Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Welcome, welcome, welcome everyone to our April
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): pilgrimage and Puta.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I am with you from Portugal. I am in Lagos, which is in the south part of Portugal. So i'm in a different place, just orienting you.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and it is night time where I am.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): It's 9 Pm. So i'm feeling for our European folks, our folks who join us from that time zone a lot.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and i'd love to invite you to drop in the tat.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): You know it's been a
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): an interesting time, a time of a lot of like reflecting on energy. There's a lot happening
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): in the
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): in the stars, but also in the world. And so I thought that, and it's it's a time of
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): one of the ceremonies in Yoga Vedic traditions that we
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): just moved through is a celebration of Haneman and Hanuman has the qualities of grounded bravery, of devotion, and of a lot of like self knowledge and self inquiry. To be able to know oneself so well that he can show up for others. And so I thought we would start with dropping in the chat
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): something that makes you feel
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): grounded or rooted or breathed.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and it could be anything could be a couple of things but things that bring forth the quality of
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): doing this.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): That
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Hmm.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Fresh air home.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): My husband's hugs talking to my family on the phone. Since I don't live near them.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Yeah, feeling sunshine on my skin trees.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): self-reaky practice and grounding earth, chord, visualization and meditation
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): trees, sunshine, green, or you plants sticking with the tough stuff. Yeah.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Speaking up for myself, holding boundaries.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): walking in the sunshine. It's a nice breeze.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): perfect on the Earth
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Rivers getting a good friend. Hmm. Tipping my feet and lake water
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): routine birds, and I want to sun getting fresh air, chanting Mantra
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): been spending time and devotion to. He had him on this this year, but to actually have a drinking water.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Yes, Cleo, their feet on the ground. I was just doing this before we started co-regulating with my little dog outside.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Yes, Rachel, and I just
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): so i'm in a new place for this just coming on.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): It's temporarily new. I'm visiting Katerina, who I work with and is part of the team and doing like a little
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): retreat practice.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And she lives in Portugal. And so the choices like we could meet on line, or you could come and meet with me where I live and such. Okay, i'm gonna come and meet you. Because how often do I ever have a chance to
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): to meet someone that I work with in person. And so in a new place. I'm very grateful to meet with her. And then there was a little puppy that looked like harmony. And so I got to co-regulate and just connect and really enjoy that that doggy outside right now.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): So
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): as we're all coming in, we're dropping if you would like qualities of I put rounded this. I like that, too. The round ground in this rounded means rootedness, bravery.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And then, if you'd like to have some water or a candle, I actually don't have the candle, but I have water, and i'm going to get one out of.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): So
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): this is my this is like a lavender
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): sachet that I sometimes bring with me, in order to
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): just have a quality of plants of earth wherever I am.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And so, if there's something that will help you feel more connected right in this moment, like kind of dropping the I'm Here i'm on zoom so like letting the zoom face go, the student face go. The practice face right like just really like, huh?
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Like how can I show up for me? Grounded? And yes, i'm here in a community, and i'm going to engage. But you don't have to put anything on to do that You can let let those things, those kind of identities or roles
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): go a little bit and just be in the space together.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Hmm. Yes.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): my cats, too. Okay, we'll do a drop in in just a moment, welcoming all of us
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): into the space, and
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I just want to announce our
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): winner this month of the sharing about about what your you love and what you're learning, Kiera Elliot, You have a beautiful share about why CC: and
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): so if and I will message you, or you can message Andrea, or
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): will be, she'll be emailing you if you're
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): let's see if you're here. And then
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): so congratulations, congratulations. Yeah, I think we'll be messaging.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): So that is very exciting. And then for those of you who are here. Just remember you can, if you like, if it feels inspired organically from what you're learning. If you share you want to, then you can talk that in the form, and you're entered to win.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And the one other thing I wanted to mention is that have a couple of treats. Speaking of like going and being in person coming up. And so, if you're interested in those.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): it didn't prepare this ahead of time. But I think I can find the repeat link, there's they're very specific and kind of
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): to our identity focused. And then one is for anyone who wants to work on solidarity practices, and that the solidarity practice one is in the summer at with to be valid practices for being a a change maker that works across lines of identity and difference.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And then there's a queer and transfer retreat at Kropalu also in the summer, and a
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): a retreat for folks of color that is coming up in September. That is really a deep dive into amplifying your voice, and if there's something that you want to work on and like, bring out the side of me that I don't often get to share. I'm happy to share here if you have questions or you drop questions in for our office hours.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): but like coaching and support, and really growing your your passions.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and could be your businesses or efforts to leadership in the world, particularly in focus for folks of color, because we often don't have those spaces.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): So those are coming up just as they're on my mind. Thank you so much, and
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): to mention, if you are interested in meeting in person.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): It's so.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): So I'm: joyful.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Thank you.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Okay. So what we're dropping in the chats. Besides, those links is anything that makes you feel grounded and rooted.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): connected.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Pause for a moment to see if anyone else wants to drop this in, and then we're going to do a little practice.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Hmm.
Okay.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Green tea.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): hugging my kids
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): hugs from loved ones speeding deeply in nature. Yes, switching the air around my seat with frankincense
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): feet in the earth.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): each walk.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Yes. tinting and singing. welcoming all of you. And if you're just coming in, reminding us that you can let go of like the zoom
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): face like student. You don't have to try so hard or worry about that. Just be, you know, be we're being together, we're exploring yoga part of this, as I wanted to
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): explorer. Some people are on that theme, but also runs through self inquiry through all of the
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): part of exploring is letting go
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): of the blocks, letting go of the things that we put on
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): the roles that we identify with the things where we're kind of trying or over efforting to just be like.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Oh, yeah, I love that where I'm good at that. Or I enjoy doing that, or i'm gonna rest. And it just happens that I started writing a poem, or you know it's
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): self inquiry can be can be.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): He's more easily aided through
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): less effort, rather than more so, an invitation into less efforts today and through your week, and with that we'll begin our practice. So you can
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): find an useful way to be, maybe sitting, standing, lying down.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I that you to breathe deeply
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and out
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): inhale, Raise your arms any amount away from the earth.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): See if you can lift your arms all the way up on your in here.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and then pause. and on your exhale.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Let's come back down.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): not to that.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Twice more, my own breath rhythm
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): this time. Inhale.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Twist to one side.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): If you're sitting in a chair, maybe using the back of the chair to twist a little deeper hand on the side of your leg. You're lying on the earth. Maybe you're twisting your knees.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): You're standing option to the wall wherever you are in. Now exhale a little bit deeper into the twist from your belly than your chest
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): nice on the next exhale. Lift in your arms up.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): take a moment
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and center to notice
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): how that feels
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): as you're ready. You can lift your arms
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): back up. taking your time.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and then exhale. twist to the other side
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): just as you did. Hmm for side.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Allow yourself to test in your belly than your test.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and then your eyes twisting around
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): here.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and how it's up
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): this time invitation to come forward towards.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and that might be on the table. It might be over your legs, feeling on the earth. Maybe you have a little more prone your choice if you're on a table, maybe. Use your hands and give your head a little massage.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): However, you would like to practice a forward fold.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Hmm!
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And deep breath in
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): deep breath out.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): taking your hands, giving your neck a little massage.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and inhale
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): back absolutely, slowly.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): rising up into a back end. And this could be a gentle background to the side, so you can
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): see me. So i'm just gonna place my hands on my low back.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Lift my heart up towards the sky
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): back behind you.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): If you find that your breathing is
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): constricted, maybe coming out just a little bit.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): meeting deeply.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): standing your test up
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and out in front of you. Your shoulder blades together towards one another.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): lengthening through the crown of your head.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): One more back here
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): gently come back to neutral.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Take a deep breath into your nose
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and release through your mouth or through your nose with a sound.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Hmm!
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I do that again, this time making a sound
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): you need pulling out through your lips.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): It's more.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Hmm.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Your shoulders up towards your ears.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Welcome back
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): down, Make some circles
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): with your shoulders
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): one way.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): then the other way.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): One more circle here
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): at least your shoulders actually let's bring them up towards our ears.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and gently or
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): quickly, just dropping them down.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): You can do that a few times with your breath, if you like.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Kind of like.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): We're letting go of some weight.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): something that maybe you want to brush off so this
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): one ear towards one shoulder.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and you can use your hands on the side that's stretching through your neck to give yourself a little size if you'd like.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): or stretch that out away from you. If you want a little more tension, you can bring
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): the hand on the side that you're stretching up and over to the side of your head, or even towards the here.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and get a little bit of traction there.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): pleasing down towards the earth
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): towards the sky
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Gently release your hand if it's on top of your head.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Use that hand to lift your head up, back to neutral.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Take a moment to feel how that feels.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): We shift to the other side. The other year certainly
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): slowly comes down towards your shoulder and shoulder down towards the earth.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): maybe using him on the Saturday stretching to massage.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Hmm.
Thanks.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): If you'd like on the side you can bring the other hand over
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): little traction.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): See what you'd like to do with that arms, stretching it out, you holding on to the side of the chair, your hip or back
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): deep breath in
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): knowing that each side is not equal.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): not symmetrical. If you don't leave symmetrical, live so.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Hmm.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And we don't usually have symmetrical bodies.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): So just kind of reveling in the tilt. The wobble
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): no like our Earth
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): doesn't circle the in a perfect circle. It's an ellipse that's part of why
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): we have all sorts of unique things, like months with different numbers of days and
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): No, no. there is the tides that come and go in different ways. There's so much that is not exact
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): in the universe.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and then you and me
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): one more breath here.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): using your hand to helping
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): head to center.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And when you find that place I invite you to start to make some circles with your body.
One direction.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): We'll spend a little time here circling in this direction, and they might be large and the next small. It's up to you how you would like to
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): take this invitation
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Be experimenting with making an ellipse, not a circle.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Maybe it's not exactly
yeah
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): symmetrical
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): weaves and bob and sifts.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and then circling the other way
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and taking a few circles to come back to
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): your center today.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): remembering that it's not a perfect center. It's your center right now.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): rooting down, feeling the grounding in the earth.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): One thing up towards the sky
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and noticing is your body naturally leaning forward. or naturally continue back.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And maybe there's something that you're excited about or nervous about that you're leaning forward towards, and bringing your awareness to that.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): that letting it drop away.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): No.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): not getting too tangled in the story.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And then we
I mean back.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Let me see if there's anything
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): the past
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): that you're holding on to
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): back also in this inquiry of
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): just reflecting on. Is there something
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): from your past, something you've loved, or something that you've done, or something that was part of you, or
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): you enjoyed
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): that you want to connect with.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Forward into now.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): It doesn't have to be some grand thing right? It could be super simple.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I can be sitting in the sunlight
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): like a cat
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): can be having tea.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): It's a loved one.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): It could be a sport. something with your body
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): that you enjoy thinking shapes
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): carving in the mud
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): my river stream.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): notice the senses.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): If you don't have any memories that feel
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): like once you want to bring forward acknowledging you, and
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): that, and inviting you to make it up to visualize or imagine
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): something that you think you might enjoy doing. You can see yourself doing that. You haven't done much of lately
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): That awareness. Forward
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): wiggling a little, maybe left and right.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): If there's any lipsies or unpredictable things
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): that have come up.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): things that maybe are like
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): the detour that
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): you have a usual way, that you go to work or usual way. You have your meals, or coffee, or tea, or something? Is there make a slight
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): different routes that you might take
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): invites in
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): some self discovery some self inquiry.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And even if you don't have anything you're thinking of right now.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): if you'd like, you can invite that
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): adventurousness that grounded bravery
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): into your day and your next week
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): this month
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): to stillness, or you can keep moving if you would like.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Take some time to connect with
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): yourself just as you are right now.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Not doesn't have to be
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): super deep or super complicated.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): It could be
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): what
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): to I love
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): right now.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): It is inspiring
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): passion or growth
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): right now.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): because
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): It's often wobbles in this, even in the
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): solo system and the
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): spin of the planets. Are there any blocks or any challenges that i'm experiencing right now
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): bring
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): to my awareness.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): acknowledging them.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): maybe softening a little bit.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): me expanding
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): view. Sometimes I think of those challenges or blocks
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): like right there. They like on literally on my block, or in my house, or, you know, right up close. But if I
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): pan out to
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): my neighborhood or
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): state country. the earth, or even looked down from
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): you from Space
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Doesn't necessarily change the block that that spaciousness allows me
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): to maybe think or feel, or move differently. That's it.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I'm letting that go
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): our final moments myself in Korea. inviting in
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): in silence connection with
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): either You're small as self like
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): you like For me it would be Susannah, or
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): big as self, like all beings inter being
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): interconnection.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I'm just seeing if there's any communication through sensation, color, sound
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): that wants to come forth
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): connecting with ourselves and ourselves. and i'll guide you with my voice
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): a minute or so.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Yeah. he's down knowing to come forward.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): We begin to move and write and talk.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): invite you to
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): keep this meditative focus. And then, if you have your journal, or you'd like to write into the chat.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): taking some time to write
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): anything that came alive for you.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): My communications. I have
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): explorations of yourself.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): We'll take a few minutes.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): See if I can play some music while we right
to
Andrea @alovincoven: Susannah You're muted.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Thank you.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): So I wanted to invite us into
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): a little bit of reflection on.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and in a moment i'll guide folks who would like to share
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): if you would like, into the space.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Thank you. Yes, I was talking
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): so connected with myself, but all I needed was myself in that moment
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): is
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): how we meet and witness and engage with ourselves. And sometimes it's in order to understand the shadow parts of us that
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): we might need to excavate and explore. Sometimes it's how we connect with our deepest joys.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): our sense of divine purpose. We're like.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): you know that kind of magical synergy when you say something, and then, like the place that you're in all of a sudden, you see a trek go by that has like a word that affirms exactly the thing that you were just thinking about doing, you know, like
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): this Isn't mine, but a a friend of mine who
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): did all sorts of other different work in the world, but was thinking, oh, I really love pottery, and then happen to see like
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): truck that was selling pottery going by.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And it's like. Oh, I think i'm gonna go back to school and became a potter, and is now a like a really wonderful
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): like she teaches at a local college, and she put pottery as her life. You know, from that that like seed, and then the synchronicity.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): So
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): i'm just gonna read something to you that I was writing about, because for me a big part of my practice is in reconnecting to words, to loving, meeting and loving writing.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and and yes.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): so to me. To us a deep emptiness arises when we forget how to connect with ourselves, leading us to experience. Sometimes confusion, loss, emptiness, lack of direction.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): It's like, yeah, yeah.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): provides an embodied path of self. Remembering. I also think of as resting in awareness
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): the idea that we are divine.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): universal consciousness and practicing with rest helps us explore
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): that connection and get to know ourselves in a much deeper
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and more interconnected way.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): can also help you in not getting so focused on the Us. Or on doing that you burn out. It can be a self calibrating check in
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): that Us. And many of the other energy practices provide the willpower to practice harder, even when you don't feel like it, and provides the pause
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): in which the inquiry becomes, how am I doing? What do I need right now. Who am I?
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Where am I going? Why am I going there? And there's so much wisdom in this past.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and I wanted to create a space in our on pilgrimage and puja to really take that journey into ourselves. And so I want to
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): invite in your voices, and that could be out loud or in the chat. What are you exploring and what came alive, and who I'm gonna need a little bit here.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Ada. Oh, so good to see you.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Hmm.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I have a desire to use my voice more and express myself. I'm really fired up by toxic workplaces co-workers. I'm so fortunate I will no longer work in this situation, and I just want to name. But I love that. You share this because I know there's folks in the space who are still in it. Right so just knowing there's
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): there's so many ways that we might relate to
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): our self inquiry, and it can be from different different windows on resonance situations.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I saw how much I suffered with imposter syndrome, and how much I didn't speak up for myself. I feel so activate. I feel so activated, want everyone to know that they deserve to work in an environment that feels safe to them.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and I know it's so much easier said than done, and it's making me curious how I can continue to dismantle the unhealthy systems that are present within me
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): while making real sustainable change. It is supportive for all folks.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): How can I dismantle the system without blaming myself or others? Yeah.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): how can I create a supportive narrative and own a safe space that can truly be felt and heard in a healthy, positive way. Yes.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): that that inquiry.
Thank you.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Karen, and you some piece so made some Kappa balancing. I related to T. And satin stillness, holding the warm cup as I said, helped quiet my mind. So it sounds lovely.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Hmm.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Would anyone like to share?
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Oh, my.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): you don't have to have stuff. I'll figure it out
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): by the way, to share like this. By yeah, it could be working through or exploring together. Yes, Rachel.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Okay.
Rachel (she/her/hers): I just wanted to comment on. I think, Savad Yaya sort of to play on what Rada said. Savad. Yaya helps me recognize. Oh, that's really not
Rachel (she/her/hers): the the impostor syndrome is not? It's not who I really am, I think, saved Yaya. It allows that
Rachel (she/her/hers): inquiry to recognize when that shows up because I think it shows up for many of us for lots of reasons.
Rachel (she/her/hers): And for myself, I've learned to be kinder to that impostor syndrome because it. I I recognize that that is a part of me that wishes to not be shamed publicly or otherwise. And so it's like, okay, I recognize you. You care about me, but you're not really who I am.
Rachel (she/her/hers): and and it also allows me to to note when i'm unskilful, and it's the difference between saying, you're such a jerk and like Wow! That was really unskillful like. Wonder where it wonder, or if I can dig a little deeper into that. So I I find Savadia to be this crucial tool of awareness, and and
Rachel (she/her/hers): allowing me to have a deeper self-love with accountability.
Rachel (she/her/hers): Thank you.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Hmm. Thank you for sharing that, Rachel. I just want to take a moment to. Yeah, like
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I really appreciate you sharing that. And I can still relate, because I know that i'm falling off my practice. You know that kind of self inquiry practice when i'm using words, or where the voices in my head are really harsh on me.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And so it's in those moments that i'm like, oh.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): right like, how can I reframe this because it's not that I like
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): flight like a lot for me is like, oh, I messed that up. It's so slightly. I don't know what i'm doing, you know, can't do anything right right. It's like a whole.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Let's slow down, you know, and it doesn't have to be
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): that absolute for defining my nature. and
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): because our true nature from a yoga perspective, and also just like I really believe this is.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): It's wonderful like. Sure, I can be kind of flighty and not grounded, but it's actually my superpower. And the ways that I need to come back and connect to being more practical. That's great. I can notice it and do it, but not from a place of self criticism.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): So thank you.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And, Jessica.
Jessica (she/her): Thank you so much. Everybody for your shares. That's having technical issues. I'm: like, how do I zoom again? So
Jessica (she/her): you know. Yeah, yeah, is tough for me because
Jessica (she/her): I get stuck on a loop
Jessica (she/her): in my head where i'm doing so much self-examination
Jessica (she/her): that I end up in decision paralysis.
Jessica (she/her): and I can't move forward. And so you know, if anything, when I when I see this one, i'm like, oh, got it. But like now i'm trying to learn how to do that
Jessica (she/her): with self compassion. trying to pay attention to the negative voices that come up in my head, and whose voices those actually are.
Jessica (she/her): and a lot of the time like 99 of the time. It's not mine. It's something that someone said to me in the past that I've held on to, and then I really look at it. It's like 15 years ago. So you know, examining that, and really shutting light on the reality of those voices in my mind.
Jessica (she/her): and then trying to move into action even when it's not exactly perfect, even when i'm scared.
Jessica (she/her): And i'm teaching my first full yoga class this weekend and i'm terrified. But i'm also really excited.
Jessica (she/her): And yeah, i'm going to do it, Anyway, i'm going to stop overthinking it, Thank you, and just show up, you know.
Jessica (she/her): and
Jessica (she/her): bring that sense of compassion to myself. It's a free Yoga class community class. No one's expecting it to be perfect. They all know that i'm a new teacher. So. But yeah, like, I have overthought it and never thought it enough. And now it's time to move into action.
Jessica (she/her): But that's what I always get really
Jessica (she/her): caught up on
Jessica (she/her): with this future. So
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): yes, thank you for sharing Jessica.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Yeah, how many folks can relate to overthinking. And yeah, I can definitely relate to that. I've been practicing with in my body
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): because we are embodied right? We're not just brains. We're not just thoughts like floating around, and
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): our bodies have so much wisdom to give us. And so for me, being a kind of heady person in a lot of ways I've had to learn to like. Trust my intuition to feel like oh, that doesn't feel
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): right, or I have this feeling to go down that path, or you know it can be tricky to, because for me, before I teach, especially if i'm nervous like, the sensations of my body, are very intense. And actually for me, sometimes unpleasant, you know, like my heart's beating and clammy. And i'm sweaty.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and it's like, okay.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): There's also excitement. And there's also joy and there's also curiosity, right? So it's feeling bodily sensations and get in a way getting out of just my head. That's helped me practice by that as an in body practice. So I don't know if that
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): that's something that can be
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): to be something you explore. Jessica.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Thank you for your share, and I want to read
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): what to me. And the cool said, yeah, other folks
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): resonating
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Jamie. I lean back and was engulfed by the memory of studying kinetic singing in Kerala, walking into the hot walking to the house, sitting in the room, the harmonium between me and Galuji atrium at the door to my left, with telescope reaching up to the sky
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): in the center of it, the play between like profound groundedness and ephemeral flight, when singing
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): forward, and was reminded that I've been singing more lately, and have been aware of how healing and nourishing it is
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): improving my breathing posture, relaxing over extensive muscles, recruiting neglected ones. coming my Vegas response and emotions, and much more.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): It's really feeling that, Jamie i'm curious about how to bring singing more deep in deeply and consistently into my routine. Yeah.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): just some guiding, Jamie. Would you like to share out loud?
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): You don't need to at all. But if you want to.
Jamie (she/her) @tharavadayoga: you know what this is. Thank you. I'm in the car so it's like a little broken up a little bit, but
Jamie (she/her) @tharavadayoga: you know it's there's been several
Jamie (she/her) @tharavadayoga: science coming to me about ways that I can nourish, and I think it has to do with, You know spring time, and you know the senses are awakening in a different way right now, and singing has been one of them. That's really been coming up a lot for me.
Jamie (she/her) @tharavadayoga: I used to be a singer, I mean. You don't ever stop using her. But you know I used to see more regularly, and you know I've studied different disciplines.
Jamie (she/her) @tharavadayoga: and and they're just, you know. I just keep on getting these signs here and there. you know just a a a video that appears when I, you know.
Jamie (she/her) @tharavadayoga: jump on Youtube that is like, hey? This is, you know, app for Carnatic singing, you know.
Jamie (she/her) @tharavadayoga: And so yeah, today, when I was
Jamie (she/her) @tharavadayoga: leaning forward and leaning back, it was sort of this opportunity
Jamie (she/her) @tharavadayoga: to have this interplay between the past and the future, and sort of what the possibilities are
Jamie (she/her) @tharavadayoga: that combine things that I love with things that are really really.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Yeah. thank you, Jamie. I love that. And you know it's so amazing, because
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I think that often in our
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): world the way it is, it's like when we do something and we love it, we sometimes think we have to monetize it, or make it a part of what we do in the world, but we don't right like we can sing like you were sharing just for the joy of it, or saying, you know. Maybe it becomes part of how we're sharing like part of how we open up
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): class or close, you know, in Shavas and that type of thing. But for me a lot of my chanting happens just in my own practice, like in the morning or in the evening.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and in a way, organically, or i'll practice with a a T or a through a period of time. Sometimes it's a month, sometimes it's more.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): it is I. I also love what you did there of reminding yourself and us
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): of the benefits of all of the wonderful things that come from certain. You know practices that we do, because that is a helpful feedback loop to get us to practice more.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Thank you to me. And
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): yeah.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): okay, I don't need. Well, first i'm just gonna read this that I saw Carly to. I said Susanna, and I teach in such a powerful and body way.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I feel like you're meaning. I mean, Susannah. I really feel like your message always gets delivered with lots of clarity. So it's really calming for me to hear that I still still have a personal and totally normal human experience of nervous energy.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Thanks for that transparency and open hearted share. Yeah, yeah, I really do. And I at the point where like, when I come on before I meet with you all. I don't have it so much because I was talking to Katerina, and I was like I love. I love our time together. It's so
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): nourishing. And so this I don't have so much anymore. I did at first.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): but if it was like a one off class or i'm presenting somewhere, I have absolutely online or in person. I do have that kind of nervous energy. And so when I queued you at the beginning to drop the like
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): student, you know, Zoom face That was for me, too.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): right to just be like, Be here. B. And
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): the love of Yoga, the love of practice with people who also love yoga and love practicing.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): it's coming back to. We'll talk about this, maybe in our next time we gather
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): that kind of like like a like in teaching. We had a value statement, for, like a a teaching philosophy, philosophy is a little too heavy. But I think of like.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Why am I here and going back to that, even if my body is like having all sorts of reactions coming back to that, why
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): helps me ground in my intention, and then create hopefully
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and experience that that people
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): feel, you know, and that land, and it's for them, because the other thing about nervousness for me, I notice
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): when I wasn't grounding, is it actually took the experience away from them and made it back about me like oh, i'm Sorry, you know. And it's okay, like we have those inner thoughts that come out.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): But
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): then, is it really about them, or is it about me protecting my, you know stuff out? So I had to move through that, and it's taken me.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and i'm sure there's still ways that i'm moving through it.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I want to leave Button. Paul says, I feel that so much. I can't figure out a name or quote unquote title for what I do. Besides, beyond facilitator. Yes, just wanna like underscore spiritually highlight this Nicole, because sometimes we don't fit into boxes. Right? We have so much wisdom. It's like, we're wise, elder.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): But who you know what job title is that, or like a I mean, not like an age elder, but like.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): have so much insight
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): that we hold that space right. But who can give that as a job title. But I've been wondering how I can help you imagine a more equitable world and more equitable way of reading.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I was feeling really overwhelmed and hurt by some conversations I experience today, and the piece from the practice helped use some of the pain of being in spaces with people who don't value the same thing. I do. Yeah, really feeling that.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Hmm.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): yes, Susan, i'm in a Maharishi into the dharma talk for this theme, and they improve. Who am I in to silence
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and inquiry into our joy? Right that basic nature of joy.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): that
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): that can be the spark. you know. And I also want to speak into the space. I know we're closing soon, but like
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): if you're here, I don't know who I am. I'm not feeling any joy.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And this talk or this conversation is not landing because it's not how I feel it's like.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Yeah. And you're welcome here, too, and there may be sparks. There may be moments where you feel less sad.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): You know we're like oh, I kind of like that wasn't that terrible
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): right, and that follow that path, and follow this part, so follow the
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): the things that
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): where you feel a little more ease or a little more like yourself, even if they don't make sense, because those are clues and queues to
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): to our
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): deep self nature.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and it isn't going to talk mainly to us. It isn't going to tell us we did something wrong that we're bad, you know, like that in our self. Nature
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): is going to come with
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): with wisdom and with love to us, too.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): when it communicates.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): That is one of my favorite practices, challenging, but also one of the most powerful, the root of self compassion. Self love. Self-confidence is self study. Yes.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): getting to know myself, being curious without judgment. It's been like a catalyst of creating a more aligned life for myself.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): constant reminder to observe and inquire without touching
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): the practice has been doing it. Scared? Yes, that we will never be 100% ready. And that's okay.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): We get to do it messy and give ourselves a kindness. We need to be okay with that, to keep getting messages, to continue creating and sharing that feels so scary and also so aligned working to harmonize those feelings. Yes.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and then, Katie, turning off, it has to be perfect, or it's not worth it. Yes.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): so hard to turn that off
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): like it does help.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): That's why I wanted to bring in, you know, like so many things like, look for the imperfections right there everywhere, like in things, are not symmetrical. The solar system is not the earth doesn't move in a symmetrical way? It's like we're not meant to be
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): perfectly aligned, like zipped up little boxes of beings like we're just not. We're meant to be quirky and weird, and you know, like Flowy sometimes, and rounded and not grounded. So so
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): the invitation for this week this month, this time, is to self
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): inquire to its 4,
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and to have fun with that.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): to play. and to not be perfect.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): And so with that I think we will close in a moment. I don't see any other hands. London says.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I love receiving these shares, I feel very connected and less alone in my messy process. Yes. hmm, Karen, my side. Yeah. I hope we know when to go inside and find the real meaning versus the surface.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): What appears
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): to be the obvious meeting of the human situations i'm. Involved in the lessons learned for Yoga living versus human debate. Yes.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): so thank you so much to each of you. I'm very grateful to be able to be with you each month a couple of times a month.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I'm. In a season of
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): traveling, but also doing what I love, which is writing. I'm partly here to finish my second book, and just like be in that sometimes. It takes grand testers, you know, like sometimes it's not possible to do things in the way that we've been like setting things up, and we got to just like
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I read about someone who bought a plane ticket there in back like
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): right away, and wrote his book all the way there and then all the way back it was like, I think I'm going to do that, but actually stay a little bit and have some human experiences, and of course we can't All right. Just be like, you know. This is a plan thing, and
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): the I share that to say
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): it doesn't always have to make sense, and it doesn't always have to like. Look how you thought it was going to look
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): and
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): doing what you love, and exploring that, and connecting to to you. Really.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): it's such a beautiful way to practice.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Okay. So I hope that I hope that you take away some joy, some exploration, and I love to invite everyone to unmute, and we can say goodbye to close.
Katie Komos (she/her): Thank you so much. Thank you.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): Hmm.
Susanna Barkataki (she/her): I know.