's all welcome. It's all part of the the human condition. And
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I have been reflecting.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I'll just say these things before we move into into practice. You know, people just
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): in. I don't know what the correct term is, but like in maybe industrialized
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): society. Maybe someone can put in the chat. It's an appropriate word for for what I mean. But folks like not in, for example, India, to folks in the Us. And Europe, Australia.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): We're generally not getting communicable diseases that kill us right. The things that that are ending our lives now
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): are. besides, like all the various
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): oppressions and all those things, they're they're things like heart disease or diabetes, or, you know, respiratory issues or cardiac issues. And
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): all of these are exacerbated by stress.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And so I say that because I wanna call in Audrey. Lord quote around carrying out for ourselves is not self indulgence. It's an act of political warfare, right? It's a it's a way of taking care.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): So we live. So we continue.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and Yoga practices
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): a yogic lifestyle. And then specifically, Pranama Asana mantra
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): really, all of of Yoga. All of the limbs. Meditation support us in
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): caring for those 4 things that that lead to a less a life of less wellbeing.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): So there's all of this evidence that backs up and supports us. And I've been that's the world I've been in, in part, because sometimes, if I'm feeling kind of overwhelmed or burned out or tired.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): One of the things that I do is learn. It helps me to learn to to rest, of course, but also to like recharge in various ways. And so I've been in a place of a lot of learning around some of the benefits of Yoga that I mean, we know, but also that have. There's evidence based, you know, and support and different language around some. I'm sharing that also, because
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): for me it's been helpful to be like right. All of these things actually
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): are beneficial. And there's all these ways that they help me, and then others.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And then I'm pausing to look at you.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Chat. Yeah.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Grateful to carve out this time, grateful for my children, especially today, who all return to the nest. Oh, it's lovely feeling, heaviness of the world need to pause and yes, care for me, so I can show up as I feel tired. Yeah.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): weary, and wondering how to keep at it amongst so much pain and grief. Yes.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): feeling with you. So I wanna offer us, I think a a nurturing practice
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): today, and
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I'll invite you to. If you have a candle you can light your candle
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): If you don't, don't worry. You can
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): visualize a candle, or
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): you can look at this one if you would like, and then gazing at the candle flame, and we'll just be gazing at it for about
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): maybe a minute. So, looking at that flame.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and you can choose to look at the flame without blinking. or look at the flame with blanking. and let your awareness simply rest on the flame
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): without
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): worrying. If thoughts come, let them come and go.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Let the flame become internal.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): so you can gently start to flutter your eyes closed, or let your gaze go soft.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): If you prefer, you can still look at the candle
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): resting with the flame inside your mind's eye, now
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): inside your heart.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and everywhere you feel the flame.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): If it feels supportive, let the light, the light of knowledge, the light of insight.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): fill and soothe each cell.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): the
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): imagining that light through your mind
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): to your head and your hair. face.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): neck, and upper torso.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): upper limbs.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): front of your body.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): back of your body.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): lower limbs.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): every part of you that you would like. nourished by this glowing light.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Deep breath in
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): the light gets brighter as you breathe in deep breath out relaxing into the light.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): We'll practice like this for
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): sometime, and then I'll guide you with my voice.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): We'll practice with the light. just letting it. Phil and Nagasak
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): inhale breathing in
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): letting the light expand
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and exhale.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): relaxing and releasing into the glow of this night.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): For so many of us we can be
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): the lamp, the light unto ourselves
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and other times. We may need
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): little bit of illumination from others, from circumstances, from practices to re light are on shining.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and then other times. We're like the moon reflecting
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): to light up others.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and after
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): time and practice there becomes no difference between the source.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): the reflection. the reflected
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and purses Yoga, the Union.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): breathing in and breathing out.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): letting your awareness turn towards anything that
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): this feeling, like an inner truth
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): that wants to be illuminated.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): that might show up as an image, sensation.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): a word, or clarity.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): You're not sure.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): This being in the open possibility.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): knowing that this time
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Mahashifratri, as we move towards
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): the new moon and clarity. Clarification
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): allows a space to connect to your deeper truths.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and holding all of that commitment connection to practice, to truth within a container of self-care and self nourishing kind of self tending.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): So we'll transition into a little bit of gentle movement. If you would like, you could stay where you are, or you can drop your
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): right ear over towards your right shoulder, right shoulder down towards the earth.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and left arm out, away, stretching through the left side of your neck.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): maybe looking down. looking up towards the sky.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): The gaze is soft and still inwards.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): so anything that you could forgive yourself for.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): when you're ready, gently transitioning over to the other side, maybe using your hands to help transition your head.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And as I drop these questions no, I'll I'll write them in the chat afterwards.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): but they just there is like little pebbles being thrown into
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): the clear lake to invite reflections stretching now through the right side of your neck.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): looking down. looking up
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): so anything you can release or let go
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): gently lifting your head up.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and if you'd like taking your hands to your head, and giving yourself a little bit of a massage, and gently working your hands towards either the back of your neck or back of your skull, like under the occipital bone, for a light
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): back. Bend with a little bit of a neck release resting your head in your own hands.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): or another option is to place your hands on your low back and
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): enter into a gentle back bend with your heart lifting towards the sky, chin, and face up towards the sky.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): What is this moment, this time calling forth, calling forward in you?
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Maybe there's a quality or
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): some qualities, and then gently easing out of that back, bend into a forward fold, whatever that might look like for you. So if you're in a chair, maybe leaning forward, rounding your body and supporting yourself on your own torso, your own legs, or if you're over a desk, maybe leaning down over the desk.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): what are you grateful for? Even with all the challenges?
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): What? Maybe even like challenging things that are supportive of learning and growth, perhaps. Are you grateful?
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Gently walking your body back up and coming to
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): your seat right there in the center, not a perfect center and not anyone else's center.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): It is to your center right here and now, and that might take a little wiggling, a little spiraling.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): moving to feel where that is.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): any truths that are alive for you right now
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): we'll take a deep breath in
full breath out through your mouth.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): releasing.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Perhaps we'll do that a few more times this time we'll be then in 2 parts, and if you'd like, you can tilt your chin up on the inhale and then out on the exhale, and it will sound like this.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): So, breathing in twice
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): 2 sniffs in long full exhale
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): gently now moving towards. If you have a journal, or if you'd like to write in the chat. it put some of our inquiries in the chat for us.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and I'd like to place the music and invite a time of reflection, and then we'll we'll move into a little bit more, sharing together
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): the questions to reflect on. Then you can take them sort of first thought, best thought, and just go through them or move. Just one calls to you. That's wonderful, too.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): or something else. What might you forgive yourself for?
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): What can you let go of what qualities are being called forth in you now?
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): What are you grateful for and committed to in this time? What truths are alive for you right now?
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): These are the questions of the Yogi of the the idiogie right of the self inquiry that leads to understanding.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): So keeping that meditative presence and practice
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): move towards eternal play some music, and we'll write for about 4 or 5 min.
The
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the
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the
whoo.
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Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Some time to finish your
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): thoughts.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Part of the Mahashivadi. Time is connecting to the Tandava the great dance.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and that dance. You sometimes see the statues of Shiva with one leg up and one arm up, right across, and sometimes there's an instrument in one hand and and the
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): like. If the left arm is a left leg is a cross, so it's the. It's the movement of the great dance and the the dance of expansion and contraction, of growth.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): going backwards of conflict and of harmony, all of these things moving in all of us and in the world. And so I wanted to redo this quote.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): When one has access to mystical realms through deep sadness and detachment
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): to the material world, one is able to experience the Ananda Tandava. That's the the dance of bliss, Anunda joy or bliss, and tend of a dance.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): or movement. There are multiple dimensions of existence. One who has gained entry to the subtle realms of creation
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): will find that the dance of Shiva is happening in a ceaseless continuum.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): This blissful dance of the cosmic rhythm can be enjoined, enjoyed only after transcending body, mind, intellect, and ego, which is to say, in a state of union or state of Yoga.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): it's this is from Shankar, who is a teacher alive today in India.
And
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I really appreciate this quote because it reminds me that of what Shiva is right, like complete, serious devotion, like he spent thousands of years on the top of Mount Kailash in Sadena.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and then also total play part of his practice. Part of his Sadna is smoking Ganja, smoking hashish, and being in like
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): these Ananda joyful realms. So there's not one way to approach practice. There's not one way to to be. And so for many of us who.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): when we share it at the beginning, we're coming here tired or kind of broken, brokenhearted. That's part of the dance.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): It's not less. And and our joy, too, and our gratitude is also part of the dance. They're they're all needed
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): in and they're and they're not separate from one another. just looking to see if I have any other notes I wanted to share with you.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): yeah, I think.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Think that's it
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): for me. I wanted to take some time to open it up and to hear from you any reflections on the questions on the practice
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): on your satina at this time, or really anything that that because this time is a time of truth, right, and getting into our practice through that lens of truth, and particularly like turning truth.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): that gaze of looking at truth more inwards than outwards.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): If there's anything on your heart or mind particularly related to
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): what we explore here, like Yoga practices. Your journey, your unique journey with Yoga.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): That can be, you know. Sometimes I think it's so hard to have a space to just share about that in our world. Because
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): when people ask, How are you like? They don't necessarily wanna hear all of the depth of what's going on in my practice or not happening, or what I am confused about. But this is a space where that is welcome, so
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): all of that, to share the spaces open with the the guide of sharing from our hearts and listening from our hearts. Yes, trustee.
Justine (she/her): Hi, thank you for this. This is really
Justine (she/her): II. My whole body's now relaxed. So I have a T. It's hard time discerning between when my body's relaxed or tired sometimes. So anyway. But that's not why I raised my hand. The the the thing that
Justine (she/her): qualities of trying to
Justine (she/her): I'm trying to share is to step up, even though, and I'm sure you've touched upon this.
Justine (she/her): What I'm just to step up, even though things are going to be imperfect and messy looking, and I have, and that's the stuff I want to try to forgive myself for is the or let go of is the perfectionism
Justine (she/her): and the judgment and the criticism of yeah. So that's what's been coming up for me. And
Justine (she/her): and at the same time I'm grateful for my health.
Justine (she/her): And also the thing I'm struggling with is the truth I'm having is the
Justine (she/her): healthcare system
Justine (she/her): dismissing me with my stuff. So
Justine (she/her): yeah, that's what's coming up.
Justine (she/her): So thank you.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Thank you, Justine. I really appreciate you sharing. And I'm curious if you're willing to share. How are you working with the perfectionism? Because II find that
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): always a challenge.
Justine (she/her): a sec.
Justine (she/her): that's an area for growth for me.
Justine (she/her): that's always been an area for growth because of my, I've had rigid thinking. And also
Justine (she/her): there's also struggles to with executive functions like severe struggles. So So I have a way of what something supposed to look like, or my expectations are this high, and I'm here.
Justine (she/her): and I really
Justine (she/her): And if it doesn't get here, then why start? Why bother starting to do something? Because then I freeze. I know my, there's a lot of freezing happening. So
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): thank you for sharing that I can relate. I'd imagine other folks can relate to.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and I don't know for you but one of the things that's been helpful for me with with that that you bringing this up is reminding me to apply this with myself again now, is to like embrace the learning curve like, especially if I'm doing something new. But even if it's not new, even if it's something I've done before.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): There still can be a growth curve, and to not
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): to not try to rush myself. But just be okay with with where I'm at on the process.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and that it's gonna be different. So thank you for that reminder.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Anyone else.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Yes, welcome. Welcome.
Doaalicious- She/They: Hey? Hello! Hello! Can everyone hear me.
Doaalicious- She/They: Yeah, I can hear you really. Well, and how do you pronounce your name? It's Doaa. But I call myself delicious. Yeah. Hi, this is your first pilgrimage. Right? Yeah. Just writing down the prompt about the things I forgive myself for.
Doaalicious- She/They: It just made me look at it as I read it after I'm like.
Doaalicious- She/They: Wow, a lot of times. Most of the time. We're really hard on ourselves when our heart really needs tenderness. And when I practice Yoga, whether it's Asana or Pranayama, whatever form it is.
Doaalicious- She/They: I always go by Ahimsa.
Doaalicious- She/They: and this is the first word that struck out of my mind as I was reading what I wrote. I'm like. Wow, this is basically a visual reminder
Doaalicious- She/They: to try my best
Doaalicious- She/They: to integrate Ahimsa into this, because the reality is, it's like when we try to heal the gentler we are on ourselves, the able, the more we'll be able to do it, and also doing it in community. Had I not come here? I'd probably be like my brain would be spiraling, going.
Doaalicious- She/They: But then I was like, Wait, what is it that when we do this in community, whether it's virtual or in person. Everything changes like I would never do this alone. I'd be like, Oh, my God, yeah, I definitely like, forgive myself for this, but then the memory take me there.
Doaalicious- She/They: This is another thing, too, that I love about Yoga is the concept of community coming together? Not necessarily when we're like trying to think about. Oh, my God, we we have to all be friends, but just coming like every single person that's coming in is coming with the same purpose. And this is where this vibration, like becomes expansive and contagious.
Doaalicious- She/They: So yeah, thank you for that. Let's go and share that.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Thank you so much
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): delicious. I love it.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): The Sangha, the power of the Sangha.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I find my practice. It's so much different. It's so much deeper, you know in community, and even we'll see where we float to today. But I was envisioning doing.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): maybe, at least like a like a good chunk of a restorative practice with us as well and and
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and just, even being virtual, but all having that shared aim of relaxation and release that I find is so so nourishing. I just feel like in this time and again, especially like what people are sharing in the chat as well as what I'm feeling is.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I don't think we can rest enough right now. I think the more we can do Yoga Nitra, or you know, a 10 min. We, you know, relaxation, practice, or rest practice with Shavasana or meditation, whether that's sitting standing like all so welcome.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Hmm! I love the sound effects of your mind. Yeah.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I love this
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Carly. What you shared about
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): good enough is good enough for now calling things a first draft so helpful. That's help me loosen some of my expectations. I still do that. I do that all the time I have to do that, or else
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): things would never get done
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): anyone else.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Yes, Caroline.
Hi.
Caroline (they/she): just trying to do the technical background.
Caroline (they/she): Huh?
Caroline (they/she): initially, I wanted to just share about when you talked about the qualities, how I it just gave me the space to reflect on the qualities that I need in different spaces are actually different.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Hmm!
Caroline (they/she): And then I felt really helpful.
Caroline (they/she): so I just wanna say bye. And then somebody's just saying goodbye in the chat. So yeah, that was just quite helpful to discern, like
Caroline (they/she): in the different spaces that we are and where we want to be in the world, and how we want to be supporting and things.
Caroline (they/she): And then, when you asked us to just that it was the time for truthfulness. I just want you to come on and share that I'm actually quite struggling with, with grasping around the yogurt
Caroline (they/she): and curator. So I'm feeling quite emotional.
Caroline (they/she): Don't know why he was so emotional. But
Caroline (they/she): Sense of
Caroline (they/she): of feeling like time is rushing.
Hmm!
Caroline (they/she): That probably metaphor for life, you know. But
Caroline (they/she): And and not
Caroline (they/she): That kind of fear of like that grasping of like. Oh, I'm not going to be able to like grasp enough of the knowledge, and I know that, like it like literally, is like a manifestation of grasping rather than like.
Caroline (they/she): I wonder what I'll hear today, and likewise I'll know, like intellectually. you know, I can see intellectually what's happening it still physically happening. And like I know that
Caroline (they/she): I am with my relationship with the Yogi carrier like, I'm really appreciating it.
Caroline (they/she): but it it's almost like
Caroline (they/she): it's maybe something that I'm kind of connecting with
Caroline (they/she): at the moment. It feels like maybe like a couple of times a month, you know, or you know, anyway. So I just thought, I just bring that and like, even today, when there was this email, II almost like, had a panic of like, Oh, no, that means another month arrived, but actually sorry. It was just the invitation to come tonight. So I'll just come tonight.
And
Caroline (they/she): so yeah, I just thought I'd been Biddy, even though I also know it's not true. I also know
Caroline (they/she): the truth of. I am here to absorb whatever I can absorb whatever I'm here to learn. and
Caroline (they/she): and just thank you like it. And I'm finding that I am
Caroline (they/she): going forward. But I'm more going back. you know, like, like, I'm opening a chapter and skim reading it, and then
Caroline (they/she): so I can like
Caroline (they/she): like, see all around it and go okay, that bit that bit that bit. And then I'm kind of going backwards like I'm ready again to re listen to him, Zeron.
Caroline (they/she): I just keep on kind of going like that way with it.
Caroline (they/she): Resonate through till.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Thank you so much. I really appreciate you sharing in that way and bringing like the truth, and that that
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): grasping I also really to that
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): that feeling, and
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): for me it shows up as like
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and not trust like a not self trust sometimes or not trust. Sometimes it's outwards, like, I'm not trusting.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): whatever the teacher, the circumstance. But but
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I know for me it's like
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): so Tiknhan talks about
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): the Dharma rain, and he's funny because he he's passed now. But what you can hear his talks so it's like he's still around in so many ways, you know. But when he was here I would go to different retreats with him, and he would give
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): dharma talks, and sometimes they were like the same talks. You know, that he'd given the year before. Different times were the same theme that he would come around to.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I had this huge problem of falling asleep in his dharma talks because he talks so like kind of peacefully and slowly. This is in the first, like 5 years, 3 or 4 or 5 years. I kept going to the retreats, but I would almost always sleep in, which is also embarrassing like you're sitting there in meditation, and it was around. And I would like, you know, it's like this.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And even though I remember, there was one talk where my partner Erin, was like poked me like, I really wish you'd heard that talk, and
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and it was. But he would always say, you know, it's like the time of rain like, let it let it just let it just fall. However, it falls, and
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and then something shifted. I actually have no idea what changed. But in the last about 5 years, because II think I got about 10 years with him before he had his stroke.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): that didn't happen anymore. I was able to just kind of drop in, and and I often knew what he was going to say, because I'd heard the talks
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): but I was very present and very waken, able to engage with them in a different way than I had, and and they landed in new ways. And so I share that mostly just because
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I was very frustrated by the fact that I was falling asleep, I actually looking back. Why did I keep going. I don't even know why I kept going right, but I, something in me, knew that there was there was something there.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): so yeah.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): As he fallen over while sitting. I have not fallen all the way over, but I've definitely got like
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): they know what's happening right? yeah, it is. It's kind of funny. Oh, gosh! You almost keep yourself whiplash. So this is sort of
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): it's a funny way, but also, like
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): again, you're not alone in that feeling, and it shows up in different ways and at different times. And you know but that feeling, I think
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): so. It's so universal, and for me the the response I, for the most part, I think it's just to be
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): to show up when I can in our Yoga trainings. We're always saying it's Yoga school, not school school, right? So almost like taken
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): oracular approach like, if you had, I actually have my dear friend Asher Frost's cards, so I'll just hold that up as an example. But if I was going to pull cards from her oracle deck, she's an indigenous
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): leader, and teacher. The Sacred Medicine Oracle is the one I have, but if I was gonna pull cards I wouldn't look through each card on the deck. I would all the deck feel, and then just pull a card. And that can be how we relate with a program like Yoga class curator, or even a teacher training which is more linear, you know. Anyway.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): it doesn't have to be right. There's like
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): different systems of understanding and knowledge. So, and I have to remind myself of that like right now, I'm doing this research I mentioned at the beginning. And I'm kind of falling back into that western like
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): education, model like must take all the notes must must not miss.
Caroline (they/she): There's a sense of having completed it. I fit a feeling of like this Western way of like learning, of like, not completing like it's not completed. I've done quite a few courses recently, and just this sense of like.
Caroline (they/she): but but that really resonates with. It's that that way of learning that we're so so indoctrinated to be examined and be done.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Yes.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and we get to just play, you know it's the the the kind of a learning to, and of being with the learning and trusting
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Cleo. I love that. Who knows what you are absorbed during those snoozing naps. Yeah, it's pretty funny. I'm sure. I think, actually, probably goes in in some other way.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): It's sleeping. And so what I do sometimes is, I'll listen to like. If I'm in a course like this, I'll actually listen.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): you know, while I'm falling asleep now
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): to, especially if it's a soothing, you know. Not if they're going to be kind of erratic, and I don't want to know what's gonna happen. But if I've listened enough and I trust it's like a dharma talk or something. I'll listen at night or in the morning, when I'm kind of waking up or in my meditation, so it can be. It doesn't have to be so like
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): structure. Yeah.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): anyone else.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And, Carolyn, were you gonna say something else?
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Cut you off?
Caroline (they/she): No, no, it. There's no there was more thoughts that came up. But I really appreciate the conversation.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Yeah.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Well, maybe we practice. Think that would be a lovely way to end. I'm just looking at
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): someone dropped. Auntie, my Angelou quote, do the best you can until Avianna. Thank you, do the best you can until you know better then, when you know better, do better. Yes.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): so good. so good.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And then, Kylie, I just wanna highlight what you said around like that feeling wonderful in a cozy bubble of home and work life
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): which also can make me feel awful because I know my current reality is so far from the reality others are living within, and that juxtaposition of guilt or shame for good present good fortune, but not wanting to miss, enjoying the blessings because they might not last. And again, how relatable and real that is, and just like the practice of
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): privilege. We all have so many privileges. And II was with a
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Palestinian activists this last week, and one of the things they showed me they're like the media is not going to show you this. But it was in rough, and it was like a party, a street party. And all this joy and all this music and all like, and they're they're like
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): point was.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): we know how to live. We know how to live like we have been through struggle, but we also know how to have joy, and that no one's gonna take away our joy. And so that was a really powerful reminder. That
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): new human is is one thing you know, not one of us is all wonderful or terrible, or all good or all, you know, and
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and so just holding that, and like my practice lately, has been to fully feel the joy, and then to fully feel the anger and the grief when it comes, and to note like the waves. And that change.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): So I just wanted to touch in on that, because.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): yeah, we deserve to rest. We deserve to be happy. We deserve to be, you know, peaceful and creative and abundant, and also all things right, like all of that.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Yes.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): okay. So let's practice. And
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): wherever you are, you can find an easy way to be. This will be relaxation practice. I will probably go. I'll verbally know when we're at time, just in case anyone needs to leave. But I might guide like one or 2 min after. Just further.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): So wherever you are, and you can turn your camera off or leave it on, find a way to
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): feel the contact points of the earth, with your body
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): breathing in
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and breathing out
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and on your inhale expanding, taking up a little more space
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): on your exhale, releasing.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): letting the earth hold you up.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): letting your mind rest.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Does so much for us. So much for you, so busy. so full of thoughts. and they don't have to stop. but just taking some time to thank your mind
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): like he would tuck in a little baby or a burrito.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Thank you, mind.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and then bringing your awareness to your body. which also does so much for you.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): going here and there.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): creating, moving.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Thank you. Body
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): bringing awareness to your energy.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): that which pervades and continues.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): which animates life.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): feeling grateful.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Thank you. Energy.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): letting your mind to relax
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): your body, relax
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): your spirit. your energy, relax.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): nothing that needs to be done
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): into a shame, mind.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): body, and spirit.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): knowing that there's nowhere to go and nothing to do.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): perhaps somewhere to go, something to do
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): can gently bring this quality of relaxation
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): with us. knowing that it just takes a few moments to rest and think. All of
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): us, every part of us that is working, caring.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): doing. and also just being.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And so, as you're ready, you can blink open your eyes if they were closed.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): taking in form and color and space.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Then, thanking yourself for your presence. thanking yourself for your practice. close with the sound of deep breath in
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): full breath, out
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): creation, preservation, transformation.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): chance to
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): the union of Yoga.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): breathing in Oh.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Shanti Shanti, and on secty Secti Shakhti.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): peace, peace, peace and power, power, power, power.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): invitation
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): to continue the practice this week, and
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): we'll see you soon. You can unmute if you'd like, or just wave. Goodbye. Thanks, yeah.
Aviana (she/her/ella): thank you.
Aviana (she/her/ella): anyway.
Cleo - Turtle Island: Thank you, everyone, she cried.
Carly Joelle: Thank you bye.
Caroline (they/she): Thank you so much. Bye.
Tom Glaser he/him/his: Thank you.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): You. Goodbye.